What would you do if you discovered that you had a sibling that was putup for adoption?

Question

Upon investigating, you learn that your sibling believes their family is their biological family. What would you do? Would you tell them that you are their sibling or would you let them continue living the life they have already grown comfortable with, even if it is a bit of a white "lie".

Answer 1

I don't think it's a siblings place to tell someone they may be adopted.  I think the parents should be the ones to tell, really.  As an adoptee, I honestly don't care that I have a family out there somewhere that is my "birth" family, because to me, my family is made up of the people who love me, care for me, and blood lines don't really amount to much.  I love my birth mom for loving me enough to give me up for adoption, I know she had my best interest at heart.  If she found me that would be ok with me.  But I don't consider treating my family as my family as a "lie"--and that wouldn't change if I hadn't known.

Answer 2

If your only motivation was for yourself, then it would be selfish to tell the person.  It would cause an emotional turmoil that would not be justified.  However, I might tell them if there was a genetic disease that ran in my family that they needed to be tested for.  In that case, though, I'd try to tell their adoptive parents so they could encourage their child to be tested or whatever.

Answer 3

it would be right to tell him or her

but, try to understand what if he was with you would you you guys start hanging out more what would it change

my guess would be first talk to your parents and see if they'll tell you any thing if they don't throw evidence at them

then in private talk to his or hers family

Answer 4

personally, i'd tell them the truth. i couldn't imagine believing someone was my actual family if they weren't; i'd much rather be told i was adopted.

Answer 5

Its her right to be told. If the people in charge of telling her don't, I do hope she has someone at some point in her life who loves her enough to step up to the plate and tell her and shame the aparents for not telling her.

This is why adoptees need better rights. This adoptees rights are clearly being violated and she doesn't even know it. Her entire life becomes a lie. But deeeeeep inside, she knows it. I'd bet she knows it. You could be the piece thats always been missing. You could be what she needs. My sister, that I found, who didn't know about me, and was raised by my father, says I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. When somethings struggling in her life, she calls ME first. The love of a sister is being there for eachother, adopted or not, if one knows of the other, don't wait another day CONTACT HER!!

Answer 6

I would tell them.

Answer 7

Yeah they prayed for her conception, just so happens someone else conceived her.

Anyway, I call MY sisters mom first and talked with her for about 10 years before I got a chance to talk and meet with my sister. She did everything to keep us apart because there was fraud involved with my sisters adoption. When we did meet it was a great day and now she has nothing to do with me, I guess her mom forbid it.

Answer 8

I would be shocked and upset to learn that I had a sibling that I had never been told about.  (Not necessarily upset about the adoption itself, but just the fact that it had been kept from me my whole life that I had another sibling out there.)

Would I tell the sibling?  I suppose my initial reaction would be to want to tell them and to get to know them.  But, before I rushed into doing something like that, ultimately I'd look into the full circumstances of the situation.

But I'd hope that I'd be able to develop some sort of relationship with them.

Answer 9

I would talk to the adopted family about, and if they chose that you should not tell them, as well as the birth parents, you should stop and think about the motives for not telling.  The sibling will find out sometime in their life, and sometimes, the "adults" choice can be very selfish.  Your sibling deserves to know.