What would you do if you found out your last name, wasn't really your last name?

Question

My dad told me three or four years ago that my last name isn't really my last name... that it's my dad's adoptive fathers. He recently changed it to his family's real last name. What do I do?

I am almost 20 and I am used to the last name I have but now it feels fake... it's a common name like smith but i'm used to it.

our real last name sounds funny but has history to it... but then again my dad wasn't in the picture... plase help I'm confused.

I think I should just change it completely and make my own thing.... should i do that? what would you do?

Answer 1

Of course, this is a personal choice.

You are still young enough that you don't have alot of financial records under your current last name.  If you were to change it, I'd do it now.

As to whether you should....Sounds like you have a good enough reason in that it wasn't your actions that changed your surname of your birth ancestors.  So so you want your descendants to have your present last name or the previous generation's last name?

There are a lot of people out there in your circumstances and probably left things as they are, just explaining that their ancestors last name was such-in-such and why.

Answer 2

I'm not sure. It's hard to put yourself in that situation unless you're actually in it.

Since researching my family history, I've grown to love my surname more than ever. I used to dislike it, because it's awkward to spell, everyone mispronounces it, and it seems quite geeky. But now I've learned about my ancestors, and what sort of life they had, I feel increasingly tied to the name. I'm proud of it now, and I am glad to have it.

The problem now is that I'm getting married next year, so in my time as an unmarried female, I would have only spent 2 years really appreciating the name, which I think is really sad.

I consider my surname a part of my identity, and an indication as to where my family originated. If it was taken from me, I think I would feel lost.

Answer 3

make new friends but keep the old go ahead and hyphon one with the other

Answer 4

Well, it IS your name.  It is the name they gave you at birth.  Your father is the one who was able to chose.  But, I say keep it.  Changing your name is a pain in the butt.  It is more than just going to court...you have to go to social security, the DMV, call your bank, your credit cards, tell all your friends and associates.

The thing is...your current last name- the one you have had all your life- IS your last name.  Now you just have an interesting branch in your family tree.  

Answer 5

That's really tough, and I actually had a friend who was faced with the same problem.  I think the easiest solution would be to make the "family name" your middle name, and keep your current surname.

On the other hand, this can be really, really emotional. Ask yourself a few questions:

1.  How much does this matter to you? Is a new last name going to make you a different person?

2.  What is going on with your dad - is he totally abandoning his adoptive family (and father) who loved him enough to adopt him and give him their name? That is no light decision, believe me. Is it worth basically telling your grandfather that despite a lifetime of love, his name means nothing to you?

3.  What is going on with the "real" a.k.a. biological family? Are they welcoming your dad back with open arms, telling him they didn't really want to lose him, etc., etc.?  That too can be very emotional, and would be best solved (IMO) by honoring them as well as adoptive family by going the new middle name route. Then you get to keep the name with the history.

I do wish you all the best, as this is a tough call.  Just remember that you make your name, your name does not make or define you.