What would you do if your 11 yr old daughter told you to "shut up you stupid B*tch"?

Question

My sister is constantly getting into arguments with her adolecent daughter, and sometimes she screams stuff like this, at my sister as I've been told by her. Just wondering what you would handle this if u were her mom?

Answer 1

I would smack her *** and tell her if she doesnt straighten up I will send her some where that can.

Answer 2

Your sister must not argue with a child, it never works.  She must learn to walk away when the child is out of control.  That kind of language is totally unacceptable and if it was my child who said it, I would probably be in jail right now for child abuse.  

But that aside, she must calmly tell her child that that kind of behaviour is unacceptable and these are the punishments if it happens again.  And then she sticks to it.

For example - removing her mobile phone if she has one, grounding her (especially if there is something good coming up) etc etc.

Your sister is the adult, she lays down the law, not the child.  

By the way, if my children are rude to me (and not one has ever been as rude to me as your niece has been) I dock £5 from their pocket money.

Answer 3

well violende is not the answer dont slap her or anything cause thats child abuse just send her to her room ground her from tv and stuff like that

Answer 4

I would slap the S**t out of her. Forget going out, cell phone, internet all that stuff, until she learns what respect means.

Answer 5

Well obviously she is taking other issues out on her mother.  She probably feels this is the best place to do it.  Her mom needs to get to the root of the behavior and help her find other ways of dealing with it. Peer pressure is hard and can confuse kids greatly.  As parents we need to work past it and help our kids understand they are better than the behavior they present at times.

Answer 6

I would back hand my daughter through the wall.  IN no way will my child ever disrespect me.

Answer 7

My daughter would never do that because I'd never let it get that far. I don't get into arguments with her. I'm the mum, I make the rules. If she even tries, I tell her "This is not a discussion."

Plus, she knows full well that if she ever behaved so dreadfully there would be serious consequences.

Answer 8

Her mouth washed out with soap, and a bare butt paddling she would not soon forget.

Answer 9

I work with extremely high needs children who have often said even worse things to me for no apparent reason. I have always found that loss of privileges works- always give warnings first, you can do this even before a situation happens. State rules clearly to the child, they should be firm understandable and not changed until they need to be according to age. As she gets older they need to adjust and she needs to be aware of them at all times to avoid arguements. First thing in the morning if there is an activity planned remind the child and say we need good behavior for this to happen. When an extreme situation such as this comes comes up, take that activity away- remind them of the previous warning and be firm- never backtrack. If there is no activity or things planned for the day- even them going shopping with her parent is a privilege and can be taken away- then have set things you consider privileges and are clearly known to the child. A favorite game system, t.v, things that they have that are extras are all privileges.  I don't believe in grounding really because all it gets is a wound up child. But grounding them away from something that is a fav for them for a day or week sets a consequence to their action in their minds. They will react with more anger at first but if consistent, firm and also loving the child will find comfort in your direction and be more settle. The best thing a parent can give is a loving, consistent, guiding, structured (with a little give and take also) home.

Answer 10

I would ground her-especially from something really important to her. When I was younger-my life was friends, phone, tv, and internet. When I was disrespectful or didn't follow rules, I got all of those things taken away. I hated it, but i learned my lesson real fast.

Answer 11

I dont agree with hitting your daughter to make her learn.

I promise you, that wont help.

Grounding her, yes. But dont be so strict,

take her phone, or computer.

Not both. A child needs someone else to vent out on.

And youre going to take out all her options, so she may continue to let the anger on you.

She obviously has some other anger/frustruation and she lets it out by saying vulgar things.

Tell the mom to have the daughter write her a letter of whats bothering her.

If its her mom that is bothering her, tell her to list the things the daughter doesn't like about the mom.

Take her out to eat and maybe talk about it that list.

Maybe the mom needs to give the daughter a little space, shes 11, she doesnt need much space until shes 15.

And maybe they can come to an agreement.

I think the main thing here is have the mom spend some time with the daughter once a week,

(out to eat, get nails done, go shopping, hang out/ do something together,)

Answer 12

I would belt her across the mouth, knock out her teeth send her to her room and ground her indefinitly

Answer 13

if my child ever spoke to me like that I would wonder where the heck I went wrong. Kids don't just end up like that on their own. There must have been years of lack of discipline and consistency. I have 13 yr old twin boys and they would never even think about speaking to me like that and I've never even spanked them. They've had consistent discipline and have been taught respect.

It sounds like your sister needs to gain her daughters respect and she won't do that by slapping her, that's for sure. Some people are so ignorant.

Answer 14

Well being a 14 year old and knowing if i ever did that these things would happen...

1st  my mouth would be washed out with soap. (sounds hash but it should work)

2ed sent to my room for about 20 min

3rd have to aplogize

4th If this keeps going on you should get some  perfetional help.

(super nanny is a good show to watch)

Answer 15

Well what I would do is give her a big smack and tell her what a very un-classy lady she is. lol But really what I would do is tell her to not use that kind of language around me and any of her siblings, and if she does it again some of her prized possessions will be taken away from her.

Answer 16

What if your sister said something rude or condescending and she does it constantly. Everyone has a breaking point. I don't think cussing is the way to go (especially at her mother), but looking at it generically, she's clearly just angered or frustrated. Rather than grounding her and crud for things that she said in the heat of the moment, try to both calm down and state to each other why you're upset.

Plus, "go to your room, with no tv, internet, etc." just a parent's way at a comeback every single time.

However, if the kid is truly being unreasonable, then yeah, I'd  find some punishment, but try something that says you mean business. I don't mean child lockdown, but no tv and internet and all that other stuff is so rountinely...the kid will dub it pointless.

Answer 17

since she want to be grown I would treat her like an adult.  GET THE h**l OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!! that will show her who the stupid ***** is......oh yeah and I will pray for her safety.  She would not wear the clothes or shoes that I bought her, she will not take any of my food, I would teach her how she need me more than anything in this world.  Once life get hard for her she will come crawling back apologizing, and she will then know you are not the stupid one after all.

Answer 18

Smack her in the mouth and take away the things she loves...tv, phone, etc. I would never have talked to my parents like that and my kids will never talk to me like that. She should of started disciplining her when she was younger. If she did, that little girl would not be disrespecting her mother like that.

Answer 19

Slap her on the mouth for her insolence and throw her out of the house for punishment. Obviously your sister hadn't done a sufficient job in the discipline department (it's more than just spanking that needs to be done); words like that should NEVER come out of anyone's mouth, whether from child to a parent or vice versa. This behavior is unacceptable and if the kid wants to talk tough, they'll have to handle tough punishment.

Answer 20

i would back slap the little s**t, sent her to her room, ground her and talk everything she loves and not give it back to her until she learns some respect

but then again i would have showen her how to respect me from the get go so its no-1 fault but your sister its tooo late now to show her manners!!!

Answer 21

My 11 year old would never in a million years say that to me - but lets just say she completely lost her mind for a minute and did - I'd smack her mouth, ground her to her room while I think up all kinds of jobs she'd have to do around the house - she'd be allowed out of her room to do the work and to eat meals - that's it. Keep in mind that her bedroom is only a bedroom - there is no phone, no TV, no computer, no toys - just her bed, dressers, and clothes. It would be this way for at least 1 week - then she'd have to earn her way out of the punishment. I'd make her life so miserable she'd never even think of saying something like that to me again.

Answer 22

i think maybe you should shut up. you might get ***** slapped.

i no thats what i do to my mom if she doesnt shut up.

Answer 23

I would knock her out plan and simple all this c**p about not spanking your kids is bull **** because if you dont this is how your kids will talk to you.

Answer 24

It will probably keep happening because it sounds like she's learning her behavior from her mom.  The fact that your sister is arguing with an 11 year old means she's doing some yelling herself.  So her daughter thinks that's how you're supposed to handle these situations.  The arguments have to stop.  The daughter has to realize that her mom is in charge and the mom can't stoop to her level.  But your sister has to get her points across in a civil way not only to keep the peace but to show her daughter how to handle herself in these situations, even if they are very upsetting.

Answer 25

i would give her the silent treatment about everything... she would not get anything she wanted until i got a decent apology and i would make it stand up to the highest standards... by hitting her i feel like i would unleash anger that  should have been able to hold back . i feel like mentally it would be easier to break them down and they will remember it

Answer 26

If I talked like that, my mom would have smacked me in the mouth!  I would NEVER even THINK of cursing at my mom, let alone call her a beotch.  Your sister needs to gets some balls and take control of this brat before she gets even more out of hand!!

Answer 27

My daughter would never do that.

I believe children should be taught from a young age that they need to respect their parents. If my daughter did it once I would be sure it never happened again.

Your sister needs to sit down with her daughter and have a long talk about respect.

Answer 28

The first thing that would happen is that I would take a bar of soap and make her take a bite out of it and let her chew on it for about 5 mins. Then she could spit out. After that she would get a sound bare butt spanking with the wooden spoon. After that I would let her rinse her mouth and ground her for at least a month. Language like that is unacceptable, Especially against another person!

Answer 29

i don't have this problem because my communication skills are better.  this is a symptom of a problem that originates with the parent.  she needs to learn patience, self respect, and how to listen.

Answer 30

First of all I would take a bar of soap and make her keep it in her mouth for 11 minutes, I would also ground her from any and everything she loves for probably 1 month and give her a good talking to.  Trust me this would never happen twice from my kid!

Answer 31

it would have never been said if she were my child...she would have been taught better and would know the price she would pay if she did say anything like that to me .  11 years, yes a spanking on the bare bottom with a paddle-ball paddle would be a start.  next would be a boot camp / military school  for a few months. if i had to work 2 jobs to get it paid for i would.