What would you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend is like this?

Question

I knew my b/f on net, have never met him yet, we will meet this Christmas. We've been together for 9 months. He deleted his profile in some dating online sites when i was with him. In the first three months, he was online usually, called me at least once a day talking for hours, kept texting me everyday...But then, since the 4th month, he has been online hardly, called and texted me less than before. When i call him, noone picks up, when i text, noone replies, after that 1 or 2 days, he texts me......He keeps saying that hes busy with his study (hes studying 2 degress at the same time) and thats why he cannot answer my calls or reply my texts.

Last month i found his profiles in some online dating sites, his status is SINGLE and interested in RELATIONSHIP WITH WOMEN. I disguised as another girl and he sent msg to me, talking as if he's a single and looking for a girlfriend. I told him who i was and he was shocked, but he didnt apologize, yet he got angry at me because i didnt trust him. He deleted his profile in friendster immediately then and deleted ones in some other online dating sites which i asked him why his status were set as SINGLE there. He told me that he just rebuilt it and hadn't had a chance to complete it (yet he could have time to send msg to other girls)

2 weeks ago, i found his profile again in friendster. A girl added him and he sent msg to her. But unluckily, she couldnt reply his msg but commented on his page and i saw her comments: "hey! do u have msn?Im still single. hahhaa. aNy ways, ur welcome. Thx for replying me" and "hahahha. thx. my aDD is [e-mail].

Btw, i dun give my number to someone so fast. sorry!". Its obvious that he asked for her phone number. And this is my b/f comment on his own page (for whom, i have no idea): "Thanks for adding me to your friend's list. I appreciate it alot and hope to get to know you better and closer."..... I asked him about that and he again got angry with the same reason that i didnt trust him and wanted to probe into his privacy! When i told him that there was no privacy between couples, he said he didnt mind if i went through there but i shouldn't have kept negative thoughts in my mind about him and his love for me. When i asked about those girls, he never answered me. He just said "I dont have to answer. You can trust whoeve you want".....Still he keeps telling me that he loves me and me alone and......stuffs, sweet talks! And when i told him that those girls bothered me, he promised that there would be no girls anymore and he would not create any profile in any online dating sites anymore...

And now, i've got no news from him for 2 days, maybe hes having his exam at the moment. But is there anyone that busy? Or he doesnt care? He says that when he studies, his phone is in his drawer with silent mode so that he can concentrate on his study! After those busy days, he gets back as usual and tells me to get online with him....I text about 30 sms and get 2 or 3 replies from him. I call about 70 missed calls and he picks up once. Thats what have kept happening lately, since the 4th month!

What do you think about all those stuffs?????? Help me, i need some advices from you guys! Thank you soo much!

Answer 1

just keep this in mind : whatever that he is doing to you (sweet talk, sending msgs online, promising this and tt)

he can do to the others. leave him babe.

Answer 2

You have never actually met this person? Here is some advice. Cancel the Christmas thing. This is not a nice oerson. The only thing you will look back on this and be thanful for is that you found out now instead of later. Because after you have actually met him, it will only hurt that much more.

And really, you have been putting up with this for 5 months???? Wow. Get a grip.

Answer 3

ignore him

Answer 4

OMG girl! Stop killing yourself. He's not trustworthy and apparently "too busy" for a relationship. Break it off because you need someone who will be there for you.

Answer 5

I think its time to move on.

Who knows what his next move might be?

I don't think he is taking you seriously.

Answer 6

Well no offence really but you are sounding a bit phsyco. 70 missed calls????

30 sms's??? shame the poor guy.. give him a break!! Sweetie is there a reason why you are you are so insecure? past betrayal? because you have a serious case of mistrust.

You cant have a relationship with out trust.  period.

If you have any doubts then you should not be together. You can not control him & what he does, you should be together because you love him for who he is. If he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat, there's nothing you can do about it now, the worrying & stressing about it will drive you crazy & drive you apart.

How would you feel if you spent the next two years wasting time just worrying about if he's gonna & he never does??? Just think of all that time wasted?

Just be yourself girl! This guy has a serious load on his plate right now & he needs a girlfriend that can be there to support him & be uplifting & a refreshing break from his hectic studying!! He shouldn't have to hide his phone away & put it on silent so he can get a few hours of peace to study... you are going to lose him if you cary on this way, because you are being clingy & guys don't like clingy girls.

Just remember to that there's nothing wrong with a bit of harmles flirting either, guys enjoy having thier ego's stroked ... that is why you should be stroking it not smashing it.

Good luck sweetie, i know it is hard... especially because we all want to protect ourselves from being hurt

x*x