What would you do if your daughter?

Question

This is a chaotic situation. Ready? k- I am a 30 yr old mother of 4 , my children are 15,13,12, and 2. My 15 yr old was constantly being defiant because she thought she would be able to go and live with her father if I got "sick" of her. Every time I attempted to discipline her for her bad behavior, she would just run out the door to her dad. After about a year of this, I decided for the well being of my household, as well as my sanity , to allow her to go with her dad two years ago. (lives 7 blocks away). K-... now, Dad let's her do as she pleases. No rules, no consequences etc... I regret this decision to an extent. But now I'm stepping into a whole new realm of c**p. My 2 nd daughter whom is 12 is now going through puberty and she see's my first daugter doing whatever she wants, and thinks the same routine will work for her ( I'm sure my oldest gave her some pointers) , I make it clear, I'm not playing this game a second time. I become aggressive and intimidating in the matter. Niceness has no effect. So because this isn't working for her and she quickly realizes that I'm not having it, she decided to go somewhere that might very well end up costing her a great deal. She has begun to make secretive attempts to harm her little 2 yr old sister. For example, giving her 4-5 tsps of children's motrin at a time, while hiding in the bathroom with her. The only thing I can think of, is am I dealing with a future psycho path on my hands? This is just one example, there are others just as disturbing, I care not to elaborate. I see a darkness to her that scares the **** out of me. I think at her age she has advanced onto thinking above the average adult mind. I believe counseling would only be a ploy on her behalf. Her sneakiness would match that of a mastermind criminal. What would you do facing this situation, someone has to know?

Answer 1

honestly, as bad as it sounds i would send the 12 year old to like a military school of some sort.  not like a boarding school, just a school that will straighten her out.  if she's doing these things to the 2 year old, who's to say she's not going to harm the 2 year old even more.  

it also kinda sounds like maybe she's jealous.  try and spend some one on one time w/ the 12 year old. try to find out what's bugging her so much.

good luck

Answer 2

Can she go live with the dad also?  Then she's out of your hair.  Otherwise I would get her into treatment.  Either a boot camp or a medical treatment center.  I used to work in one, there is insurance/financial help available.  My fiance has a step-brother that has 9 out of the 11 characteristics of a serial killer.. needless to say he is in one of these now.  It might be something to at least check into.  

Answer 3

Okay make your oldest daughter move back into the house.

Then when you oldest daughter is back into the house...

set up rules like if your daughters don't do there homework there grounded not video games, cell phones, and such....

and for you other daughter yes counseling.........but nothing like a boot camp or treatment center. because that will make her mad at you beyond reason! LOTS OF COUNSELING!

Answer 4

Letting your older daughter go to her dad's was a big mistake. Giving your children what they want when they misbehave is one of the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent. I am not too sure what I would do in your situation. I never would have let it get to this point in the first place. But what you might consider doing, and should have long ago, is to get these kids into counseling. They obviously have never really learned how to deal with your divorce or the environment in which they live. If you honestly think it would be a "ploy" in favor of your children, and that she thinks above the average adult mind, then I strongly urge that you get some counseling, too. You are obviously losing your grip on the reality of the situation. These are still kids. They need a strong, confident parental figure in their life. Be that figure!

Good luck!