What would you do if your kid said you were a bad parent?

Question

no no im not a parent i was jw

Answer 1

I'd tell them that I'm sorry they feel that way and I believe they are very good children regardless of what they think.

I wouldn't take it personally, because I know it's just said out of anger and will pass. I'll just smile and say that I still love them.

Every kid has told their parent they hate them or they're a bad parent at one time or another. They're looking for a certain reaction. Give them the exact opposite.

Answer 2

I would ask them why they felt that way. Chances are they are mad because they didn't get their way, but there is also a chance that maybe you are unknowingly causing them some emotional pain. I always look to improve my parenting skills. Talk to your kids about why they feel that way. Try to make them feel like a person and discuss with them why you do the things you do. Try to be calm and talk with your children. They understand more than you think.

And, always try to see things from your child's point of view. Make sure they know you understand, but that you have to do what you think is best for them while they're under your roof.

Answer 3

I would calmly ask, "What did I do that you think is bad?"  I would listen to the answer and let the child know that s/he was heard.  Then I would give my reason for doing the thing that was supposedly "bad."  I would either say, "Well, I think that was a good thing to do because [insert reason], but it's okay for you to disagree," or, "You know, you are right that that wasn't the best thing to do.  I'll try to do better next time."  I would not grovel or belabor the apology, and if the kid continued to say I was "bad" even after I apologized, I would say, "Well, YOU are not being very nice to keep saying I'm 'bad' when I already said 'sorry.'  We both have to try to be nice."

Answer 4

If they said it because of things that I knew to be good parenting, I wouldn't think on it. Like not letting them stay out late? Thats good parenting.

But if I had been busy lately and not giving my child as much attention as necessary, I might think about it and mske more of an effort

Answer 5

It depends on how old they are. Little kids say things like "i hate you!" often, but when your teenage or adult son/daughter tells you that you're a bad parent, I think that is when the parent should self-reflect.

Answer 6

Either they have heard it from other children or you really aren't doing something right.

Answer 7

i'd realize the manipulation behind the statement, send the kid to the room, and work harder at listening to what my child was trying to tell me.

Answer 8

I would be hurt but I would brush it off...kids tend to say things like this especially when they do not get their way and wanna be a brat(regardless of how old they are)!

I would also ask them 'If I'm such a bad parent then why do you have clothes,shoes,books,and everything else you need..and you are still alive and have a roof over your head?'

But dont take it too harshly because kids will be kids

Answer 9

Ignore them. All kids say that at one point or another, usually after the denial of some treat or the application of discipline.

Answer 10

Right now, nothing. My child's only 3 and she has told me on several occasions that I'm a "mean, mean mommy" when I wouldn't let her do something she wanted. It's just her way of expressing her frustration. I figure she's verbally and calmly expressing her unhappiness, so why get mad? I'm glad that she can tell me how she feels and not just throw her self on the floor and have a tantrum!

Answer 11

That depends.Are they on probation and going to court next week?Do you cuss them and go off on them easily?If so then yes you are a bad parent.If they do well in school and are not in any trouble then no you are not and they are just acting bratty because they are mad at you.

Answer 12

on the fun side.... my mom used to tell us she was going for the "Mean Mom Award" of the year. we grumbled about it and usually dropped the subject.

on the other hand... if my child had a logical reason behind saying such a thing and I knew or thought that he was right then I'd sit down to figure out what to change about myself and my parenting skills. most likely I'd seek out a therepist just in case.

Answer 13

Don't take it too hard as kids say "I hate you" and all sorts of mean things! Try to understand why they said that and if they are right then maybe you need to make adjustments and if not then they are just being a brat and you will have to let it go I guess. Talk to your kid. :)

Answer 14

First I would take a long hard look at what I am doing as a parent, then I would talk to my kid and find out why s/he said that.

If it were just an anger thing, then I wouldn't take it too seriously, but if it were something else, then I would want to know what I was doing wrong, and I would work to find a balance between what I think of as good parenting and what my child sees as good parenting.

My parents always encouraged me to talk to them about anything that I thought should be done differently, and I will do the same for my kids.

Answer 15

READ ME?well i would ignore them,kids always expect u to hear them when they say something mean.just keep doing what ur doing when they say that.and ignore them atleast awhile,know that their not worth waisting ur time

Answer 16

Ignore it.... this is normal, especially if it was because they didn't get what they wanted. Then stick to your decision anyway. It is usually an intimidation/guilt tactic. Don't let it work... I said to mine "sorry, I try"...."I've been a kid, this is my first time as a parent"....=>

Answer 17

To a certain extent, I'd be surprised if my child DIDN'T, at some point, say he hated me or that I was a bad parent.  As a child grows, one of his jobs is to gradually establish his separateness and independence from his parents.  This is one way for him to work through this problem.

It's very unlikely that he really doesn't love you.  And for a younger child, he really does believe that he should get whatever he wants.  So if you ever say no, which of course you must, he will accuse you of being a bad parent.  It's just one of many tactics he will use to try to manipulate you.  "If I can convince Mommy she's a bad parent, maybe she'll give me what I want."  This does not mean you have a bad kid.  It means you have a normal kid, testing the limits you have set for him.  It's your job to expect it, and not fall for it.

Another way to look at it is that a child is much more likely to misbehave with you than with anyone else.  He might throw tantrums, say mean things or do things he shouldn't.  The reason he does these things at home is precisely because he knows you DO love him.  He knows that your love is unconditional.  A friends parent might tell him he can't come back to their house.  He knows you won't do that, so you're the safest person to push the limits with.

I would not punish or chastise a child for saying this kind of thing,  Say that you're sorry he feels that way, but you do love him and always will.

Depending on the circumstances, it might be helpful to discuss the reasons he said it.  Make sure he knows you are listening and that you take what he says seriously.  If you have made a mistake or treated him unfairly, do not hesitate to apologize and promise to try to do better the next time.  After all, parents are human too.

But very often, the thing he is really looking for is reassurance that you love him.  Very often, that reassurance is all that's required.

Answer 18

then I would know I was doing a good job. Kids who say that are being disciplined.