What would you do if your partner put a webspy on your shared computer even if there was nothing to hide?

Question

Should I be pissed off that every email and every keystroke was recorded by a web spy? I prefer to be foreward and ask questions, but my partner likes to sneak around watch my every move on the computer. Is this normal?

Answer 1

To me, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

The real issue is underneath this action...There is obviously no trust here; and unless you two talk openly and honestly about this, things will escalate and become unpleasant.

People who don't talk end up hurting each other and their marriage.

Answer 2

People that go to THAT much trouble usually have something to hide themselves.

It has been proven countless times.

Answer 3

This sounds like a newlywed move. Particularly if you didn't date for very long before you got married. I would suggest talking with your spouse about it and see what happens.

Answer 4

That would make me feel very weird. I would prefer to have my partner

be open and honest about concerns and would be upset having my privacy invaded that way, even if there were nothing to hide.  

Answer 5

No.  That's not normal.  I would kill my husband if he did that to me.  Where's the trust?  What a sick feeling that you're being watched.  Yuck.  No.

Answer 6

Have you ever done anything to cause, even a little doubt?

If not, it seems that she must feel insecure, she shouldn't feel like this so you MUST talk and resolve the situation quickly.

Answer 7

I would find that overwhelmingly invasive. I would not tolerate it.

Yes of course you have every right to be annoyed. Your partner's behaviour is sneaky, distrustful and controlling.

There's no way in the world I would put up with it. I couldn't live like that. You must assert your right to your own privacy in correspondence in particular, but also with regard to your other computer activity.

She must realise that in putting a webspy on your shared computer, she is going to drive you to become sneaky, because inevitably you are going to yearn for your privacy and end up using the computers at work, the library, or internet cafes for your private correspondence. I would tell her that actually, that her spying gives you the creeps and you refuse to use the home computer anymore, so you'll have to go out for your computer time. She really needs to grasp that her spying is completely abnormal and totally unacceptable.

Answer 8

I would be pissed off, extremely pissed...that is a total invasion of privacy and shows a complete lack of trust.  Oh h**l nah

Answer 9

I'd learn how to use it and would watch his every move.  

Answer 10

its a little EXTRA crazy on ur partner's part

he/she is very insecure, and doesnt trust u at ALL to go to such extremes

i wud recommed speaking to him/her and telling her to mind her own business and trust u otherwise, u cant always have her in ur business, u need ur privacy too, even if ur not doing anything wrong

Answer 11

no. It's not normal.  and yes. It would p**s me off!  What does he think he's going to find? What's he going to do if he finds it? Does he not think he can trust you? I'd have a whole lot of questions for him! Actually, people that act like that are generally hiding something themselves. It's big red flag when a husband starts sneaking around and checking up on his wife that he is cheating himself. People who cheat tend to realize how easy it would be for their spouse to do the same to them and get paranoid. I'd want some explanations for his behavior.

Answer 12

There obviously is a trust issue.  I don't know any of the reasoning behind it but if I were you, I would have a bit of fun with it.  It's pretty easy to have a practical joke with it.  Pretend to write a long exhusting email to someone.  Find something from a book or online.  You can practice your typing skill and he can practice his reading skill.  Then at the end of it all, write, "WE NEED TO TALK" or "I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS" over and over again.  Then talk it out.  Find out what his issue is.