What would you do if your sister made someone she hasn't known for very long her matron of honor?

Question

Ever since we were little girls my sister and I talked about our wedding day and how we would be eachother's maid/matron of honor. She is marrying someone who she doesn't know very well, and his sister who she has known equally as long, is going to be her matron of honor. I still want to go because she is my sister, I don't want to seem selfish, it just really hurts my feelings. She even calls her her sister, and she is taking care of the wedding for her. I don't mean to sound like a crybaby, but shouldn't that be my spot? She wasn't even going to tell me.

Answer 1

My sister didn't have me as her MOH...she got married in Vegas and I couldn't go...so I understand.  She wants to be my MOH now.  I would be so hurt and upset if my sister did this to me (if the wedding was here of course).  Why don't you talk to her about it?  I wouldn't say you are being selfish at all.  

Answer 2

Hmm.... I think you and you sister need to sit down together privately and you need to let her know how important it always was to you that you would be her maid of honor and help her with her special day.  Tell her that you feel like you're being left out and that you're very hurt by the exclusion.  She may be so hyped up over her new fiance and his family that she's not even realizing what she's doing.

If in the end she still wants to have her fiance's sister as her maid of honor, you will have to let it go and just try to enjoy the day and help her celebrate.  When you get married, I think you should still ask her to be your matron of honor.

Answer 3

my sister did the same thing to me... and now she expects me to chose her as the maid of honor. I'm still thinking about it though. I was kind of upset about it but i got over it.  

Answer 4

You know, I would feel exactly the same! :(

Tough call.  But, of course you should talk to your sister and let her know how you feel.  Don't make it about you, but you do need to get your feelings out there.  Maybe take her to lunch?  Also, I don't know just how close you two are but if you could think of a clever way of saying this, and by no means sounding rude, do it! Let her know that it's becoming increasingly more common to have both a Maid of Honor AND a Matron of Honor (which, it actually is).  And maybe this would be a fair way of handling the situation?

Of course don't force the idea, but maybe suggest it..

Good luck!

Answer 5

You let it go. It's a shame that you got your feelings hurt, but she gets to choose her own attendants. That "spot" doesn't have your name on it. I understand that you're disappointed, but you need to get over it so you can enjoy the day, in whatever role you are asked to participate.

Answer 6

Well, you are just going to have to deal with it.

She might regret it later on in life, but this is her prerogative.

My sister was only a bridesmaid for me, but we are not super close or anything and she knows I wanted my best friend to be in the honored spot.

Keep your feelings to yourself and just try to celebrate this wonderful event.  

Answer 7

Definitely feel your pain!  At this point, talking to her about it will not change her mind.  I feel you will only be putting her in a predicament in which she doesn't need to stress about.  She's not going to tell her fiance's sister that she is no longer the matron of honor.  That would only cause friction with them.  I would definitely keep it to yourself and just be happy for her and support her decision.  You can always be more involved and in touch with the fiance's sister to help out more with the planning.  Just help do all the things a matron of honor would normally do.  You know your sister more then this other girl, so I think both would be appreciative of your extra help!  

Dont be stubborn either when it comes time for your wedding.  If you want her to be your matron of honor, MAKE HER YOUR MATRON OF HONOR.  Dont let the bitterness get in the way of sisterhood.  

Good Luck!

Answer 8

Oh Animale-L, my dear.  I can feel your pain.  You were little sisters and you dreamed together of this day for your entire life, and now someone else just mysteriously takes your part in the dream, turning it into a nightmare.  Well, the first thing I would do is have a good cry.  Then I would wipe up those tears, and with you head held high, and mustering up all your courage, I would say to your sister, "Sis, I am sooo happy for you.  If there is anything I can do to make this day more special for you, or help in anyway with your wedding, just ask me.  Remember, Sis, I will always be your sister, and your special day is my special day too."  Then just celebrate with her, and be glad that someone else is doing all the work.

Answer 9

Ooh, this is totally rude on your sisters part! She should have chosen you!

Maybe she chose her fiances sister as a favour to her fiance?

Id talk to your sister about it...let her know that you feel hurt by her decision but, no matter what, you are there to support her!  

Answer 10

i hate people like that,inconsiderate!

Answer 11

Well are you married. a Matron can only be someone married.

Are you in the wedding ? She might be doing this so his family would like her. so don't be mad with her , just wait she talk to you about. Another reason she might be doing this is because she might be helping her pay for stuff.