Question:

What would you do in this situation: finally got a crazy family member out of my life now wants back in?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

Alright, I went through a little time where I was depressed, and my aunt helped me out alot. She found me an apartment and bought me some furniture and paid my security deposit for me when my boyfriend lost his job.

She has a lot of money. She had a good job for 45 years, and no kids or husband.

She put all the bills in her name to jump start my motivation. The place was basically ready for me and my family to move in. Two weeks later my boyfriend started his new job and it is really good.

Unfortunately shortly after, she got a little crazy and controlling. The apartment was across the street from her house.

She started calling me daily and criticizing everything I did. She would walk over to my apartment on garbage night to see if my garbage was out yet. Every week. And when it wasn't out she would call me and yell at me because she couldn't sleep because my garbage wasn't out. Every week I told her that my boyfriend would take it out when he got off work because he works nights. But she still called me every week to yell at me for not taking the garbage out. And every week I'd have to explain it to her again.

Then she would watch to see when i did my laundry and I guess she looked in my window? And she would yell at me even if it seemed I wasn't doing my laundry frequently enough for her.

Then the things she would yell at me about got weirder. Like she would make up things she assumed were happening over here at my apartment and then yell at me for them. Things that weren't even happening.

At this point, I still hadn't lost it because I was still very grateful that she helped me out when my family was in a rut.

She started treating my son mean. He's two. She would constantly fight with him over the smallest things. She would tell me he had too many toys, and that I bought him too much stuff for his birthday and that he didn't deserve them. At the same time she would buy my daughter something every time she went out. Eventually she told me she didn't even want him in her home. I started to lose it here a little cause I don't agree with anything she says ever and I know that the way she treats them is wrong because it is not equal.

Now, the bills were in her name, but my address. Occasionally they would get delivered to her house, but most of the time they would get delivered to mine. One time, a gas bill got delivered to her house that was mine and she kept it there until four days before it was due, and two of those days were a sunday and labor day. So, of course it was late, but it was not my fault. The following bill also got delivered to her house and it stated that I had not paid the previous month when I had. She freaked out because of this, and then decided that I suck at life and she changed my bills into her name and address, and said she was going to pay them and I would pay her. I did not agree with this because I was not at fault, and a fight ensued. I refused to pay this way. She also put letters in my mailbox everyday harassing me and called my house harassing me almost everyday until I blocked her from calling there.

Well, since she changed the bills at my apartment to her name and address, she got accused of not reporting income from rental properties or businesses, about a month later. She still put the bills for my property in my mailbox for me to pay. She needed me to sign off on some paperwork that stated that I lived at the property in question and paid all bills. She insisted that I come to her house and sign them, and she would not leave them in my mailbox like she did with many letters. So I refused to sign her papers. I don't know whatever happened with that.

She threatened to shut off my utilities but never did. I continued to pay them, and she kept putting them in my mailbox. Well eventually she wrote me another letter that was less mean, and I wrote her back saying that I didn't hate her and that I didn't appreciate her nagging me when she has no idea how much I actually do in a day with two small children (2 and 11 months) and a boyfriend that worked all night. It said that I didn't need her nagging me when I'm an adult and handle everything well and she just added to my stress.

So she wrote me a letter back that said she knew I was overwhelmed and that I took my anger out on her.

That is not what happened. I wasn't overwhelmed at all until she started doing all the stupid stuff she does. That's what put me over the edge. We were close to making up, but I think that I am happier without her bothering me all the time. I don't know how to tell her this, or if I should just let her back into my life because she has nothing of her own to do or take care of. I have to make a decision today, because I been blowing her off for like two weeks.

What would you do in this situation?

 Tags:

   Report

3 ANSWERS


  1. Wow thats deep,but once ur out ur out!


  2. Man...family! Try setting boundaries with her. You have to be very firm with relatives like this. I know from experience, trust me! Start out thanking her and letting her know you love and appreciate her, but then lay it out for her just like you did here. You made some very valid points, especially about the children. Let her know you will not tolerate ANY games like favoritism  or any other abuse of the kids. Let her know that If she can not agree, or she starts acting up again you will cut her out of your life. The main thing is to do it in a mature, firm, but loving way. She needs to respect you and your family. Period! This tactic worked for me, i hope it works for you.

    Good luck and Blessings

  3. I wouldn't let her in my life especially after the way she treated me and my kids.  

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 3 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.
Unanswered Questions