What would you do in this situation of divorce?

Question

My husband just filed for divorce. The house is in his name as primary (I'm secondary) and it needs a lot of work to put on the market. Houses around here are not selling for what they are worth (per the realitor). Our options are fix it up wait for it to sell and not make much of anything on the equity or he gave me the option to just refinance and take his name off the title so he doesn't have to fix it up and just leave. I crunched the numbers and can only have around $170 left over at the end of each month if I keep the house. Keep in mind he's leaving me with a 92 gmc safari to drive as well which at this point I'm sure is unreliable. The other option is to loose the house and move into an apartment and have about $400 left over which is only $230 difference from keeping the house.

The next dilema is my 18 yr old son that will be heart broken to leave the house he grew up in. I'm torn with selling and coming out a few extra dollars more or staying and just living to pay the actual bills. I feel guilty that my son has to possibly go through dealing with the loss of the home and I'm scared of just moving period. Do you think based on what I've posted that it would be best to sell or stay? Please help with advice to clear my head. I would call the attorney but she keeps charging me for every time I take to her. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.

No spousal support by the way. I already checked into that one.

Answer 1

We just tried to sell our home, and my advice to you is unless you would go in the hole badly every month you should stay, it will pay for itself later.  Rent, etc could still possibly cost you more, and as you say your son will be upset.  I'd let the husband leave, maybe later on you can get a room mate or find someone new.    

Answer 2

You might want to consider moonlighting, just for some extra funds.

Answer 3

Does your son plan on attending college nearby? your husband may have to make the house payments until he graduates from college.  then a judge will order it to be sold and the profit divided in half. I had a friend who lived in the same house for 32 years(her childhood and then she bought her parents out)  It was such a rundown mess from not being able to keep it up that she sold it and moved to a nice apartment and never looked back.  

Answer 4

Talk to your son, it's about him after all.  

Answer 5

Keep the house...the market will bounce back and the house will be a great investment.  In the meantime, get a roommate or a second job.  Your son is 18, can he get a job and help out?  It's all about sacrifice, for now.  You won't regret it...

Answer 6

Do NOT keep the house. My girlfriend did the same thing because her daughter whined that it was the only house she had ever known. She

ended up basically having to give the house away. She could not keep up with the rising taxes,maintenance, gardening etc. It basically

bankrupted her and she kept refinancing to maintain the place and lost all the equity. Your son will have to deal with the fact that things

change in life. Suggest to him that if he wants to keep the house he

get a job and start helping you pay some of the bills. I sorry to sound harsh but I know what my friend went through and it wasn't pretty.

She ended up ruining her credit to keep up a house that her daughter cheerfully abandoned once she found a boyfriend and moved out. Qit while you are ahead and get rid of the white elephant and start fresh. Your son will soon be out on his own and you will be left holding the bag.    

Answer 7

Keep the house you as a woman can find a man to help with the bills if you no what i mean give them a little and they will shell out the cash you don't have to move him in just have some fun with him/them, find lonely broken hearted ones maybe his wife cheated and left him for some one else they are  easy targets. Good luck and happy hunting girl.

Answer 8

If you'll only have $170 in disposable income each month by keeping the house, I think you should leave it.  You've noted that the home needs a lot of work.  You could find yourself in a really tough spot if major repairs are needed and you only have $170 a month to address them.  Think of major expenses that could come up such as replacing/repairing a heating & air unit or replacing the roof.  Based on the figures you've cited, I just don't think it would be a good idea to risk not being able to afford necessary repairs.  If you move into an apartment, the building owner will be responsible for such repairs and maintenance and you won't be out anything.  You can save the $400 you have left over each month for a healthy down payment on a home that you can afford.  As for your son, he is an adult at the age of 18.  It shouldn't be long before he leaves the home anyway.  He'll survive just fine if you move.

Answer 9

Are there any other options?  You didnt say how many bedrooms it is...could you rent one or two out to college students in your area?  

Is your l8 year old in high school? college?  going to be leaving home? working?  If he is working there is no reason he cant pay something towards the expensives of the house.  

You say the house needs alot of work, is it work you can do or even afford?  A house can be very expensive to maintain and keep.  It takes alot of time to keep up the yard and other things. It may be filled with memories but life goes on.  He will adjust.  

change can be scary and hard but it may be better for you and your son than having the house on your back.  

Divorce is an emotional meatgrinder.   Hang in there.  do what you have to do to take care of you.  

  

Answer 10

Sell the house and get an apartment.

The next item isn't a a problem. Don't feel guilty about doing what needs to be done. But, if you must stay for the sake of the boy, perhaps he can get a job and help you pay the bills. There is no need for you to just exist, just to pay bills, because you have some misplaced guilt about selling a home that your son likes.

Answer 11

Ok, in a year your son will be gone or working and paying you rent.I wouldn't sell the house(bad market) unless you offered to let your ex buy you out(win/win).Or rent a room out to a coworker.

Answer 12

the house is in both your names - there is no such thing as primary or secondary. You should sell the house or renegotiate your existing mortgage, since you cant afford to stay you are risking your credit doing anything else.  

Answer 13

Best to keep the house...The car is worthless...you are better sacrificng a little than moving to an appartment...You won't regret the space...try to maintain the house...put a list of things that needs to be done for upkeap and prioritize them...do them as you get money...Take Care

Answer 14

I don't know the full scope of your situation. I have been through a divorce as well and it wasn't pretty. But it all bowls down to Fight or Flight. You can fight for your relationship and make it work or run away from it. Most times lack of communication and poor money management are the root cause for a dissolving marriage. Sure you can divorce and go your way, but look at this economy, you and him are going to have to deal with allot when you are separated. I know this is not going to get me a best answer, but you have to get a grip on being stubborn. And give a little and realize that no matter what happened to make your relationship dissolve you bare some fault. It may not save this marriage but going forward you will at least know what 'you' have to work on to make your self a better person.

Good Luck