What would you do in this situtaion?

Question

I have three (3) boys, ages 12, 10 and 7 that all share a bedroom. (it's a large room). The 10 and 7 yr old want to paint the room and get rid of the train motif that I painted in there when the oldest was 2. The 12 yr old doesn't want to have the room painted. The 12 yr old is gone to camp this week and the other two have asked since he is gone, can we paint the room. Should I or shouldn't I since the oldest is against it? What would you do?

Answer 1

It isn`t a matter of importance for a 10 and 7 year old to have their room repainted and certainly not a matter of urgency. Wait till their brother comes back. That would be the right thing to do.

Answer 2

Oh, don't do that to the poor kid who isn't home!  He will feel betrayed.  

I would give them a week when the oldest returns to work out a plan amongst themselves.  Mediate if you have to but they should be able to work out a plan.  Can the room be divided into 3 separate areas for each to decorate?  Can they all agree on one theme?  Can they respect each other's choices?   There are a lot of solutions, but I think it is important for them all to have input.

Answer 3

I would wait till the oldest gets back and keep one wall with the train and have one wall per boy that they can paint and do whatever they want with that wall .So then everyone has their own wall and still get to keep the train .

Answer 4

Leave one wall how it is and the 12 year old can do whatever he wants with it when he gets back.

Answer 5

I'd wait till the boy is back and re-discuss the matter about painting the room. If her were to find the room painted in his absence, he might lose the trust he's placed in your and his brothers over the years. Though the room is being shared by the three and that majority want it painted, still being a family I think it'd be good to have a win-win solution.

Answer 6

1/2 room stays train the other 1/2 can get painted whatever the two boys want it to be.

Answer 7

I would wait until your oldest gets back, then have all three boys come to a mutual decision about the room.  If the oldest definitively wants to keep the room the way it is, compromise- have a wall from him and then decorate the rest of the room for the other 2 boys.  Don't do it while he is away- that would not be wise - he could lose respect for you.

Answer 8

Changes to a joint room require all involved to be present when to decide what to do.

Answer 9

Paint it , it needs it and it will help it look cleaner. When the 12yr old gets back let him pick out new bed covers and the theme for the room.

Answer 10

If it's a large room, maybe it's time to make it into two rooms... A bit costly, but the 12-year-old is getting to an age where his tolerance level for his younger siblings, is going to dwindle.

If the room is painted while he's gone, he'll resent his brothers, and you don't want that... However, majority normally rules... If you have to keep them all in the same room, then I'd do what another poster stated (not sure why they got a thumbs down), which is to keep half the room decorated as it is, and the other half can be what the younger two want.

Answer 11

get the older one his own room. he needs his space

Answer 12

Let them decide amongst them selves and pick a theme that they would all like

Answer 13

I would call the boy at camp & ask him if it is alright to paint the room-you see,he's at camp and he won't really care-that is if he likes camp