What would you do? (long, but please read)?

Question

I got a call from my best friends husband earlier today and he informed me that my friend slashed her arms last night, and now she has 13 staples in each arm, he was crying and I was trying to be there for him, but I was so upset, all I could do was cry as well. I want to make sure he knows that if he needs anything, me and my husband are here for him to lean on, but I don't want to hound him by calling him to much,so what would you do if you were me?

I am so angry and hurt by my friends actions, I just don't feel like myself and I am not sure how to act or be for the rest of the day. I want to see her, but they are only allowing her a visitor for an hour a day. I talked to her on the phone yesterday and she seemed fine! I am so confused...please help

Answer 1

Don't be upset. Be a friend. Maybe she did it as an act of attention, who knows. My suggestion, send a card, tell them sincerely that if there is anything you could do for them, not to hesitate to ask.

If you are true to your word, then do things like, stop by with some dinner (she probably wont be able to cook for a minute) or offer to do some house work. Point is: Just be there. Don't sit in Judgment, don't hold any grudges, what ever is going on, the last thing she or anyone needs right now is drama. There will come a time and a place for discussions, now is the time for understanding, compassion and love.

I too went thru something similar- everyone battles thier demons differently, just always remember not to become that what you are fighting.  

Answer 2

TEXT THE HUSBAND OR EMAIL THE HUSBAND TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU IN YOUR HUSBAND ARE THERE FOR HIM, RIGHT NOW YOUR FRIEND IS AT THE BEST PLACE FOR GETTING HELP.

Answer 3

I know that this is probably very hard on you. My best friend since birth(a cousin) started doing the same thing a while back. I know that you probably just want to help her yourself, but there is only so much one person can do. The best way to fight her anger/depression is for her to see a therapist. Only they can truly help, and I'm so sorry for your pain. Talk to her, calmly without any yelling, and say that you love her and no one could bear it if she did something serious to herself in the future. Say that in the long run, this will not take away her pain, and offer to take her to a good therapist. If she doesn't want to go alone or just doesn't want to go, offer for you or her husband to go with her, and make sure she knows that you are there for her 100%. Make sure that there is no yelling or interuptions during this conversation so that she realizes the gravity of the situation. I am so sorry that you all have to go through this.

Answer 4

Some people find it hard to ask for help during these times, you could try cooking a meal for the husband or if they have kids or pets you could offer to watch them or look after them. Or just ask him what, if anything, he needs you to help with right now. Thats all you can really do.

I can understand your feelings of frustration and confusion with your friend, but just understand that if she's suicidal she's most likely not in her right mind. Your friend needs help so you can't compare her to a normal sane person, even if she sounds fine now. Just be there for both of them and be supportive and non-judgemental.  

Answer 5

Just leave him a letter through his door and back away... if he needs anything he will ask

Answer 6

You just need to talk to the husband and tell him that you are there for him if he needs anything.  Then leave it at that.  If he needs you or would like for you to do something for them he knows that you are there and willing.  You have opened the door for him to use if he so chooses.  Then leave it at that so that you do not seem to be "hounding" him.  I am sure he is going through enough right now on his own.  

  As for your friend, you can be disappointed in her, but you still need to be there for her as well.  Maybe try to talk to her to see why she did it and what you can do to help.  Even if she sounded fine, she obviously is not.  She needs to know that there are people around her that love her for who she is.  Good Luck, that is a tough situation to be in, but remember it is tougher for your friend and her husband right now, so just be sympathetic.  

Answer 7

She probaly has mixed emotions about herself and her life so if I was you I would try to find out whats bothering her and be thre for her.