What would you do??!?!?

Question

so....

a while ago i accused my hubby of cheating because of a text message on his phone.. anyways he said he wasn't cheating and it was just a friends from work (blah blah blah...)

well lately he has been going on the computer when i go to bed. it wouldn't bother me..except he sits in the dark with the door closed (which makes me a little suspicious!)

last night i stayed up and snuck into the room while he was on the computer. i saw that he was talking with two people on msn, but he closed it as soon as i came in and pretended he was looking at air miles....

what should i do!?! i don't want to become some paranoid wife, but i just can't help being suspicious...

Answer 1

honestly, here's what you can do, use a tool called logmein. when he's working ont he computer use that tool and you can see exactly what he's doing using another computer. You will know for sure. Catch him red handed!

Answer 2

Oh.. I wouldn't worry at all. There is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about a man sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night and going into an enclosed room in the house to check his air miles.

Wake up!!

Answer 3

Find his passwords....check out all of his aliases..print a couple of them out and show him and then have an adult conversation about what you want and what he wants because if he is in contact on the internet in the dark of night...that cannot be good. I found texts on her phone...did my research and the whole thing untangled like a sprung slinky...only then did she start to tell the truth. Nip it now and save the relationship...be suspicious.

Answer 4

There is some kind of net nanny thing you can put on the computer.  He thinks he deletes the history, but it makes a back up for you.  A friend did that to her husband.  I am pretty sure it is called net nanny, google it and see.

Answer 5

I totally feel ya and sorry that this is going on.  It SUCKS I know, have been in the same sit and SORT OF still am.  But really, the only thing TO DO is just ask him to come clean.  And if that doesn't work I have no clue.  I hate to encourage the being sneaky part of trying to figure out what is up on your own, but I suppose if honesty doesn't work and you have to know...  

there are alot of people out there like us, bummer huh?!

Answer 6

No, it doesn't sound like you're being paranoid. I think you guys should find a time to talk about it, maybe ease into the subject with some small talk, then tell him that no matter what is going on he can tell you, and try not to explode or criticize right after he tells you. If he's doing something wrong, of course he needs to apologize and fix it, and most importantly tell you, but if you aren't understanding towards him he'll just learn next time that he can't tell you anything without being, essentially, punished for it. In fact, if you two can work this out, it could bring you closer. If he doesn't want to talk, just keep asking and sooner or later he will. It's very important to emphasize, I think, that no matter how "bad" he is he still deserves to have someone to understand and listen and talk to him. Try not to be judgemental: we are all human and fallible, and he is only acting on his natural instincts. This is not to forgive him, only to explain why he did what he did and understand that it is a completely natural thing to do. Otherwise he would not have done it.

Answer 7

Confront him and tell him how his sneakiness makes you feel!

Answer 8

Well if you want to be down and dirty you can install spy programs on the computer or just check his web history or the cookies chances are hes not smart enough to erase those and youll at least have a good idea of what websites hes been visiting.

Answer 9

Yu will have to confront him and give him an ultimatum, he either comes clean or you kick him to the curve.