What would you do/think?

Question

We've been friends since high school. We're 21 & in college now. I stayed in town; she moved. She responds to my emails after about 2 months. She didn't reply to my text and vm back in Feb. I asked her about it in June. She denied ever getting them; I checked my t-mobile account and I had the right number. I apologized and asked her what was wrong over facebook. It's been over a week and no response. Even though I no she's been on facebook. But yesterday evening I recieved an invite on facebook to go to her good-bye party going to study abroad in Spain in Aug. She invited about 150 people.

Answer 1

Friends come and go, especially at this age - you leave the ones from school and meet new ones at college or work.  Some friendships last and some don't and some cool off for years and then pep back up again when you get much older.

Don't be too upset about her - she's off to Spain, probably busy getting excited about it and forgetting to reply to people and keep in touch (I do it too sometimes - occasionally only getting in touch with very good friends every 6 months or even longer).

I had school friends, then college friends, then work friends from jobs No 1, 2, 3, etc and baby friends from when I had kids and friends from the kids school and then friends from just meeting new people in the places I've moved to over the years..................and I probably only keep in touch with about 5% of them now.  It's just the way it goes unless you're willing to spend about 3 hours each night writing to everyone and keeping in touch (that's what 'friends reunited' is for in 10 years time!)

But a party's a party - I'd go and have a good time, say bye to her, hopefully meet some new people and drink the bar dry!

Have a good time at the party and don't be too upset about your friend.

Answer 2

Let it go, meaning the friendship, if that's even what it is.  If she tries to rekindle it in the future, fine.

And I think she invited you to the party to try to get a going-away gift from you.  Tacky.  I wouldn't go.

Answer 3

She doesn't put you high up on her scale of friends to communicate with.  She invited you to her party so should go if you want and have a good time.  Meet other people.  You're 21.  Since she doesn't respond to you in a timely manner let it go and stop communicating-if that's what you want to do.  Asking her what's wrong-you know what's wrong she doesn't care about your feelings.

Also since she had 150 people to invite she's probably swamped with e-mail.  Maybe yours did get lost among her e-mails.  If I were you I wouldn't communicate with her anymore.  I don't like being ignored.

Answer 4

I would think you are on her list of top 150 friends. And she is looking forward to gifts from all of them. Time to move on, sometimes friendships take a break and are rekindled years later.

Answer 5

i've had EXACTLY the same experience with friends from high school. it sucks but it pretty much boils down to her not caring as much as you do/ as she used to.

to be honest, it's just best to ignore it/ give it up and if she makes a conscious effort in the future, maybe you can try and rekindle your relationship. it's all about mutual respect.

about the party though, if you don't think she'll give you the time of day, don't bother.

Answer 6

You are not a priority for her.  Unfortunately friendships fade as people become adults and have responsibilities.  True friendships never fade but this one probably wasn't meant to last a lifetime.

Answer 7

If there will be other people there that you want to see go and hangout and have fun for you!!!!  If there isn't going to be anyone there that you really care to hang out with, blow it off.  You owe her nothing!

Answer 8

Honestly, she's probably just been really busy trying to organize things for her trip to Spain.  It's a lot of work to get that sort of thing set to go.  You did receive an invitation to attend her going away party so that has to count for something.

I was (still am) really good friends with a guy I've known since grade 5.  I moved away in grade 7.  We kinda lost touch for a little while.  He graduated and went to korea.  Despite the distance and such we still, to this day, keep in touch.  It might go a couple of months before we hear from each other but we don't hold it against one another.  I guess we just have a unspoken understanding that life can get busy.

Answer 9

People drift apart.

Go if you want to, but don't if you don't.

No big deal.

Answer 10

I would think you've grown apart.  You're clinging to the friendship, while she seems pre-occupied with other things.  If you are able to go to her party, I would and honestly wish her well in Spain.  Please don't feel any malice toward her.  She may rekindle the friendship some years down the road.