What would you do when invited to shortly planned wedding? ?

Question

A friend called me on 11th and invited me to her wedding on the 31st aug,2008. She said she started planning it towards the end of July.

No invitations, etc. My money is already bugdeted for month!

What should I wear, seeing that she could not take the time to properly invite persons?

Should carry a gift immediately, if at all?

Answer 1

borrow from yourself and adjust next month's budget accordingly? you also don't have to go

Answer 2

see if you have anything appropriate to wear and you can send a gift later.

Answer 3

try to see if you have anythin appropriate 4 the wedding. some nice dress would do it....u cant look betta than the bride! dont' go cheap but dont go expensive. get something nice but in ur budget. ex. plates!! a crystal bowl, linens.  

Answer 4

Your friend should needs to understand that not everyone is going to be able to make it on such short notice. You don't have to go. If she's a true friend, she'll understand.  

Answer 5

Assuming you live in the same town, there really isn't any reason for you not to go. Just wear something you already own; as long as you're not dressed super casual, you'll be fine. As for a gift, you don't need to get her one, but I would at least bring a card. If you would prefer to get her a gift later, that would be fine, too.

If you don't live in the same town, it would be fine to not go if you'd have trouble arranging transportation and time off. Just phone your friend to let her know, and send her a card now or a gift later.

Answer 6

You can always send the gift after the wedding. :)

Answer 7

You sound quite uptight and anal. People all have different personalities. Not all are good planners. Do you want to ruin yall's friendship or hurt her because she doesn't do things properly? It is always better to try to be versatile. Try not to be so uptight when things don't go correctly. That is being very rigid.

Now, if you can't go, at least send her a card and gift even if it is late. I bought a friend who did the same thing to me a $15 gift and that included tax, wrapping paper, and card. I couldn't attend the ceremony, though. I have been broke before and was able to attend a wedding; however, I couldn't afford a gift. Brides have so much on them that they can't remember who got them a gift or not. My advice is to not be so hard on her and do your best to go. Or, call her in advance and tell her you can't go because you don't have anything to wear and that you will send her a gift as soon as you can.  

Answer 8

if you go you can pretty much wear whatever a cute sundress, and spend i guess what you can

Answer 9

i would offer to help, setup, takedown, cooking, etc.

according to most etiquette guides you have up to a year to MAIL the gift to the bride's home, but i would do it within 2 months.

please don't bring gifts to the reception.  it is bad manners and a pain in the azz to get someone to take the gifts home.

Answer 10

you don't have to go, you're never obligated to go.  If you let her know it's short notice and you don't think you can make it that should do.

Also, according to ettiquette a gift is NEVER required.  It is an optional gesture.

I can understand not being able to afford invitations. Maybe you could recommend that she go to www.theknot.com and send email invitations from there.  Perfectly free, she can set up a website and let people RSVP there.

EDIT: you don't have to have a dress, do you have a black skirt? or dress pants?  a nice top?  You can just use that.  Or try the local goodwill or Value Village or consignment stores.  You can find some nice stuff at those places very cheap sometimes (I've found some GORGEOUS dresses for $5 - $10 before)

Answer 11

the way she invited you should have nothing to do with what you wear. find a nice skirt or a "little black dress" and that will do. im sure she is registered somewhere, check that and spend around $20. skip going out t eat or starbucks a couple of times.

Answer 12

Wow, last minute wedding!  I'd just wear a pretty dress or a pants suit that you already own, and get her a gift card at a store like Bed Bath and Beyond or Walmart.

If it's a last minute wedding, no wonder she didn't send you a "proper" invitation, because those have to be custom ordered and take a few weeks to come in.  Maybe she figured calling people would be easier (and cost less due to postage costs) than buying blank invitations and filling them all out by hand.

Don't be insulted, especially if you don't know the reason for the quick nuptials. I've had two cousins get married lickity split, one because she got pregnant, and the other because it just happened that his fiancee (who was Russian) was able to get her visa to come to the US during the same time when he was getting his R&R from Iraq.

Answer 13

You don't have to go. If you want people to come to a party, wedding, etc. that's what invitations are for. She has to have an understanding that a last minute invite might result in some guests not showing up. If you can make it, do go, but don't put yourself out financially for something that most people take time to plan for at least 2 or more months in advance. You can always decline invite but send her a gift card or put money in a card, next month. Good luck.

Answer 14

As others have said, the gift can be sent later.

As for what you should wear, the fact that you were invited this late does not change what you should wear, chose what you would pick for any other wedding in a similar venue.