What would you do with this situation?

Question

My husband is an alcoholic. I am not being subjective. He drinks often, and lately binges to the point that he just stumbles around unable to do anything but walk and stare. It is escalating rather rapidly. He still has his job, but we fight over the way he treats me regularly. He gets mean and then expects me to forget it in the morning.

He knows that he has a drinking problem. He says that he can quit. But he can't. He has been totally drunk 3 nights in the past week and drank 6 out of 7 days. The other day he just laid in bed with a hangover most of the day.

He is hurting our marriage now. I am not mad. And I know I can't force him to do anything. BUT...I would like to save this marriage if possible.

He currently is mad at me for avoiding him drunk all weekend. He went to bed at 630pm.

What would you do? Details matter. Suggestions matter.

Answer 1

You don't mention in what part of the world you live. If you live in Canada or the US check the link below. Al-anon is a support network for alcoholics and the families of alcoholics.  Addictions are virtually impossible to resolve without help. And it is always best if the help is provided to the entire family. Even if your husband never gets the help that he appears to need, organizations such as Al-anon can help you to navigate the ordeal with much less emotional damage.

Addictions take a toll on many more people than just the addict.  Friends, family and loved ones often pay a price too.  Work on looking after your self first, by getting the support you need. Then you can help you husband to do what he needs to do.

Good luck to you.  I know first hand how tough this is for you!

Answer 2

seek help in your state AAA. and try counseling. good luck

http://alcoholism.about.com/I was having a problem with alcohol and found that depression had a lot to do with it, I still drink on occasion but I did seek help to find the root of my problem. good luck.

Answer 3

You don't say whether or not you have children..my guess is that it is just you and your husband.  I'm surprised with the way he has been drinking that he's still holding a job.  I think that you need to have a talk with your husband, tell him how much his drinking upsets you, that you hate what it is doing to him, and your relationship,  that you love him and want to save your marriage.  He says he can stop, but the alcohol has a hold on him that he can't control.  You need to seek help.  Make an appointment with a marriage counselor, ask him to go..if he chooses not to, then go alone.  The counselor could try to get your husband involved in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)  You could attend Ala-non (Meetings for family and friends of alcoholics) as well.  Both of these groups should have listings in the phone book, find one close to you.  This is a problem that you really need the help and support of others..it's too great to handle alone.

Answer 4

Please check out Alcoholics Anonymous. They can tell you the steps to take in this situation, and offer you and your family counseling. He will have to take the first steps in admitting he has a problem, but you can arrange an intervention with a few close friends to help him acknowledge his problem. Alcoholism is a disease, and I doubt if he will be able to stop without help. Good luck.