What would you have done to be a better friend?

Question

for ten years, i was best friends with a woman who i thought reciprocated her friendship likewise.

prior to this and a while back, i called her (long-distance) every day for a month to check on her during her deep depression. (daughter passing) i called to show her i cared and to let her know i was there for her even though i was in another state. she eventually got a lot better. we continued to remain friends.

then one day, i called to see how she was doing. she told me she didn't want me to call her anymore nor remain friends. my friend said she would always appreciate me being there for her and so forth. i went into shock and right away a tear fell down my cheek. i asked her why. she said it was because she was Baptist and i was Catholic. please know i never pressured, nor tried to change her to switch to my denomination. i have only shown kindness to my friend and a deep affection as i do towards everyone.

i look back now and wonder if i could have done more regarding our friendship. i just don't know.

what do you think?

love ya

{{{hugs}}}

Answer 1

One thing I have learned is that you do not have to be friends with someone your entire life.  What I mean is that people grow, mature and are different.  It's ok that she no longer wants to be friends with you. This doesn't mean that you are a bad person you two are just evolving in different ways and at least she was courteous enough to tell you so you wouldn't be wondering.  Although I realize that it does not stop the hurt.

It seems as if you made every effort to support her and be her friend.  She can either accept it, which she did for a while, or reject it, which she has done. It is her choice.  Be grateful for the friendship you had.  

One thing I would like to mention is that you need to be careful.  See the way to end your question?  "love ya...hugs"  who is that to?  Complete strangers.  I am just wondering if you are being sincere with her or maybe a bit pushy.  You may not mean to come on that way but sometimes, unfortunately that is the way it is taken.

Today I went to visit a friend who I know is  going thru a hard time.  I sent her an e-mail to tell her I may drop by but she wasn't home.  Was she not home purposely?  I don't know, but I did offer her a listening ear and friendship.  It is up to her whether or not she wants it.    I know that she is having a hard time dealing with family, illness and the church right now because of being hurt so I try to not say anything about church/denomination/ or religion.  It's not for me to make her better.  I  pray for her and let the Lord fix things in her life.  That is what he wants to do.

Could you have done more?  I think what you did was your best that you could offer.  Don't have any regrets about things.  You need to realize that people change and that is ok.   It opens doors up for you to develop other friendships and continuously grow.

Answer 2

It is a pity when ppl use religion as an excuse.........move on.........one day she will realize her mistake.

Answer 3

Be proud that you did good by her. That she can't be appropriately appreciative, isn't your fault. You made it easier for her to take the next step. Good for you. You would be my true friend any day.