What would you say if your husband came straight out and told you his mom was a better cook than you?

Question

He also tells me that, "That was okay, but do -this or this- next time" (Like, seasoning differently or cooking his sunny-side up eggs longer so they aren't "snotty".) He doesn't understand that these comments are really hurtful and rude, especially towards his wife. Also, if we stay with one of his female family members he talks about how he's looking forward to them cooking breakfast because everyone on his moms side "Cooks sooo good" but when I cook breakfast he either says he's sick or not hungry 9/10. Everyone else says I'm a good cook, and not to toot my own horn, so to speak, but I do, too.. but obviously his mother is better, considering she's been cooking for 30+ years and I'm only 26.

Answer 1

Well, I may have a bit of a unique perspective on this one, Courtney..

I've been a husband for 28+ years AND I also do most of the cooking in our house.  My wife complains all the time that ::I:: am a better chef than her, and that's not true.  It's just that I do it more, she's a top-level baker.

But... a couple of things.

First, your husband needs some people skills if he really wants to stay happily married.  OK, so maybe mom is a great cook, terrific.  But, he should encourage you, not criticize.

And second, you can either get yourself hurt, or you can take him down.   And by take him down, I don't mean kicking his butt, I mean blowing his mind.  Find yourself some cooking classes, learn from your friends, whatever.  Experiment and learn.   Find your style.

I've always enjoyed cooking, and I was pretty good when I was your age, but I am DAMNED good now,and it's all experience and experimenting.   Hey, why not a cooking vacation sometime?  You and hubby go to a cooking school somewhere for a week, maybe in Provence or something cool like that?

OK, closer to home, I suggest getting yourself onto the newsgroup rec.food.recipes.  It's an excellent place to find and exchange cooking info and recipes.

Don't get your feelings hurt, dear.  Make up your mind to make him eat his words.

John Jones, M.D.

Answer 2

When I married,  I was very very young and couldn't even boil an egg..I really mean that ! my husband showed me how to to do the perfect boiled egg ..40 yrs later I can cook after having my family and my husband never leave the table without saying " that was a lovely meal "

If my husband talked to me the way your husbands does , I would tell him to go to his mother for his food and I would not cook anything for him until he got some manners.

There is one thing I know I can't cook like his mother did and that's apple tart...no matter how often I tried I never got it the way she did..but that's ok :)

Answer 3

im not married but if that happend ill ask his mom to help me with the cooking. then you wont get sad or enything.

my dad taught my mom how to cook =P

Answer 4

I would tell him from now on, his mom can feed him and I would make meals just for myself.  

Answer 5

i would knock his light out and make him cook for himself.

my husband ever tell me that i will kick where he would hurt

Answer 6

put extra chillies in the food next time so its extra hot or tell him to do it himself, you are trying your best!!

Answer 7

Just work on your cooking skills hon.I don't think he MEANS to hurt your feelings, but if your cooking isn't that good then all I can say is:

"would YOU want to eat food that didn't agree with you 'til death do you part?"

Call his mom and ask him how she cooks this or cooks that.Once you get the knack of it, he will be breagging on you and he will forget about his mother's cooking.

I had to teach several women how to cook.I learned from my mom, and they told me I cooked better than they did and better than their mothers.It isn't that I am a great cook,it was that my mother was and I learned from one of the best.

Answer 8

Well my first reaction would be "then go live with your mom and maybe she can wipe your butt as well" LOL

Honestly my mother in law is an awesome cook so I would have to agree. But it is rude to say to your wife. My husband is a wonderful cook as well, he inherited his mothers talent. However when I cook I do not want to be criticized or advised how to do it differently. He use to advise on seasonings as well. I finally told him how much it hurt my feelings and regardless if he meant it that way or not I did not want to hear it. He still tries on occasion and I simply say "if you want to cook this go ahead, if not I am cooking so leave it alone" and he does not say anymore. He has always ate everything I cooked though even some I would not LOL He does most of the cooking in our house by the way so I do try and listen because honestly he knows what he is talking about but it still gets old at times.

He sounds like he is putting you down a lot and that is not acceptable for a husband and wife to do to each other. You need to confront him on this and tell him you will no longer tolerate the behavior or the comments. If he still continues I would quit cooking for him, seriously.

Answer 9

Tell him to go back and live with his mother. That is so rude, considering you are only 26. You will become better as time goes by. You know, more experience. Or you can tell him to cook his own meals. Or don't cook. That way he will have no choice but to cook or go to Mom's.

Answer 10

Ok you want your sunny side eggs not " snotty put a lid on them and lower the flame. 26 is hard and marriage is harder when he says such things embarrass him back like say Well I may not be good in the kitchen but there's no one like me in the bedroom or that I didn't get married to cook and clean.

Hang tough  

Answer 11

Seriously kid, and this is coming from a guy. Tell him to go eat at him mommy's house and while he's at it she can do his laundry too.

What he's doing is wrong and you should not have to put up with it.

Answer 12

Well, I am married and I know that my mother-in-law is a better cook than me.  My husband would never insult me about it though...have you told him that his comments hurt your feelings?  Tell him that you are doing the best you can, and you are still learning.  If my husband doesn't like how I cook something...I usually say that he can cook it the next time.  & he usually does.  I know that he is also a better cook than me.  I am no chef, so it really doesn't bother me if everyone else cooks better than me, but your husband should not insult you about it.