What would you say to Mother/Sister who want you to do something

Question

It is my bother in laws 50th birthday. He is not having a party. My sister and Mother thought it would be a good idea to get him a present because we got my other brother in law a present for his 50th. The thing is, I know that they will want me to go out and buy it, as they trust me and my taste and my sister has twins and finds it hard to get around and Mum has not such good taste. Do you think because they thought of it they should go to the effort to get it? I don't go to the shops much, especially the big department stores, but they think that because I work from home and have a bit of free time it's OK. What can I say to turn them down as I just know they will ask. I went to a lot of effort to get the last present for my other brother on law - I think it's their turn.

Answer 1

Here is what I would say, "Wow, when I picked out "John's" 50th birthday present I had a lot of trouble deciding. Do you think we could go together sometime or you could show me a good idea on the internet?" This way you will have help and it will be a lot faster. Since it is her husband, she knows best what he would like!!! Also, no one will have to be the one all on their own.

Answer 2

"That's really nice you think I'm trustworthy but I am way too busy right now.  I really don't go out a lot anymore because I'm too busy working.  Is there someone who can watch the twins because I'm sure (sister) he'd appreciate the gift more if it came from you.  Thanks for offering though; I just can't"

Answer 3

I sense a mooch here!  Are they sticking you with the bill for the whole present, or are they giving you some money to cover both their share of the present PLUS gas and time getting it?

This might be more a problem of enforcing boundaries. Just learn to tell them that you have a full schedule this week, and to please try to pick out something that is affordable for the 3 of you to share the expense of. Give them a cap on spending.

Whatever happened to gift cards? If he collects tools, there is always Sears Hardware, Northern Tools, Home Depot and Lowe's. You get the idea.

Answer 4

I would say ok what is the price limit and give me some ideas.  If you dont like what I pick out then you cnat say anything agreed?   On the other hand you could say well this time I  think we all need to go together since it is his 50th B-day.  By the way it is my B-day today and I got a gift from my mom and thats it.  I have 2 siblings and a dad.  Dad didnt even tell me happy B-day today when I saw him.   Sad isnt it?  Oh well I am all grown up and understand life isnt all happiness.