What would you say to a friend that?

Question

wanted to leave her husband, because she feels lonely and like he doesn't pay her enough attention. He is otherwise a wonderful husband. I know that she has talked to him about how she feels, but she says that it is just the way that he is, and that he wont change. I am concerned about her and what she says that her marriage lacks. I know that her husband is a great man, and I think that if she leaves him for someone else, she may realize that no one will ever be a "perfect" match. So as her friend should I tell her what I think, or just go along with what she does. I want her to feel like her feelings are important, but I also want her to realize what she is saying. God Bless

Answer 1

I would expect my friend to point out the pro's and con's of making a serious move such as this. Of course when times are bad, we all look at the negative, it's human nature. But, as a friend, I think it's your duty to tell her how you feel about this. She may only be seeing the negative and may not be able to find the positive in any of this right now. Maybe you could do some research and give her statistics and other information to help her make a decision. Remind her that she promised forever to this man and that bowing out in the worst of times is not what God intended. It sounds like if she lowers her expectations a bit there will still be a chance for happiness. Try to help her find it and if she still insists on leaving, be there for her no matter what. She'll need you whether she leaves or not, she sounds a little insecure and seems like she is having a hard time finding happiness within herself, which is required in order to find it within others. Good Luck!

Answer 2

well let her do wat she wants and if she messes up then tell her its going to be ok!

Answer 3

give her your opnion in a gentle non-judging way. but let her do what she thinks is best for herself. maybe there is more to it than you know. but let her know you'll support whatever decision she makes.

Answer 4

I think you should tell her what you think.  It might just be a stage she is going through.  She might need to find some things in her life to make her happy, and try to do more romantic things with her husband to try and rekindle the love they had. You are right the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

You sound like a great friend, and she is lucky to have you.  

Answer 5

idk

Answer 6

a true friend would speak her mind so tell your friend what you think and ask her what the real reason for her doubting her husband is? maybe something else is bothering her so shes using her husband as an excuse/escaping from what really is bothering her? alot of men work hard resulting in you hardly seeing them, but they work hard for us so its not fair to say there not there for us when in fact they are just not as much as they would like as work takes up most of there time, my hubby works hard and i understand that fully and dnt moan that hes not paying me attention as the poor sods knakered when he gets home! after all hes knackerd as a result of working hard to make our life easier so the least we can do is respect that and be there for them :)  

Answer 7

Just listen. Never give advise on these matters.

Answer 8

If she is wanting to leave for this reason, she must not Love him.  There is nothing you can do.  xox

Answer 9

Be honest with her. Ask her if her if she felt this way when they first got together chances are she didn't because she wouldn't have married him. Then let her know it will be the same way when she gets with someone else people men and women get comfortable and forget to do the small things they did when they get married it's just the way we are tell her to just light a fire under his butt every now and then to get him to do some of the things he use to. That's what I do.

Answer 10

More than her talking to him, have you talked to her? If he is a wonderful husband, and only has one flaw, I really don't think she should leave him. I think you should talk to her. Maybe, just maybe, its not her husband that is upsetting her. Maybe, she is lonely in other aspects, like not having enough other companions and not getting FULL attention from her husband is making her feel that way. I just suggest talking to her about it. Good luck!

Answer 11

I thought you were her friend! It is so funny how friends always side with the husbands! until you walk in her shoes then i would not judge your friend or even call yourself her friend cause if you were you would be listening to your friend instead of judging her actions! Trust me not everyone knows the real reason people say that they are unhappy there might be more to what she saying in the house! you are not the one that is married to him she is! My husband is very nice to me when my friends are around and trust me he is a monster when we are alone do I tell people nope i keep it to myself! So you need to be more a friend to her then him!  

Answer 12

Be honest and tell her your thoughts about the situation,and possibly recommend counseling for herself and/or husband.The grass isn't,always greener on the other side of the fence.She could end up with someone far worst,your friend should consider finding a hobby or volunteering somewhere to help remove her feelings of loneliness.

Answer 13

Tell your friend what you think, but also let her know that you will stand by her no matter what she decides to do. Have they tried marriage counseling? That might help, unless she has already met someone (hopefully not).

Answer 14

You may think that he is a great man, but you don't live with him.  She sees how is everyday.  I explain to her how you feel but state that its her life and you will support her 100 percent.