Question:

What would you say to the neighbor kid?

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"Kim" (9) from next door and mine (7) are friends and get along well. Kim and one of HER friends from school came over and asked mine to ride bikes. Mine went out and I watched from the house as the two ignored mine, chatted w/each other, then went back into Kim's house, w/out a word to mine. Of course mine felt stupid and continue to ride her scooter for a few more minutes. Then I went out w/her once I realized they had ditched her. I know these things happen at school, but this was on our own turf. I usually let the kids work things out themselves, but this was different; it's almost like they called her out there just to step all over her. Mine isn't perfect, but she would never do that. We don't play that game and treat our friends w/respect. Plus, Kim has done similar things, so I feel like she used this oppotunity to "show off" , at my childs expense. I want them to remain freinds, but on equal terms. I fully plan on saying something to Kim...what would you say?

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  1. if your child didn't get upset this time.. I'd not say anything ...but wait and watch VERy close the next time so that you can "catch" it while it happens.. and at that time speak up and let the other child know that, if she wants to be friends with your daughter that she has to play nice, and thatfriends dont treat friends that way, ect.


  2. I wouldn't speak straight to the child!!!! I would talk to the parent! And not by talking down! Just a friendly there seems to be some unfairness going on between our children and my daughter was feeling hurt and left out. I want them to remain friends blah blah blah....and then the parent can talk to lil miss priss kim and then they can work it out! if Kim ever comes over again you can maybe mention playing fair and being nice to each other. but i would just call her out and get on to her about without the parent at least there!

    You may want to talk with you daughter about staying included too. Is she shy at all? Reading your story made my heart hurt for her! :( How sad for her to just keep riding all alone :( did you cry?! Cause I don't even know the poor thing and I wanna.........

  3. I would tell her that I didnt appreciate how she treated my daughter.  That friends don't treat other friends this way.  But first you get her mother over there with you while you discuss it. You don't have to tell her what it is about just tell her you want to talk to both girls and her together about something. Explain what you saw and how it made you feel. Then let your daughter tell how it made her feel.   Ask for an apology. Tell her if it continues, then they will no longer be allowed to play together.

  4. first of all: don't make a bigger deal of this than it has to be

    second: if that's the way kim wants to be your daughter doesn't need a friend like that.  if she keeps it up, they will probably just drift apart

  5. nothing! I have three daughters-16,15, and 5. Use this as an example of how not to treat people and then let it go. Let the kids work it out and your daughter make a decision about her friendship with the girl. You will make it worse if you step in. Stay out of the kid stuff unless it's dangerous or gets to be bullying.

  6. I would not say anything because she is only nine and would be very upset she might cry because it hurts a child more when someone elses parent tries to repremend them and it would most likley just cause drama between you and kims own mother.I know that seing your daughter imbarresed was hard to watch but you must understand from when you were a kid that children can hate each other one day and be best friends the next.I would want to say something too but I would have to hold my tounge because all children do hurtful things to one another.I am sure your daughter is doing just fine and will have her own way to say something to that mean girl kim.

  7. idk what i would say to the neighbors kid, but maybe your child shouldnt hang out with her as often. This way they can still be friends but then the neighbor might realize that your child doesnt like they way she has been being treated and the actions and attitude might change...sorry for not being a big help these kind of things are hard.

  8. Don't do anything.

    This isn't going to damage your child forever. She'll get over it. It's usually the parents who keep it going on.

    The girls will work it out for themselves. Your daughter will HATE it if you step in. She can handle herself.

    And why would you want your daughter to be friends with "Kim" if this has happened before?

    Honestly, just leave it alone. If it turns serious step in, but this is just a bunch of pre-pubescent girls figuring out the hierarchy, which is hurtful, but natural.

    I bet your child won't even remember this in a few years.

    EDIT: When I was ten, I was being babysat by my friend's family after school. My friend "Annie" was a brat. She even bit me once. I said nothing because I had no where else to go.

    Annie and I would constantly argue. Over toys, the TV, etc. etc. One day, Annie's grandmother sat us down to talk about being good friends, etc. etc. Well, the next day afterschool, I refused to turn the TV and Annie said I was a bad friend and we got into another fight. So, we got another talk. This happened over and over until her grandma and my dad just said "Enough!"

    Well, we had two more fights. Her grandma and my dad didn't interviene, we made up, and have been friends for *cough* years.

    EDIT: To whoever thumbed me down, you need to take a breather. This is petty child things, and will only get worse as time goes on. To step in now, you need to step in everytime something goes wrong with another girl (1,000,000 or more times).

    THIS WILL BE FINE.

  9. It is because she had a Friend over. I don't think she did it on purpose. That has happened to me before i had a Friend my age over my house and we invited a younger kid and we completely ignore him and don't even realize it.

  10. I wouldn't say anything to Kim. I would use this opportunity to speak to my child about how not to treat people and use it as a way to teach my child an important lesson. You going over and saying something to the neighbor girl will only cause more trouble for your child. Teach her how to be the bigger person and act like she doesn't care. For all you know she may not have cared. maybe she felt awkward around the girls other friend and was glad they went in. I mean you are really just basing going over there on your assumtions about how it made your daughter feel.

    Next time the girl comes over to play with your child you can make a little comment such as "are you sure you won't ditch her this time?" and then smile like you were joking with her. She'll get the point.

    Girls can be so caddy and this is the time to teach your child NOT to be part of it and by going over there and chewing out a 9 yr old, you would not be setting the best example. Don't make a huge deal of it, this is how girls end up turning little things into huge deals.

  11. I would prolly just tell Kim's mom what went on that day.  And then maybe they can work it out.  Hey I'm not really good at this sorta thing.  Just a suggestion.

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