What would you think/do if....?

Question

a young adult that is normally really quiet & reserved & never rude to anyone told you they were having a hard time. That they were angry all the time & they had bad thoughts about people like ignoring them in their head. They also told you that people were disrespecting them and when you asked that yes you are one of those people. They said something along the lines that you don't treat everyone the same. They also said that they see the bad in everything. They said that there a rude & bad person. You tried to encourage them but they just refute it.

You know from this person's family (they don't know that you know) that they are clinically depressed & under the care of mental health doctors. Also, they're having family problems as well, but they didn't mention any of this.

Answer 1

This sounds like me..

So I would want you to at least try and make a genuine effort. But don't overact, because it'll seem obvious that you just feel pity towards them. Just try and listen to the person and confide in them. That's all they need really.. a shoulder to lean on. Someone who genuinely cares, and is willing to listen. During conversations, if they say something, make sure that you listen to what they say, even if it's irrelevant, or even if no one else does. Just try and make them feel less "invisible", and show them that the whole world is not as terrible as it seems.

And the thing about 'seeing the bad in everything' is not so simple to overcome, trust me. But if they are receiving help from specialists, then you shouldn't worry so much about this at the moment.

I am sure this person is feeling useless and unworthy, so even if you did offer the support, they are likely to decline it. This is 'normal', so don't be too alarmed. Just take it slowly. You're going to need to have a lot of patience with this person, so be sure that you don't get too frustrated and flee right away, as this will make them feel worse, and may lead them to believe that they are even more 'rude' and 'bad' for pushing you away. Try and be a genuine 'friend' to them, rather than an on-looker who just wants to know what's wrong.

Surely they have some sort of trust in you -small as it may be-, if they confided in you about this problem.

So just take it slowly, and let them know that you really care.

Hope it goes well for the both of you. x

Answer 2

well first off i would start treating them better and with more respect. they told you they way you treat them bothers them, change it

Answer 3

nothing and keep on their good side

Answer 4

Hope he/she doesn't go shoot up a mall or something.  This could be a ticking time-bomb waiting to happen.  I really hope the doctors are doing their job well.

Answer 5

just be supportive to the person.  Not overly supportive though because they will think it is a false action.  Some people are just so upset with the way things are going that they only see the bad in everything... only they can change their way of thinking.

Answer 6

Because they are clinically depressed, can you put much stock in the way they are thinking for you to change anything about yourself? Not much I believe you can do except to keep talking to this person. They are trying in their on way to open up to you. Sometimes just listening is the key. Through listening you can see their thoughts and maybe you can help to diffuse a very dangerous situation. I have always been told, it is the quiet ones you have to watch out for.