What would you think if this happened to your baby at his first day at daycare?...?

Question

my 5 month old son started his 1st day of a home daycare. i do not know if i am just being paranoid here or if i should take these as signs. first, my son has a red mark on the top of his head, size of a quarter, he also has scratches on his neck, inner leg, butt, and on the lower side of his face. i know this because he never gets scratches at home with me unless his nails are growing he might give himself one on his nose. could the kids at daycare with him done that? these scratches aren't deep but i just wonder... also, she didn't have anything packed for me, she knew the time i was coming too. i left behind a teether, a new toy of his, a bottle, and a little sports bag with his extra clothes and bibs. i don't want to be overreacting here, so i just want to know what other moms would think.. because i know i worried about him. (the scratches arent huge, like small fingernail scratches. when i checked her out, she had good references that she gave me, but i am starting to wonder.)

Answer 1

if it was me , i would change daycares , asap. granted children are going to come home with a scratch or bump, but the way you are describing , sounds to me like he wasnt watched very carefully , or the other children for that matter.  and if she knows that you are coming at a certain time , she should have your stuff ready to go . it dont take that long .

the daycare my son is at , i couldnt ask for better . his stuff is ready for me , so all i gotta do is grab and go . the last thing i want to do after working all day is stand there waiting . i want to go home and play with my son . and yes he has had bumps , scratches , but they can tell each and every time what happened , which isnt all that often . good luck to you . there are good daycares out there .  

Answer 2

What you just described is one of the reasons I would move haven and earth not to put my child in any kind of daycare.  There is no substitute for mommy care, and you will never know what happens when you are not there.

Answer 3

That's one of the reasons why I hope and pray to GOD that I don't have to put my child in daycare! I would definitely ask without hesitation! That is your baby and you have a RIGHT to ask anything you want...if she has a problem with that then you need to find a new sitter.

Answer 4

I have been a licensed child care provider in my home for almost 21 years.  I am also a mom to 4, ages 29, 26, 23, and 11 (the oldest 2 went to daycare).  The one thing that is most important when it comes to parent/child/provider relationships is open communication.  If you have concerns about things then you should talk to her about them.  There may be reasonable explanations for the marks on your son.  At your home your son has no exposure to any one but his parents.  At daycare he will be surrounded by other little ones who are quite interested in him because he is new and he is a baby.  Whenever I get a new baby, the other children flock around him/her and want to touch him and love on him.  It's natural.  We work very hard on learning appropriate places to touch babies (arms, shoulders, and legs) and what it means to be gentle.  However, no matter how hard you try, sometimes a bump or a scratch happens when another little one gets too close or tries to be loving by "sharing" a toy.  You are right to be concerned, but you should be talking directly to your care provider.  Don't be accussing in your tone, but simply say, "I noticed a red mark on my son's head plus a few scratches on his body.  Did something happen that I should be aware of?"  Some of my parents want an explanation for every single mark and I am happy to oblige, but most parents understand that things happen and bumps, bruises, scratches, and scrapes are just part of being a child.  As far as having things packed, I can tell you that we don't sit around all day watching the clock waiting for parents to return.  It is a busy job caring for little ones all day with no breaks.  Sometimes parents show up and we don't know where the time has gone or it's been a day filled with crabby children and we just haven't gotten around yet to rounding up everyone's belongings.  I prefer my parents to leave everything at home unless I specifically ask for them to send it.  This elminates the risk of leaving things behind.  My personal preference is for parents to bring a pack of diapers, a couple bottles and a can of formula to leave at my house.  I provide everything else.  The last thing I want is a disgruntled parent who doesn't talk to me about his/her concerns.  You need to be comfortable with the person you trust your child with.  Talk to her about your concerns and then decide from there if it is a setting that is working out or not.  This is not a situation that requires a report, but is a situation that requires open communication with your care provider.  

Answer 5

Ive never had a child in daycare. But I worked at one. What I would do is if she doesn't have any explanation of what happened. I would change provider if she doesn't have a good explanation of it.  Me working at a daycare,  I always explained what happened if their child got hurt.  But if your still feeling fishy I would just change day cares.

Answer 6

I do home daycare, any bump scrape or bruise needs to be reported to the parents as soon as they pick up their child.  Even if it's something as simple as johnny fell when walking down the sidewalk.  An explanation of some sort is expected.  As well, as a provider if child comes with a new bump or bruise, I always ask how'd that happen.

While I'm guilty of not always having my kids ready waiting at the door, I make sure that they bring home any toys and especially bottles.  Bottles get scuzzy pretty quickly and need to be washed.

When I put my first child in daycare I learnt a really hard lesson.  It's not really just the provider you have to be weary of, it's the other children in her care!   I was interviewing a potential provider who just finished telling me she doesn't tolerate hitting of any kind, when I left my daughter had a black eye from her son and she didn't even see it happen or acknowledge it.  That's why I decided to do daycare myself.

Good luck!

Answer 7

The scratches on his inner leg & butt concern me i would be asking questions and not taking my kid back there its definatly not worth the risk. Good Luck

Answer 8

My mom watches my son from time to time and she has a 1 year old daughter(there is a 25 year difference between the two of us) and my 6 month old and her 15 month old fight like dogs. My son rolls to her and steals away her things and she steps on him. We call it mushing. My mother holds my son has much as possible but at their age they have no concept of playing 'together'. Small scratches, little red marks and bumps are to be expected in a daycare atmophere.

If your still uncomfortable make a daycare switch and go to a big name corporate type one, make sure all providers are VPK certified.

Answer 9

kids get scratched and roughed up at daycare, as long as there are not any bruises and your child's behavior isn't different then it's okay. he probably just fell or bumped into something. As for having you bag packed for you, well you can not expect the teachers to do this for you, they are supposed to be watching all of the children... not making sure your bag is packed. not trying to be rude, but i am a parent as well a former daycare teacher. sometimes we don't have time to pack up your kids things b/c the children are busy and we have to keep them occupied. before you leave just check to see if you have every thing. if not check his cubby or ask his teacher to help you. and ask about the marks on his body.......they should write up an accident report every time your child has a mark of any kind.

Answer 10

i dont like it, change care providers..she seems unprofessional and i hoped she explained those scratches..id report her and change to a daycare center like kindercaree or kiddy academy

Answer 11

There is probably an innocent explanation for what happened and she most likely hasn't done anything to intentionally harm your child. If anything she sounds like she is probably just too busy to take on another child and provide the attention that the child needs. How many kids is she looking after? I think you need to look at the underlying message here... she does not sound like an organised person nor does she have the communication skills she should have in her job.. I mean the least she could do is tell you what happened. The scratches etc... while not something that SHOULD happen is certainly something that COULD happen at anyday care. Just because it was the child's first day doesn't make it any less likely so I wouldn't base any decision on that... like I said though... how she has dealt with the situation has given you some insight into the type of person she is

Answer 12

If you're son had an obvious red mark on his head that wasn't there when you dropped him off the person in charge of him should have told you if he had an accident or was hurt in some way. I would find it very odd if they didn't mention it, I would also find it odd if you didn't ask them about (you do not mention whether you did or not).

I can see how he may have got some some scratches on his neck and face from the other kids but if that's the case he can't have been very well looked after. How do you get scratches on your butt when you're wearing a nappy?

If you haven't already I would ask for an explanation do not take your son back if you are not satisfied with the answer.

However I wouldn't expect them to pack your bag, but I would say that's the least of your problems.

Answer 13

Its your child and your priority is his wellbeing and safety - ask outright about these problems - I certainly would!

All mums worry about their children, as do I, and I certainly wouldn't let this lie - it might be something really simple but you should at least be told (like my son in school- if he has any falls etc I am told at the end of the day when I pick him up)

Answer 14

Well, my twins had plenty of bumps and bruises and sometimes they have scratch marks from rough playing with each other.

The thing is, they're my kids so I don't have to explain it to anyone.

I do understand that sometimes kids can play rough but I think she should have been watching your baby a bit better and explained what happened when you got there.

The fact that she never mentioned it makes me wonder if she ever witnessed what happened and that concerns me.

How many kids are there per adult?

Answer 15

you should have asked about these marks, what kind of mother are you?

you go on the internet to ask about this?!?!  ask the person you are talking about!  the day care provider.  or put a hidden camera in your sports bag.