What would you think of a blind person who paid someone to take a sighted person's eyes so they could see?

Question

How would you feel if someone came up to you, knocked you out took your eyes and then gave them to a blind person to have implanted by a doctor? The former blind person would go around saying these are MY eyes now, not caring about the pain of the person who was born with those eyes. THIS is what it feels like to have your child coerosed from a woman and THIS is how it feels to be adopted.

Answer 1

If the bio parents are both in jail for breaking their 3 week old infant's leg, should they be raising him from jail? Or should they give him back to them when they are done serving their time so they can kill him next time around?

Answer 2

I think you need to find a good counselor.  

I realize that your adoption was a horrible experience, and I feel terrible for you. But, why are you trying to coerce every adoptee into thinking the same way that you do?

Get help!!!

Answer 3

Adoptions are to help children get in a better home stupid! When they are not taken care of right, or not taken care of at all, then they need to be put in a better home. Sometimes the mothers want there children to be adopted because they feel that they can't take care of them, and they want them to be taken care of the way they deserve. So you might want to think about that before you go around and accuse people of being liars. I personally think that people who adopt are good people, because they help out the children.

Answer 4

OK then....Well, my son's mother didn't want him so no one was coerced.  My son was 6 years old.  I think she had more then enough time to bond with him but, that's not what happened she past him around to whom ever would take him off her hands so she could go do whatever she wanted to do!

What do you think should have happened with him?  No they did not step in till the aunt took him to them.  And before you start calling people liars you should know them.  I am sorry you are so angry but, NOT all adoptions are bad!!

And another thing My son doesn't live a lie he knows his whole life story he knows his bio family and still talks with them to this day.  Maybe you should talk to the kids in foster care and ask them if they would rather stay in foster care or go home to parents who have mistreated them or be adopted by someone who can love them and give them good homes..I bet you would find 8 out of 10 want a forever family not with their bio parents......

His Aunt did the best thing for him.  She wasn't able to take care of him and she found him a loving home before she took him too the state!  You don't know the whole story and I have a feeling even if you did you still would see it as a bad thing.  Like I said before he knows all and he is a great kid nothing you say here will belittle what he means to me and my husband or what we mean to him.  I hope someday you find peace.....

Answer 5

I think it's sad the amount of denial here

coercion exists in a big way - 'cos of the money involved in adoption.  Agencies have waiting, paying customers so they need to get the 'goods'

I think it's sad that people turn a blind eye to the unethical practises going on in adoptions today

I'm sorry nobody wants to listen, Burned.  It sucks that this stuff is going on and that it involves children whose needs are apparently coming second to the needs of the adopters, sigh

Answer 6

Congratulations, you found people who agree with you but I do not. My adoption was great and the adoptions of my children was also great. Their mother was not forced as she sought me out, she was 28 and this was her 4 and later 5th pregnancy. She felt giving up for adoption was the best choice for the kids. They have met her once and plan to again when they are finished with high school. They have letter and pictures communications. And yes, I met my birth family as well and I am okay with it. I stay with my real family, the one that raise me. I know you don't agree with me and will probably call me names. But I just wanted to show that not all adoptions are bad, at least in my case

Answer 7

You really need some counseling to deal with your anger and hurt feelings.  You equate your situation with every child's situation in the world.  I work in a pediatric home for disabled children.  Many of them are the way they are because of 'biological' parents from shaken baby syndrome to being brutally beaten up.  These parents weren't 'coerced' to give their children up, they were taken from them.  Some of these kids are up for adoption but nobody really wants a child this disabled because these kids aren't interactive, their brains were too damaged.  Sure you can find bad people everywhere even adoptive parents can be bad, just like some foster parents are awful too.  Don't assume you know everything, there is so much poverty and neglect in the world even in the USA.  It's unfortunate that some kids go hungry and sleep outside, I wish they all had warm beds and a good meal every day.  People who choose to adopt provide this to a child who otherwise might have suffered a much worse fate. I hope for the sake of your mental health and for your child's that you deal with your feelings.

Answer 8

You r crazy. That's NOT how it feels to be adopted! I'm adopted and it was the best thing that ever hapind to me. My mom was a junkie that didn't care about me. Sorry it wasn't good for you but u don't speak for every adopted person so stop being so mean!

its sad when some people look for the bad in things insted of looking at the good.

If I was adopted from a baby I hope i wouldn't be like YOU, you are angry and bitter. When I have a temper i think my dad dosent love me either, you know why? Because he can be loving and I don't see it, I only see the bad stuff because I'm pissed off.

have you ever tried to love someone that was a bully? It is hard to love them when they hurt you all the time, I think you are a bully and thats why your family has a hard time loving you.

If your sister is like your mom then maybe YOU are wrong ever think bout that?

Answer 9

So, now because your daughter's aunt was bad, all aunts are bad. That makes a lot of sense. Wow, we should listen to everything you say because you have an excellant frame of reference.

Doesn't that sound familiar?!?!?!? My adoption was bad so all adoptions are bad.

You are crazy. Please seek counseling!

Edit: Post a thousand articles for all I care. Nothing will change the fact that we are happy and your not. The greatest way to pay evil, mean, miserable people back is just to be happy. They can't stand it. It makes them sick to their stomach. And guess what, we are!!! Try not to go hurt yourself over it.

I know you think we live in a fantasy world of happy adoptions. So what if we do. I'd much rather live in my HAPPY fantasy world then your miserable world. I'm inviting you to my happy world. It's great. You should come.

Edit: Hey Oliver, your fantasy adoption world sounds pretty good like mine. Don't you think burnedbyadoption should join us?

Oliver, I'm being sarcastic. Mine is definitely not a fantasy either. That's what burned always puts in her post. Glad you are happy!

Hey burnedbyadoption, did you finally have to sign in to one of your other profiles to finally get the feedback you wanted. Is that one of your many personalities? Crazy!!!

I also love the fact that everytime an adoptee gives a good adoption story, you come up with this big government conspiracy to come on YA and answer positively about adoption. That's right, government workers have nothing better to do then sabotage your posts. Because you have that much influence (sarcasm). WOW! CRAZY!!!

Answer 10

Wow...you are a nut job. Not everyone's experience is like this. Maybe this is how you feel...but not everyone who is adopted feels this way. I hear all these people talking about how they feel that someone made them give their baby up etc etc...I work with people who DO NOT WANT THEIR children and Thank Goodness there are people out there that are willing to be Terrific parents and loving people to these children that they now call their own! I am sorry you had a bad experience...but this is not the case for everyone.

And btw...i have to comment on an asnwer u left for someone else on another question:  "Are you on drugs? You really think God wants you to be so selfish and not take care of your own child? Do you really think God wanted people not to forgive women who had a child out of wedlock and torture the mother and child and separate them? No, God wants single mothers to be forgiven, grow up and take responsiblity for the children they create. GOD HATES ADOPTION, he choose too not let some women conceive, go read the bible, its in there. Infertile couples are only supposed to raise ORPHANS, not babies taken from their mothers that were only taken because they were not married, or did not have a lot of money. I can't beleive you'd go reject your own sick child and come on the internet, and brag about it. You are SO going to h**l. You SO are a horrible person, and an immature one. Ugh, I am going to go throw up right now because you are so vile.

4 hours ago

For one thing...GOD doesn NOT hate adoption. That is the most IGNORANT thing you or anyone else could say.  And another thing...read that question AGAIN! The person who wrote the question was saying that her child's BIOLOGICAL mother rejected the child and that there were difficulties because the BIOLOGICAL mother did whatever she did when the child was inside of her....the person writing that question was saying SHE took in this child that the Biological mother did not want.....so before you start ranting and raving about nonsense and saying god doesnt believe in adoption and someone is going to h**l etc etc....READ THE QUESTION CLEARLY FIRST.

I am sorry you are such an angry person and are lashing out on everyone else.......my thoughts are with you...

** I had to come back on and post this...i am reading your other questions and answers and OH MY...you are a bitter bitter person who is So against adoption.  I am SO sorry that for whatever reason....your adoptive home was was either abusive or neglectful....that is so very wrong....but this is not always the case..AT ALL......Where should all these children go if you do not believe in adoption? Some of the parents DO NOT want their children...have signed over their rights....some of these women are on their 14th child and do not have custody of any of them because they cannot get off the drugs...or aren't mentally able to....or etc etc etc..(THIS IS  A FACT..because when I facilitate a placement for a child that needs a foster home or adoptive home...i look in the background and see that this yes is their 14th child) There are parents out there that physically abuse their children and do not stop....there are also people that will sexually abuse a child that is only a few months old...can you believe that!!?? It's disgusting, but yet true!! Where should these children go if you do not believe in adoption? Should they continue to get physically and sexually abused?

Have you ever read the book: A Child Called It? READ IT. It's a True Story about a boy named Dave Pelzer and the abuse he went through by his own biological parents. Should a child have to put up with that? Seriously...read that book

Answer 11

To equate this analogy to adoption is disturbing and ridiculous.  Your persistence with these trick/off topic questions does incline me to believe that you would benefit from counseling.  I'm not saying that to simply be mean.  Anger permeates every question and answer you post.  I do not negate that you have issues about your adoption but your behavior is making it very difficult to read your posts because they are full of blanket statements and venomous attacks on anyone who disagrees with you.

"THIS is what it feels like to have your child coerosed from a woman and THIS is how it feels to be adopted."

This is how it feels to you.  If I as an adoptive parent don't know what it feels like to be an adopted adult or relinquishing parent,... which has been alleged many many times,... then you do not know how it feels to be a relinquishing parent.  You have said it yourself.  Don't expect me or anyone else to accept your philosophy if you don't practice it.

I know many adopted adults who do not feel the way you feel.  I know some that do feel this way or at least similar.

It would be much easier to listen to you if you talked about your feelings instead of asserting that you speak for all adopted adults even those that firmly disagree with you POVs on adoption.

All my best to you in working through your issues.

Answer 12

This may be how it feels to you.  But, to insinuate that all adoptees feel this way, or should feel this way is also a form of coercion.

Answer 13

Just curious, how old are you?   I really feel sad for you that you are so filled with hatred and anger...NO ONE should have to go through their life like that, please seek Counseling.

Answer 14

You know, I am someone who is interested in adoption reform and very concerned about coersion in adoption.  I am not in denial about it.  Have you noticed that your completely irrational "analogies" are having the effect of completely taking attention away from real issues and perhaps a real movement to reform adoption.