What you do about a guy who secretly found the ARK chopped it into firewood and then selling it on EBAY?

Question

He found the Ark brought it back to England on a German herring trawler into Ipswich, disassembled it but made no plans on how to reconstruct the darn thing, so he hauled the treasure into his backyard, which started to look like parts of the black forest in one pile, of course the neighbors complained and his wife went ballistic so he decided to chop it into small bundles of firewood and now he sells the single lot for 20 quid on Ebay.

I am afraid the Ark will be lost forever in a fortnight.

Who you gonna call?

Answer 1

Ghost-Busters

Dude, don't buy any bridges from him, ok?

Or, you could buy up the pieces and glue it all back together, and you'll be a hero, or something.

Yo, spamman," knickers in a twist" that's funny stuff.

(ok, i'm from california, so?)

Answer 2

He obviously has gifts of an unusual nature....

Should he consider politics?

Answer 3

Please let him know that new York City is looking to sell the Brooklyn Bridge and I can broker the deal for him!!

Answer 4

The expression "double crossed"

comes from people selling bits of wood from the Cross of Jesus, but somebody remarked that there would have to be at least 2 crosses to justify the ammount of bits of wood being sold.

As for the ARK, no chance that its really bits of the REAL ARK, if there is ever any hope of ever seeing whatever is left of the REAL ARK.

Not something to get your nickers in a twist over.

Answer 5

Those logs are really soft and not even made from wood we made them earlier another batch can be made in the morning.

Answer 6

Pen-Busters.  If this Ipswich nitwit had any sense, he would at least have withheld one splinter and claimed that it came from Noah's a s s when he fell on the deck and Barney the dinosaur had to extract it with a dodo beak.  That should add at least another 30 quid to the sales price.  Too bad about the dodo going extinct.  Probably never even got an extra herring for the splinter extraction services.

Answer 7

Morgan Freeman will be so angry!!

Answer 8

If you re in the investment business I have some wall paper caliber stocks -CHEAP

And I'll trrow in my own water engine plans too all for only !9.95 US AMERICAN and then you never have to but gasoline again.

Answer 9

I've got the animals too if anybody's interested.