Whatayathink?

Question

the spur of the moment

the moment the spur grinds into your mind

poking holes thru the thin membrane that holds

your brain in place

the race is on to find

the perfectly polished words that make your pain sound cool

you can search high and low

but every fool knows that inspiration will find you,

sans schedule,

at the spur of the moment.

Answer 1

Lavareporter offers a critique of great magmatude. Leave the sans on the beach. Otherwise, this is a little gem.

Answer 2

i think its really good. nice word choices and imagery

Answer 3

Niiiice. I liked everythign except the word "sans." A little too self-aware, or something.

I think what I really like here is your use of rhyme--something I don't often say as an academic poet. I think when you use cool and fool with that offset posture, and not simply at the end of a line, you get a lot of traction. Really fun.

Thanks!