Whatdo you think about adoption?

Question

should i tell the father that i am gving the baby up for adoption

Answer 1

If done for the right reasons (the child genuinely NEEDS a home - not because people have told the relinquishing mother that it's the 'right' thing to do / or for those waiting in foster care - unable to be parented by their parents - they are really the children in NEED), and if full disclosure of origins to the adoptee is maintained throughout their lives AND open contact with the biological family is maintained (if the child is in no real danger) - then I believe there is a need for adoption.

And on a side note:

For those that keep sprouting that adoptees are better off than being aborted - please STOP.

The opposite of 'ABORTION' - is -  'CARRYING TO TERM'.

ADOPTION should only be considered once a mother has decided that they can truly NOT parent the child - or that right has been taken away from them because of possible danger to the child.



Saying to an adoptee that they should be grateful to even be alive - is a lie - and is extremely hurtful.

Please refrain.

Thankyou.

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Added to comment on your added comment !!

Yes - if you do decide that adoption is the only option - then YES - you do need to advise the father of his child - and your intentions.

He is the father of the child - he deserves to decide if he would like to parent the child - and the child also deserves to know who his/her father is.

Please consider all options very carefully before deciding.

Adoption is a short term fix to a long term problem.

Please take the time to read -

http://keepingbabieswithmommy.blogspot.c...

http://paragraphein.wordpress.com/

http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/

http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/

I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

adoption is a touchy subject but its hard to give birth to a child that you don't have the means to raise, but you need to inform the biological father that this is a choice your considering since it's his child as well, its only fair.

Answer 3

Yes dad should be informed, lets face ithe has a right to know and therefore decide what he wants for his child. He may want to parent.  The laws in IL regarding the fathers consent were changed due to a case called  "Baby Richard" who was placed for adoption by his mother at birth.  This case went through the courts for many years and finally when dad won the child back the media was all over it like a fly on  ****.  The media showed this child get transferred from the only mom and dad he knew to the parents he knew nothing about. Watching this child scream and cry and not let go of his mother was gut wrenching. Long story short...the birthparents (now his only parents) end up getting divorced and mom has custody. As aresult of this adoption....laws became stricter in IL and less room for error (well you need a legitimate lawyer too).

I would let dad know so he can participate in the decision making and if it is adoption you all chose then it can be done correctly so that there is no risk for disrupting the childs life. You need to do what is in the best interest of the child (short term and long term). Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm adopted, so I know how it is and when it comes down to it..it hurts. Yes you get a new family that actually wants you, but you will always have that emptiness in your life. And all the questions that are unanswered. To you it maybe the right thing to do,but when that kid gets older they will never have what others do. And that is to know who their real parents are. So if your thinking about putting someone up for adoption, just try and work it out before you give the one person who loved you for nine months away.

Answer 5

Adoption involves a big loss for birth mom and a big loss for baby. Most of the time it involves loss for the adoptive family that had wished for "their own".  Even in the best of circumstances, its complicated because that loss is always there.  I think it messes the adoptive kid up a little, or maybe a lot, but it might mess them up more to grow up with an unstable biological family.  And it is nice for the adoptive family to be able to have children so it does have positive outcomes.

Answer 6

I think it's better than making MORE babies -who'll  put further demands on the Worlds Resources...

Answer 7

I'm an adoption social worker and I think it is a loving and brave choice....a mother's choice who wants better for her child than she can give.

I have very good families.  I have two friends who just adopted children...I know the mother could never have given the babies what they have now.......

Yes you should tell the father and get him to sign off too..otherwise he can interupt the adoption and destroy the child and the family.

Answer 8

Adoption is not a guarantee for a better life - it is a guarantee for a different life.  Adoption cannot guarantee that the child will not have a miserable life any more than it can guarantee that the child will have a great life.  

Many adoptive parents are not educated about what it takes to raise an adopted child, and most people are not aware that it damages infants to be separated from their mothers at or soon after birth (not to mention the damage to the mother - and both hurts last a lifetime).  This alone makes an adopted child a 'special needs' child.

Even in the best of adoptive homes, the child still has to grow up without the genetic mirroring that kept children get.  They know the origins of their features and characteristics.  They know how tall they will get and what color and texture their hair will be when they are adults, and what body shape they will have.

Kept children live in an atmosphere where the rest of their family has already learned from experience how to "be" in the world based on their characteristics and personality traits.  The adopted child has to feel his/her way blindly.  And, if it is an open adoption, the child has to watch while his mother raises his/her younger siblings and wonders why s/he too was not kept.  His/her younger siblings wonder why their sibling was given away and if they too will be given away.

In the adoptive home, the child lives without the primal connection to the Family of Man.  Immediate family provides that connection as no one else can.

Oops gotta go.  More later if I get the time.

Answer 9

Im all for it. Why should a child have to live a miserable life when there are two parents who can care and feed and love that child? I am all over adoption! Now, lets see how many thumbs down I get because all the single mothers out there dont like my answer...But, it is still true.

Answer 10

I am for adoption. It's gives life to a baby who was not aborted and it gives people who can't have children an option. I was not ready for a baby in any way. I knew that she would have a better life and that I could finish high school. I think adoption is a beautiful thing. It's not perfect, but it's an option. I have an open adoption and it's a great thing. She will know who the birthdad and I are and she will know right away that she is adopted. I think that adoption is getting better and there is less not knowing for everyone. I get to see my baby Friday!

Answer 11

I think NO WAY!! If i was adopted i would have gone out and search for who my real parents were. But still i would lluv the family that adopted me!!

Answer 12

The baby can not be adopted unless both parents sign over their rights

As far as adoption I think it’s great, there  are lots of children that need a loving home.  It gives people who might not be able to have natural children the oppturinity to be parents. I’m not just talking about infertile people, g**s and lesbians, single people who don’t see themselves getting married anytime soon but want to start a family. Those that don’t want to use donor eggs or donor sperm.  

I’m adopted and have never had any major issues over it.

Answer 13

I think it stinks, violates the rights of the people its supposed to be about, and feeds into the wants of the adoptive parents ( the demand. )

Its an industry, a machine, a billion dollar industry. It doesn't serve the children who need homes, it serves itself.

Answer 14

It depends on the state you live in.  Some state laws don't require it.  Utah, I believe, does not require disclosure and certain agencies will relocate you there to give birth.

Answer 15

Well, to start with, I am adopted. I was adopted into the same bloodline(family) actually. If you decide to adopt a child just let me tell you this. You have to decide when you will tell them you aren't his/her biological parent and if they are adopted at a young age(old enough to talk) if they get mad they may call you by your name and not mom or dad. I did the same way. That just means they don't understand. It can be hard but at the same time it's a great experience because you are saving a child from never having a good life or never having parents and you can experience parenthood.