Whats The Funniest Thing You've Heard All Day?

Question

Whats The Funniest Thing You've Heard All Day?

Answer 1

Talks of zizi and zaza :D

Answer 2

Your Questions

Answer 3

haha i was in the city and there was like bug jars of like melted cheese and like ranch dressing and jam spilt on these steps so i said

" i wonder what curse they said"

like when they dropped it

me and my friends could not stop cracking up!

Answer 4

Kid to me..."I don't like your dog"

Me to Kid..."how that then?"

Kid to me..."He's got the evilest eyes I ever seen"

Me to kid..."Really?"

Kid to me..."yeah.. pure evil"

Me to kid..."he's blind".

Answer 5

Somone told me today that they like to eat socks.

Answer 6

The pepto bismal commerical where the empanda breaks up with the girl. "don't let the food you love hurt you"  

see if it works: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FgIujk2S...

Answer 7

my 3 year old nephew called me a dumbass lmao

i know thats not supposed to be funny but i couldnt help but laugh....kids start so early these days  

Answer 8

someone asked me  to say sofa                            king               retarted

lollolololol

Answer 9

"Its by the Pepsi Machine.. "

(Im not gonna explain it)

Answer 10

one of my brothers always comes up with weird excuses to why he sucks at school (he says it's his gimmick lol), like "I hit my head when I was 8" or "maybe I'm dyslexic". His latest gem yesterday.

"I finally found out why I suck"

"Why?"

"I'm more of those creative type of people"

"Huh?"

"You know guys that play music or write books or paint art"

"Paint art?!"

"You know what I mean! Get that stick out of your a** and don't come kissing up when I make Picasso roll in his grave!" and then he stormed out mad.

The funny thing is he was actually serious this time. The guy never held a paintbrush in his life and he wants to be the next Picasso.

Answer 11

My Bro: "How come you never supported my football skill and put me in a professional team, Like Boca or Real?"

Mom: "I was Afraid they'd [Coaches] rape you"

LMAO!!!

Answer 12

NSW school teachers are Underpaid

Answer 13

Not today, but when I went to this party, a guy asked the girl next to me: "Want to dance?"

She: "No thank you"

He: "Dont thank me, thank God someone asked you."

LOL!

Classic.

Answer 14

this joke...i busted into tears reading it...

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?"

He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

"Where's my toast ?"

Answer 15

Thats queerer then a g*y pride fest

Answer 16

roses are red violets are blue, don't finish this sentence.............**** you!!! I wrote that poem to my crush today and she gave me a good giggle.........>=(  your still reading aren't you.