Whats is wrong with my child?

Question

My son is 11. He gets into fights daily, starts fires, lies, steals, wets the bed occasionally and is cruel to animals. His mother past away five and a half years ago. But she was never there for him.

Answer 1

It sounds like he has no upbringing.  If his mother died, it has caused a real trauma to him.  He needs help now, before he does something he will live to regret.

Answer 2

I would have him assessed by a psychiatrist right away.

Answer 3

I lost my mom at birth.

I fought constantly, lied, stole, wet the bed.  I never was cruel to animals as I felt they were my only friends, but I wasn't completely nice to them either.

The answer that talked about exactly what to do is the best answer.

Those are what I needed.  Just because I didn't know my mother, didn't mean I didn't want her, loved her and missed her with my whole heart and soul.

I wanted love, attention and acceptance.

I wanted to know that no matter how bad I was, someone loved me and would "save" me from myself.  I couldn't control myself, I was scared, hopeless and felt alone.

It took many, many years of therapy to gain my soul back.  Don't leave him in his grief.

Juli

Answer 4

Maybe that is how he is crying out for help. I would find a good councilor and take him to see them.

Answer 5

He needs counseling. He is not going through a stage like someone had mentioned, It's not normal behavior. Please seek counseling for him before it gets him into a heap of major trouble.

With counseling... they can get to the root of the problem and help tremendously.

Answer 6

He needs therapy. My oldest step son went through all of these things from about 6-11. He is angry about his mom,doesn't feel loved, and is crying out for help. You need to focus all of your attention on him and get help. The fires always scared me and my wife, very dangerous. He's trying to get your attention, so give it to him. Our son wet his bed until 13. Do not punish him over this! Love him over this! Use the mornings he wakes up wet and upset to comfort him and gain his trust.  Believe me, every morning he's wet, he's waiting for a response from YOU. Make it a comforting and positive one. Just because he doesn't say anything about his wet bed, doesn't mean he's not bothered by it. If you ignore it, he thinks you are ignoring him and don't care about him or love him.Talk to him about what he wants to talk about, make eye contact. Give him chances to be involved in whatever you are doing, ie- cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. He will love to help; if he thinks he's wanted and needed. Our son slept on our floor, in our room, until about 11, especially after an accident, and sometimes had another one on my rug before he got up. We made no big deal of it. The therapist said it was not his fault, just his body's way of relieving stress. Until about 10 or so he would wet his pants during the day, and not know why. Once again, stress. All we could do was love him, that's all that worked. We set down rules, with the help of the therapist, and stuck with them. My wife and his dad split when he was 3, but he still saw him, and tried to undo all of what we were doing when he had him on weekends. The therapy helped greatly to understand his feelings, and curb our anger towards his actions. He is 17 now and is a good kid on his way to being a good adult. Just because it was 5 1/2 years ago doesn't mean he's not sad about it now. You need to deal with what's bothering him right away. This behavior is what turns kids to gangs and drugs.

Answer 7

I'd take him to counseling.  Sounds like something definitely is going on with him.  I hope you seek help for him before he hurts himself or anyone else.

Answer 8

he might have friends that influence him to do all those of things. i would take him to a counselor. but get him comfortable with the person. if it is because of his mom dying well that was 5 and a half years ago and the behavior i just coming out from it. you need to try and be there for him, and if you do take him to a counselor let him take time to get to know the person and eventually he will trust the person, and confide in them. the behavior will prolly stop eventually. i would sit down and talk to him within the next few days and ask him why he acts this way.

Answer 9

Just because your kid was "not close" to his mom does not mean he did not feel the loss. Take him to counseling, take an active role in his life and set strict guidelines and punishments. Best of luck and blessings your way.

Answer 10

Take him to a specialist, NOW. These are the actions of a disturbed person, and if not handled, will get worse until he does something horrible.

Answer 11

talk to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

He probably going through some kind of stage. Take him to go see an specialist.