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Whats on her mind...? Women help?

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this is a repost...thought I'd see if anyone else answered. If you read it already, thank you for the advice.

Before I run down the situation, a lot of people are going to think I'm dumb for this, but my mind is made up.

Me and my ex have been together for almost 6 years, and I'd like to think for the most part of it things were good. Yes, we had fights or arguments, but who doesn't after living together for 3 years?

The last six months of our relationship, she kept telling me I was going to lose her if I didn't wake up and stop being so lazy. And I just blew her off, feeling like she was being over dramatic. She said she was going to move out, and once again, I felt she was being over dramatic, so I would just say " Go then." About 2 months ago, she finally did. She moved in with her girlfriend, but after maybe two weeks she came back. After a week of being back, we got into it again and she left again. This time, it was for about a month and a half. The whole time she was gone, we still talked and sometimes I would even ask her to come home.

Last week or so, I text her I missed her, and she text me back the same. She then text message me that she didn't want to be single and she wasn't happy and the wanted to come home and work things out with me. After talking she admitted to seeing some other guy, but she said she was going to call it off. I accepted the mistake and told her we could get through it. ( early in our relationship, i was on unfaithful, one time!)

After a about 3 or 4 days of talking things out she left again. I asked why, and she told me she was positive on a HPT, and couldn"t look me in the face anymore. She said she was sorry and wished the child were mine.

After carefully thinking this over, I told her that we could work this out, yes even this. Mistakes happen and that shouldn't determine who your with.I poured out my heart to her, and now she doesn't want to talk about feelings. She says she is so stressed, and doesn't know what to do. She also says, the baby's father wants to be with her and so do I and it's too much stress for her, she'd rather do this alone. I told her to relax. She's been here with me the last few days, and I am afraid to talk about her feelings, i don't want her to stress, but at the same time, I don't know what she wants. I asked if I'm wasting her time, she says no. I asked if I'm going to wait for her forever to come around, she says no. I talk to her and sometimes I feel like I'm getting through to her, and other times I feel like she has this guard up. I told her that I believe in us and believe we can get through this, she said she believes that too. So what am I supposed to think if she doesn't want to talk. She says every time we talk or she hears me talk she can't help but cry, so we kinda keep things to a minimal. But when we sleep at night, she doesn't mind us cuddling and holding each other? Plus, she wanted to stay and work things out before she got prego, that should count for something right? anyone have anything for me? if you need more info, ask and I'll add it

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  1. First of all it sounds as though she is afraid of commitment.  Second, you are a good man to forgive her that many times.  But wont you be constantly wondering if she will stay faithful to you?  You are someone that deserves a straight anser, not excuses.  She may be just trying to get her head on straight and do what is best for her child but she's creating a triangle that will hurt not only herself, but you as well.  You be the person to say enough is enough and tell her to leave and when she decides she wants to commit herself to you 100% to let you know and you MIGHT be there.  But hopefully you will find someone better that will not pull the Im leaving you attention c**p.  Sorry, I think its childish and wrong to play with peoples emotions.  Good luck in whatever you decide


  2. wow...that's a crazy tough situation that you're in..but here's my opinion. first off...yes i know that you still want to be there for her and despite the pregnancy you still want to make it work. but i really don't think you're thinking through the whole entire thing in the long run...you're just thinking about how much you love her right now...and how much you want to make it work right now. if this whole thing started because she felt that you were being lazy.....then are you really sure that you can shape up basically over night because the baby will be coming fast....there can't be any excuses...none at all...even though she knows who the father is....and get child support or whatever...she's going to be living with you..so you're going to have to be capable of taking care of her and her baby. could you really handle that..? i'm married and my child is 4 months old it's hard for my husband to be working and responsible because before we got married he didn't even work and he didn't even go to school..he was pretty much lazy too. it's even hard for my husband to go to work for his own baby....do you think you could be responsible and work hard for a baby that isn't even yours? you have to make sure that in the future you won't regret your decision and that you won't ..lash out at your g/f no matter how bad things get with your freedom and finances. because i can tell you now...when the baby comes...everything is about the baby...it's not about you...and it's almost to the point it's not about you and your g/f...of course couples work around that and try to get as much quality time as they can get...but it's hard. so are you really up for the challenge? ......so that's my advice...not so much about her...but you need to re-evaluate yourself first...then explain to her about how you feel...and then give her the space that she needs to get through her own situation. good luck

  3. Don't leave her but let her do what she wants... give her space.  A lot of this could be hormones and guilt.  She has now created a child whom is not from the man that she loves.  She needs time to deal with this and you need to not push her.

    Love her at an arms length and snuggle all night long, she needs this.

  4. you seem like a really nice guy. im sorry your in this situation. but its really hard to come back from something like that and ever be the same.. my advice.. being nice and all move on. you will find someone who feels the same way back. thats really what you deserve. dont get caught up in her whirlwind. your only in the chase  

  5. I think she needs some space to let her figure it out.. and maybe you should take that time to figure out if this relationship is worth your time.  Make a list of things that make you happy and what would be an ideal person in your life... does this girl fit the list?

  6. sorry i got bored reading it. why do u need this trouble anyway? there re like billions of single pretty women and nice in bed too. why do u need this one? weird

  7. Right now her hormones are going crazy and she is also feeling quite a bit of guilt. Just give her time and space and things will get better.

  8.   You need to let the smoke clear out.  You know?  Naturally, you have been hurting because of the back and forth relationship with this woman.  She has been in your life for quite a while, so your heart is on your sleeve right now.  Let the air clear and then take the time you need to make a decision you can live with.  You are not just talking about your life, if you stay with her, you will also be in her child's life.  Trust is a major factor in a marriage.  In addition, it sounds to me like she really is not sure what she wants.  Good luck to you.

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