Whats the best way to be defensive?

Question

IM GETTING married maybe next year not sure, but all my relatives will want to know because mum has gone and told the world everything, so whats the best way to not say anything when they say without being rude or sayin its none of ur biz

Answer 1

Getting defensive may not be the best approach.  How about just telling them, nothing is finalized yet and you will tell everyone the details when you two have decided.

Answer 2

First off - Congratulations!

We're in a similar situation - got engaged a week ago, and all of his family immediately want to know when the wedding will be. (My family are just happy I've gotten him this far!)

I'm alternating with the following responses:

- We're aiming to beat the Guinness Book record for longest engagement (currently 67 years).

- Check back with me in 10 years time, we like to take things slowly.

- I'm thinking of eloping, we'll let you know if/when it happens.

Or just a " we're not sure yet - but you're on our list - and we'll be sure to let you know as soon as we have a confirmed date".

Good luck!

Answer 3

Usually people like to have notice before these things.  And next year may seem like a lot of time right now, but when it comes down to the planning you'll think you don't have nearly enough of it.

I would set a date soon enough and send out save the dates.  You don't have to send out the invitations yet, but usually they are sent out 6 months before the wedding (if it can be done).  

As far as them asking, tell them you are trying to pick the date so nothing has been decided yet.  But if I were you I would definitely start now.  A lot of vendors book 6 months to a year in advance, some up to 18 months in advance.  And some won't work with you at all last minute.

Good luck and congrats on your upcoming wedding.  Hope that you have a beautiful wedding day!

Answer 4

attack, the best form of defence

Answer 5

This same thing happened to me pretty recently. First of all, ask your mom to please not tell anyone else, because nothing is set in stone yet. Then, if your relatives see you or contact you to ask you about it, tell them you're really happy to hear that they're interested and that you will let them know when you guys get engaged, or when you decide to set a date for the wedding. Just be really gracious to them, because it's probably because they are excited for you that they are calling you or asking you about it at all.

Just let them know nothing is definite and they should let it go.

Answer 6

It's a very pressurised time and you probably don't want to push push your luck? Yet others just want you to be happy and to share in that happiness.

The suggestion of talking to your mum about it is a good one - let her know how you feel and she can perhaps reassure you and also understand your concerns and wishes. Most mothers have been thro it themselves and understand that it is your day. Talk to your fiancee about it as well. He needs to understand your concerns and it is his day as well (despite what everyone says, you can't have the day without the groom, so there ladies!) I agree that it would not be a good idea to be rude - it might create a difficult atmosphere for your big day.

Hope that helps.

Good luck

Answer 7

dont move any of your back row

oh im sorry i thought when you said marriage you meant checkers

Answer 8

just karate chop anybody who bugs you.  right in the face.

Answer 9

I think you need to give some examples here.

First off - calm down. Look at what you just said. On the surface, it sounds like you're overreacting.

If it's detailed information you would rather not share with the world, ask your mom to zip it. It's as easy as that.

But really, I would realize that things are going to be told. People will find out the venue, the photographer, etc. Your mom is just happy and proud!

Answer 10

Just say that you have not made ANY firm plans yet, and leave it at that!