Whats the best way to let go of past hurts and pain and learn to love yourself?

Question

Whats the best way to let go of past hurts and pain and learn to love yourself?

Answer 1

whats not to love, you have a great dad like me

Answer 2

Just do what ever you are doing.

When time passes, things will be fine.

Answer 3

It's like William Young said in his book "The Shack"said - "Life takes a bit of time and a lot of relationship."

We need to get around people that can help us become more integrated. People that can impart the grace and love of God into our hearts. People that will build us up on the inside so that when trials come and life gets hairy we'll have the "emotional fuel" we need. This is why Paul was always telling believers to build one another up and not tear each other down. This is also why grace is important. Trying to be perfect in order to be acceptable or loved or respected is a vain thing and it's not Biblical. We need to let go of that pursuit and rest in the unconditional love of God, remembering that He loved us before we were born and will love us after we die and every minute in between.

It's not about trying to be perfect. It's about embracing our Father who is perfect and loves us. He is the One in whom we find our identity because we are made in His image, so trying to "love ourselves" apart from Him is impossible. That kinda "love" only leads to pride, arrogance, devilish behavior and emptiness.

Our value is found in His love not in our activities or personalities or talents. And His love comes to us through His people, His Word, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

When we blow it and fail we need to remember that God has forgiven us and has offered an eternal relationship of love with us. He remembers that we are like dust and He may discipline us at times as a loving Father would but His love for us never runs out.

Some good scriptures to meditate on are:

Psalm 139:1-18

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?sea...

and Eph. 2:3-7 -

3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

Also pray everyday Eph. 3:16-19

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?sea...

Answer 4

perhaps loving yourself is not the answer. maybe a more positive approach would be to accept that neither you or anyone else is perfect, that we all mistakes and that we put it down to experience?

Answer 5

i think you learn to love yourself when you learn to REALLY know yourself; broaden your mind and your experiences; learn new things; learn what you like and don't like; accept yourself for who you are; be gentle with yourself; practice the art of forgiveness; forgiveness begins with a choice but each day that you choose to forgive, you will feel the sense of freedom and healing that comes with choosing to forgive; figure out what you really like to do and then do what makes you happy

Answer 6

Letting go of past hurts is the hardest thing a human being is asked to do.

You can say "I forgive" but forgetting is another story entirely.

I have found that telling myself that this is what has happened and there is nothing I can do about it now. Then I try to see what I can learn from  the experience so I don't repeat it.

Loving yourself is a road that takes awhile to do but have found that committing to a volunteer project usually makes me feel better about the me in the equation. The danger is needing to see yourself in a good light in others eyes.  When you realize that the only one you need to please is yourself then it becomes much easier.  You can not help others until you come to that realization.

You don't say how old you are but am betting you are young. With a little tincture of time you will be okay in this department.

Answer 7

Find good friends who you can trust to really talk about things.

Seeing a professional counsellor can make a big difference.  It seems scary, but it's worth it.  Start to ask around and see if anyone has been to see a counsellor, and who they'd recommend to see.

Answer 8

Think of something good in the future

Answer 9

wow, barbra streisand should look at the answers to this question.

Answer 10

I just look in the mirror.  What's not to love?

Answer 11

Work is a good therapy. If you excel in your work/studies it will give you a sense of achievement that will help you regaining trust in yourself.

Answer 12

You know, we all have these feelings to handle in our lives...Every single one of us here have some past hurts and pain to deal with. I truly think that first acknowledging that they are there, saying, yes these things happened to me, right or wrong, they still happened. Did I learn something from them..??? Have they helped me to be more compassionate, or make me stronger or whatever the case may be...??? And then stop giving thought to them, stop replaying them over and over in your mind....Start to replace those thoughts with positive self-talk...I am a good person, I try to help others whenever I can,.I work hard to make good choices...start giving yourself the ok to be good to yourself...You have the power within yourself to rise above all of that negative self-talk and become so much more....Sweetie, you are a wonderful person, I can tell just from your question and from your concern.......It really is alright to love yourself, to be good to yourself, to treat yourself well....Keep thinking positively and you are going to be just GREAT....!!!!!   ((((((((HUGS))))))).....Linda....XXXXOOO...

Answer 13

Generally, regardless of your age, get involved in activities such as volunteering, and the such.  If you have not accumulated a lot of hurt (read: baggage) this will help you re-connect to others and increase your self-esteem.

You can also see a Psychologist to discuss your problems with.  A good one can help you put your head on right again.