Whats the best way to manage the behaviour of a school aged child who refuses to do as they're told?

Question

simple things like washing and dressing. Especially when you ask them not to do something because it's dangerous and they just go ahead and do it anyway.

Answer 1

You don't say how old the child is ... or what the dangerous behavior is.

If you have sufficiently: explained, punished and exampled the behavior and they still "just don't get it". I would have them tested for adhd or autism. There could be a reason that they cannot follow thru.

In the mean time go in and supervise the washing and dressing...any tantrum means no tv, no computer, no nintendo, no scooter, no nothing.

Answer 2

Whenever that happened with one of my daughters I gave her one more chance to obey, and if she didn't she was sent to her room to wait for me. When I came up she had her pants pulled down and got a spanking. I didn't have to do often - my daughters are quick learners.

Answer 3

my daughter is like this and when she dont listen to me i take away her fav toy for the day and make sure she no`s why its been taken away hopefully she comes out of this

dont give in ......

Answer 4

Warn them if they won't listen to you, you won't listen to them. Then follow through on it. If you get a blank stare after telling them to go put on their clothes or wash their face, give them the same blank stare when they remind you they have cub scouts, baseball, gymnastics, whatever. When they start asking why you're not getting up to do it, say that you're just treating them the way they treat you when you give them something to do. When one gets hurt after doing something dangerous and comers to you crying, treat their injury the same way your warning was treated. (That's only if it's not a bad injury. Obviously if something is broken or in need of stitches get it fixed.)

Answer 5

I think the first thing to keep in mind is - YOU are in control.  I'm not sure as to the age of your child but nevertheless it is important to lay down rules.  Should they test there 'powers' - there are definite consequences that they must adhere to and you must follow through no matter how cute they look with their sad eyes.  It is difficult but of utmost importance to be consistent!  It's also important to talk to your children and EXPLAIN why you have these rules and what it is that you are trying to accomplish.  If you just say 'do this' or 'do that' 'because I said so' then more so than not you may end up with a rebellious child.  Hope this helps!

Answer 6

put them over your knee and spank their f***y good.

it's amazing how well the wax loosens up and they do what

they are told.

Answer 7

When my daughter was younger (about 6), she was like this.  We made a chart that listed EVERYthing she needed to do (and WHEN it neded to be done).  We'd check things off throughout the day and if she had not missed more than one in a day, she got a sticker for that day.  Then she'd get a prize depending on how many stickers she got.  0-3 stickers=no prize, 4=a trip to out local playground, 5=movie night at home, 6=go out to a movie on saturday, 7=all the prizes.

Have your child help think up prizes that would motivate him/her.

Answer 8

Take them to school dirty and in their PJ's, the embarrassment will motivate them to get dressed in the morning. As for doing dangerous things- they will only hurt themselves once! Let them learn consequences for themselves.If all else fails take the PlayStation away.

Answer 9

If you tell them not to do something because it's dangerous then they don't do it. Period. You stop them physically. If this involves public embarrassment (picking them up and carrying them off under your arm kicking and screaming) so much the better. Your child needs to learn that they CANNOT do things that you have told them not to do - either they opt not to do them, or if they try to do them you will stop them in a way which is actively unpleasant to them.

Won't wash? Well, they can go to school dirty, but they certainly can't go to any fun optional activities such as a friend's house. Won't dress? Put them in the car in their pyjamas and head for school. (probably best to have a bag of clothes in the car, so at the point that they realise you're actually serious about going through with it, you can pull over for them to get dressed rather than having to go home and have the fight all over again).

You are the parent. Your child should have two choices when faced with something that needs to be done: they can do it willingly, or they can be disciplined and then they STILL have to do it. At the point that they realise that not doing it simply isn't going to be allowed to happen, you'll find their attitude changes.