Whats the dirtiest joke you have ever heard?

Question

Whats the dirtiest joke you have ever heard?

Answer 1

"What a way to die."

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "d**n, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.

While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"

"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her.

As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you s***w?" he asked.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

He dropped her, too.

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I s***w!" she screamed in panic.

"b....ch!" he said, and dropped her.

Answer 2

PLZ DON'T REPORT ME 4 RACISM

4 nuns go to heavan

they came to the gates of heaven where St Peter Was waiting. St. Peter Says,

"You Have To Wash Every Part Of Your Body To Which You Have Ever  made Contact With A p***s With This Bowl of Water"

The First Nun washes her eyes.

the Second Nun Washes Her Eyes

The Third Nun Was About To Wash when the fourth Nun Sid

"Can I Wash My Eyes Before Nun 3 washes her bum and f***y?

Answer 3

lol u crazy lot LMAO!!

Answer 4

Isn't the dirtiest // but i still find it funny LOL ..

One night a man and woman went to his house to have s*x when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatoes"

So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatoes, lettuce, tomatoes, tomatoes"

Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said

"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise on me!"  

Answer 5

what is black and found at the top of the stairs?

a dead paraplegic

Answer 6

So an egg and a chicken were enjoying their first night of marital bliss.  After some really great s*x the chicken looks at the egg and says "Well, I guess we know the answer to that age old question..."

Answer 7

Something with cats and rich people, forgot the title though!!!

Answer 8

One day, Bill comes home from the pickle factory where he works and confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his p***s into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests he see a s*x therapist to talk about it, but Bill says he’d be too embarrassed, and he vows to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill comes home absolutely ashen.

"What’s wrong, Bill?" his wife asks.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my p***s into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn’t."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"She and I both got fired."

Answer 9

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape!

Sorry!

Answer 10

A beauitiful princess dress in a stunning white gown fell off her horse into the mud.

Answer 11

i would call this one nasty, not really dirty. but when i saw your question, this instantly came to mind. it technically one of those that needs to be told in person because there is a physical aspect to it, but go with me on this...

a guy is driving thru the desert and he has to poo. there is nothing for miles, and then out of nowhere, there is a bar. he pulls over at the bar, walks in, and asked the bar tender if he can use the bathroom. bar tended says its fine, so the man runs into the mens room, drops his pants, and procedes to grow a tail, aka drop the kids off at the pool.

he was so concerned with getting to a toilet, he didnt notice the toilet paper roll was empty. he thought he was screwed. but then he noticed something: a hole in the wall with a sign above it that said 'stick your finger in this hole, and it will be licked clean'.

the man thinks for a minute, and decided 'hey, why don't i just wipe with my finger? then, i can stick my finger in the hole and it will be licked clean'. so, he wipes with his finger, and sticks it in the hole.

on the other side of the hole, someone took a hammer and smashed the mans finger! so he said [instering my finger in my mouth and shouting] OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!

Answer 12

A guy dies and goes to h**l. Satan meets him and tells him he has 3 choices of how he would like to spend eternity in h**l. Satan takes him to the first room full of fire. The guy says, "Oh no, i dont want to be engulfed in flames for eternity." So Satan takes him to the next room. Inside were 2 very hungy lions. the guys says, "Oh no, i dont want to be eaten over and over by those vicious lions." Then satan goes, "Ok, ok, you have one more room. So they go to the last room. inside was a very old, wrinkly man chained to the wall. in front of him was a gorgeous blonde sucking him off. The guy was like.. "Oh wow! this is my lucky day! i will definitely take this room!" Satan says, "Are you sure? and the man says, "Yes, yes i am sure!" So satan walks over to the blonde, taps her on the shoulder and say, you can leave now,  i have a replacement for you.  

Answer 13

2 g*y guys are lying in bed

one guy goes to the other "i feel something wrong with my ***, could you check for me?'

so the other guy takes a look and replies 'nope nothing!'

the guy replies 'keep looking!'

so the other guy sticks his hand up the guys *** and has a feel around and still says 'nope nothing!!'

the other guy replies 'im sure theres something there, keep looking!!!'

so the guy sticks his arm into the guys *** and shouts out 'hey! i think i found something!' and pulls out a rolex, to which the other guy starts replying 'happy birthday to you~ happy birthday to you!'

Gross I know ^_^

Answer 14

your ma