Whats wrong with me? Why do I push away my friend?

Question

This girl considers me her best friend. She always calls me for advice and helps me out. She picks me before anyone. I feel guilty because I dont want to be really close with her. I just got out of a big depressed state in my life. I lost all of my friends except her. I dont know why I push her away. She asked me to hang out and I make up excuses to not go. I don't hate her, and she isnt mean. When we're on the phone, I just want to get off immediatly. Sometimes she annoys me for no reason at all. Why do I act like this ?

Answer 1

Have you explained your situation to her? If not sit down and do so, try to keep her around as much as you can stand. Remember people who stick with you through the bad times in your life is very rare, she sounds like a true friend. I went through same thing about 10 years ago, im glad now that these people were there or i wouldn't know what i would have done. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Well, consider that maybe the things she does are just annoying cause they've been mounting up for so long. Try having a little friendly chat with her one time, where you can discuss the things both of you don't like about each other. Just, like, if there's an awkward silence, say, "Hey, ask me a question, anything at all." And exchange questions. The more you ask, the more you'll find out.

Answer 3

Don't be cruel to yourself. You sound like you need some space. Maybe she's in your life when you need time alone. Tell her that so you don't keep pushing her away

Answer 4

I believe you do need help.. you might suffer from social anxiety.. you already lost all your friends and she is the only one left and you want to get rid of her as well then that means you have a problem.. due to depression and social phobia.. you want to be alone.. I believe you need help from a therapist.. you push all people who care about you away.. so you lost all your friends.. but don't hang on to this girl to pull you out of your present state. you owe her honesty.. if you want to be alone tell her in a polite way that it's not her but that you would rather spend time alone.. and then you really need to find a good therapist because you clearly suffer from social phobia.. and depression.. and right now you can't seem to handle friends.. you push everyone away.. so go to therapy.. and let this girl down gently as it's not her fault. she wants to be your friend but  you need to sort yourself out before you can be a friend to anyone.. so seek help immediately from a therapist and when you are better join a club or a group to make friends when you are more social..  it's not your fault that you are this way.. but you have pushed everyone from you who ever cared about you that is part of your illness.. therefore you need help because everybody needs friends and everybody needs to treat friends with respect and with honesty.. and be open to them... a friend is very valuable.. but right now you don't understand the concept of friendship because you need help first to get your social life back in order and conquer your phobias and your depression which is responsible for wanting to be a loner

Answer 5

You might have been putting up a front for the people in your life during your depression. If you have been pretending to this friend for a while, you don't know how to tell her how you really feel. That's why sometimes the friends who left you alone or just sent you a card or called to tell you they still care, when you were depressed, are your best friends afterwards. You can only work on you when you're depressed; even the best family and friends rarely are able to help; doctors, therapists and nurses are qualified for a reason and it's easier for them to care without being personally involved. You might feel like you are a world different from her, even if you're not, because she seems like she tells you everything and was there for you but you aren't really telling her about the old and new you. Maybe sit down with her and tell her how you feel. If you don't think you can stand that, write her a letter. When I was in the hospital I wrote my sister a letter. We hadn't been getting along very well and I hated that, but I didn't know what to do. One of the nurses told me to write a letter and when I said that would just be weird because I saw her so much, he said that everyone likes getting things in the mail. So I wrote everything that came into my head and sent it, without even reading it. She wrote me a letter back saying she loved getting mail, and I was a good writer because I could make her laugh, and she felt some of the same things I did. After that I told her more, and we became better friends.

Answer 6

Your just to cool 4 skool!

Answer 7

If she annoys you for no reason at all, you don't enjoy her company. The main reason is your depression.

Answer 8

Wow, this situation seems very similar to an issue in my life and I can totally connect with you on that one! I think you should continue hanging out with this friend but maybe try to spread your wings and find more friends to hang out with! This will help you a lot, trust me b/c it's similar to my issue and I got more friends and now I am happier and I'm sure you will be too!!

Answer 9

u probablly feel closer to other ppl, but she isn't one of them. you also probably feel like u cnt connect w/ her the way u connect w/ your other friends. it doesn't help that she treats you like a superhero either, considering you don't feel the same way, so things will feel awkward. the way you feel about her is only natural.

kindly explain to her that things are complicated and you need some space. take time to think about things and get your life organized.

you decide the best way to handle things from here- good luck. =)

Answer 10

i guess the only real solution is suicide