Whats wrong with me? im messed up in the head?

Question

i used to have an eating disorde, but i stopped because i looked up all the bad things it does to you and i didnt want to end up with a messed up internal body...but sometimes i want to do it again, just because i feel as if i should because it is a part of who i am, and if i never have a relapse, then i never had a real problem(i feel like by having an eating disorder for just five months makes me a poser)... but why would i want to confirm to myself that i have a problem at all... shouldnt i wish to never have had any eating disorder.

sometimes i feel like i want to have something wrong with me because i crave that attention people give when they are worried about me....but that just seems so messed up and wrong and selfish of me...and it doesnt even make sense because i would never tell anyone about it: meaning im not one of those girls who would cut themselves and show people....i never told anyone about the eating problem.

Answer 1

First, everyone is different in what they consider to be a 'problem'.  Eating disorders are generally chronic, but they don't have to last for a long time to be an issue.  You are probably like me (and others) who don't see a real problem until its been persistent (ie.  that looks infected, better give it a week.  now the infection has spread, might want to get some antibiotics.  versus: it looks red and swollen, must get drugs now).  Be thankful you aren't hopelessly skinny (or vice versa) with an inability to recognize and fix your 'problem'.

The wanting to valiate your issue and seek attention is part of human nature.  You are lucky in that you recognize your need and search of attention.  Some people are not so aware of themselves.  You have solved the problem, don't recreate it just to get more attention.  I don't generally get the 'i want attention feeling' very often, but I do understand the feeling when you've had an issue and dealt with it yourself and no one notices.  One part of you wishes they knew and that you got some attention on the matter (while the other half wants to keep it to yourself).

All in all, you are on the upside of this issue.  Just seek attention in different ways.  Having someone to confide in (even if its your dog) is a very good way to get some of that attention and validation you want without the detrimental side effects.

Answer 2

You really need to go talk to a professional. Eating disorders are very dangerous. You need someone who knows what they're doing and will keep you accountable.

Answer 3

you could be suffering from Munchhausen's this is where you crave peoples attention by making yourself ill.

i would seek professional help, have a chat with your GP who will put in intouch with the right people.

Answer 4

Everyone manifests hurt differently, some will implode other explode. I've seen both happen to people close to me. You are further hurting yourself the longer it builds up. There's nothing wrong with wanting people to care about you, notice you, its a human need. You ARE worth this of course though you may not feel so. This is a lethal thing to do, PLEASE get help:

1-800-273-TALK

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org...