Whats wrong with my kid?

Question

my son will be 3 in june. he still doesn't talk, he get speach, but it doesn't work really. my problem is that he is like jeckyl and hyde. i know most kids are, but he is really out of control sometimes. in the car is the worst. he will kick scream, headbutt the window, climb out of his seat. (it is a five point harness seat) and when we get home, he will throw himself into things, throw things at my boyfriend, hit me and stuff like that. i know it sounds like a tempertantrum, but its worse than that. hes been evaluated for downs and autism, hes fine, i can't take him in public for fear i might lose my self control as he does the same stuff everywhere. i don't think this normal. any suggestions? maybe he just doesn't like me. im sick of yelling at him all the time and he doesn't learn the simple things that other kids do... like, not touching certain things, or doing a certain thing, and its an everyday battle. please help!

Answer 1

Sounds to me like the terrible twos that have escalated because of your behavior...not his.  You say you yell at him...well that's going to make things worse for sure.  Also stop trying to make him keep up with other children in HIS development.  He isn't other children he is himself and right now HIS development is a little slower.  Besides that NO 3 year olds listen perfectly, but YOU have to be consistent.  What you told him 5 minutes ago is forgotten and you have to tell him again and again and again...that's being a 3 year old.  YOU need to understand that this is a small child and not a mineature adult.  You might have him tested of bi polar problems though...that could have something to do with it.  But mostly behavior like this is from wanting attention and small children don't have the capacity to decipher between good and bad attention.  You need to set rules and boundaries and learn how to accentuate the positive behavior and to try to ignore the negative.  When he is behaving for 5 minutes praise him.  Tell him how wonderful it is that he is being quiet.  Off him small rewards and privliges.  Television, video games, computer time should ALL be privileges and not handed out because he wants them.  He should have to earn them with his behavior.  Yelling at him is only teaching him how to yell back.  And if you continue it's going to be worse when he reaches his teens.

Answer 2

Get him tested for a nervous system disorder....friend of mine had a son who had the same issues. He'd run himself into a wall full speed, get up, bloody head and all, and go about business. He'd also do the Jeckyll and Hyde routine. They had to get him put on meds, and their household is QUIET. They keep everything calm, and anything above a whisper gets frowned upon.

Not saying turning your home into a library will work, but getting him tested might.

Answer 3

Besides autism have you had him tested for other behavioral issues? He might need to be evaluated to a professional. I would take him to get speech therapy. Maybe he's acting out in response to his environment. Does he have other siblings? Is his dad around? Kids act out for different reasons

Answer 4

Maybe there has been a sudden change in his life that is causing him to act out. Try getting him a counselor.

Answer 5

please do not yell at him always, he is a kid and try to convince him slowly and steadily. Try this for about a month otherwise see a doctor.

Answer 6

I would be going back to the paediatrition and disscussing this with him. Something has to be going on. It may be a case of going to a behavioural psychologist. If you feel there is something else going on you find a doctor that will listen to you

Answer 7

perhaps you need to *stop* yelling at him. Take him out more so you *can't* lose your self-control (do you mean that you lose it at home and scream and yell and hit back???)  He's 3. If you don't want him touching something, move it out of reach. If he's out of his car seat, stop the car till he gets back in. You are the adult here!

How does he behave for your folks? If there's a problem there, find a nursery or a child-minder.

He sounds to me as if he needs parenting, not assessing, but with 4 teenagers here what would I know?

Answer 8

Stop yelling at him and find something that would occupy him, like interesting toys or another child.

Answer 9

Have you had his ears tested?? His behavioural problems maybe caused by frustration, that would explain his speech difficulties.

Answer 10

Your child may suffer from bipolar disorder.  He may suffer from anxiety disorders.  You need to get him some help, and you probably need some professional advice on how to reduce the number of triggers he's exposed to.  Keep a journal of what's going on around him whenever he has an episode.  Make sure he's not reacting to pain from something he ate or is wearing.  Make sure he doesn't have any injuries which might be infected.  In other words, rule out as many physical things as possible.  How are his teeth and does he have allergies?  Good luck.

Answer 11

It sounds like an over-the-top case of the "terrible twos."  The thing is, most 2-year-olds begin to mellow out once they can speak well.   It sounds as though your son might be very frustrated because of his inability to communicate.

I don't know how long your speech therapist has been working with him, but sometimes speech therapy can take a while to "kick in."   Give this a chance to work, because once your son can talk well, he will probably improve in behavior.  You might be able to help him in the meantime by affirming for him what you THINK he is saying.   For example, when he's raging in the car, pull over to the side and say to him calmly, "I know you don't like sitting in that seat, and that you would rather sit in the front with me.  Right? But it's the law, and you have to stay in it until we get out of the car."  Then re-buckle him.   You'll have to keep doing this until he gets the message that the car is going nowhere until he stays buckled in.

Hugs to you!  I hope things get better soon!

Answer 12

I would go to another doctor. I wouldn't tell them what anyone else said. I would just let him evaluate your son.

But I would also set rules with your son. I know that sounds tough. But if he is going to beat his head on the window, move him to the middle. If he is going to get out of his seat in the moving car, STOP. Don't move until he is back in his seat. Teach him that you will NOT back down. He will get the point. That and it could save his life by not driving while he is out of his seat.

*hugs* Sure hope things get better fast!