Whats your best tip for whinny/my way or no way 9 year olds?

Question

thanks-

Answer 1

Consistancy........Don't give in to whining.  Send them to their room until they are ready to talk in a normal tone of voice w/respect.

Answer 2

We have a very simple rule.  Whining means "No".  If you enforce this consistently, you will have no problems.  But you must be consistent.

When he is calm, and you are calm, tell him that this is the new rule.  He whines, the answer is "No".  When he's calm, he'll be able to see the logic of it.  If he doesn't, then ask him if he whines around his friends.  I'm sure the answer will be no.  If he's seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, ask him if he wants to turn out like Verucca Salt.  That always works for my kids.  But if he can understand this in a calm moment, it will be much easier to enforce it when he's whining.

Remember, Whining means No.

Answer 3

Just say no. Repeatedly. Tell them you can't hear them when they are whining. Do NOT give in or the whining will start again next time.

Answer 4

I have always told my kids that they can whine all they want but they have to do it in their own rooms because mom does not like whining.

If they still kept whining I would tell them that they need to stop whining if they want me to hear them or they can choose to whine in their room. Then that's it. If they continue to whine go about your business as if you can not hear them. They may get worse trying to get your attention but you can not give in. Once they learn that you will not listen to them if they whine they will stop doing it.

Never let them see it is upsetting you and never argue. Arguing with children makes them think there is a chance that they can change your mind so they will keep at it. You have to show them that no matter how much they whine you still have control.

Answer 5

Start taking away all their favourite things every time they whinge.  Start with toys and then restrict their privileges.  If it doesn't stop, a smack might help, although at 9 they might be a bit too old for it to be effective.  Good luck!

Answer 6

My 8 year old daughter has been that way lately... I have noticed that when she stays up a little later she will do it so I make sure she gets to bed a little earlier so she can get enough sleep. I also sat her down and talked to her about how she has been acting and let her know that she would not get what she was whining for and it has worked for now. Make sure you are consistent with what ever you decide.

Answer 7

Ignore the whine.

Answer 8

Go with no way and call their bluff.

Don't want what's for dinner? They can have plain bread and butter instead.

Don't want to play with the toys they have? Sure, here's a big box, we'll give them all to charity.

Don't like their clothes / don't want to wear something appropriate? That's all there is. If they want something else, they can write it on their birthday/Christmas list. For now, they can wear what you want or they can wear nothing. (Or, if it's to do something they actively want to do, they can stay home).

Don't want to do their homework? Fine. Start drafting a letter to their teacher that they refuse to do it at home, can she arrange for them to be kept in at breaktime instead?

Basically call their bluff. Make "no way" WAY more unattractive than the third alternative, which is to do it YOUR way.

Answer 9

9 year old?? they should've learned "my way or the highway" long time ago - from the parents' perspective!!

Answer 10

A belt.

Answer 11

My experience has been that kids mimic their parents.  Every time I have a situation with my kids I can kinda think back to when I did almost the same.  I would say when dealing with him maybe offer choices then he may be more open to offer you choices.  In the mean time I would not put up with a nine year old telling me what to do.  Good Luck.

Answer 12

Selective deafness with humor.  From now on, when your child whines, look confused and say, "Did someone say something?  I can't hear with all that whining."

Answer 13

My younger daughter (who is now 8) tends to whine when things don't go the way she wants them to. This can really get on my nerves fast. Normally I tell her that I won't talk with her if she can't speak normally. When I have explained to her why she cannot have/do what she wants and she keeps whining she gets a smack or two on the bottom and is sent to her room for a few minutes. That usually helps.

Answer 14

I would ignore my kids and their whining...once they realized they didn't get what they wanted by whining it stopped.

Answer 15

The corner and consistency.  My daughter got so argumentative, whiny, and smart-mouthed I just started sending her to the corner for a few minutes at a time EVERY TIME.  There were days when it was 8 - 10 times, but it has gotten a lot better now that she knows I am serious about stopping the nonsense.