Whats your opinion on the cry it out method?

Question

If your baby is not wanting to go to sleep do you pick him/her up and try something else or let baby have a good cry. What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

I could never let my baby cry it out...When they cry it for a reason...they need to know that you will respond so they can depend on you..My bub sleeps in bed with my and my hubby..it works best for us because he sleeps a lot better and i love to cuddle the lil guy ♥  

Answer 2

I, personally, would NEVER be able to leave my Daughter to "cry it out". When she's crying, I want her to know that I will be there to comfort her. I want her to know that she doesn't have to worry about Mommy not coming. To me, her cry means "Mommy, I really need you to hold me now", if I left her to cry, I would feel like I'm failing her, in a sense. Even if she doesn't need to eat, doesn't need a diaper change, doesn't need to burp, or anything of the like... I will hold her close, talk to her, sing to her, etc. just to let her know that I'm there. The only time I "agree" with the CIO method is if you're at your wits-end and feel like you would do something irrational if you heard your baby cry anymore. Just long enough to take a few deep breaths and relax.  

Answer 3

Personally, I try to do what I can to soothe my crying niece. Whenever a baby is crying it means that a need is not fufilled and I understand that. But, after trying to soothe her and doing everything I possibly can, I put her in her crib, more for my sake then hers. I never want to deal with her when I am at my wits end, I would never, ever lose my temper with her but I don't think anyone can possibly take care of a baby when they are stressed out.

So basically, if my baby started crying at any time I would try and comfort him/her but if nothing works, I would let him/her cry it out or at least cry until I am ready to try again. I would never just let them cry without trying to comfort them because there's got to be something wrong if they're crying in the first place.

EDIT: However, if the child is a bit older and only cries to get out of the crib and thinks it is time to play, etc. when you go to comfort him/her I would let them cry. If it is just because they don't want to go to sleep, which I have never had a major problem with getting my niece and nephew to do, I would let them cry for a while, then go in without getting them out of bed and try to soothe them, then leave again. I would only let them cry if it was because they were unhappy that they had to sleep.

Answer 4

I do believe in the cry it out method. (I know I'm about to get a lot of thumbs down for this one) I believe co-sleeping is fine when they are newborns but I think that after 6 months or so it's time to let them learn that they have to sleep on there own and I'm sorry I don't care how many people out there say that co-sleeping doesn't become a bad habit because it does. Every single mom I know that has co-slept with there baby has had a very hard time getting them to sleep through the night when the time came to go into there own bed. I do not want a 3 old still sleeping with me every night.

When I put my daughter to bed she's fed, changed, burped and I cuddle her for a little bit and I put her to bed when I know she's tired (yawning, rubbing her eyes) and usually she'll fall right asleep, if she doesn't fall right asleep she usually crys for about 2 mins and then goes to sleep until about 9am the next morning. If she crys for more then 5-10 mins I'll go in and get her and cuddle her some more and maybe feed her another ounce of her bottle and then try again and then she always goes to sleep after that. It works for her and me so I don't see the problem and she loves me just the same the next morning. I know what works for me, may not work for another mom but like I said it works for us, so that's all that matters

Answer 5

I am 14, but my mom does NOT believe in the CIO method for babies. If the triplets (4 months) cry, she gets them. If the 4 year olds cry, she will let them cry it out after she makes sure they are safe and not hurt in anyway. For example if they just don't want to take a nap.

Answer 6

i read this somewhere and i found it to be a tremendously great quote:

"a baby's cry is exactly as serious as it sounds."

Answer 7

it really is just a matter of personal choice. hopefully the parents choice meshes well with what will best benefit he baby and their personality...i think usually it does. usually that is the case but i think often parents that have problems with their kids are fine parents, just have a different teaching style than the kids learning style.

the crying out method is perfectly fine and NOT harmful, as long as its done with the right intentions and not just being lazy. obviously you don't let a 4 month old "cry it out" thats way too young, they probably do always cry for a reasonable need as opposed to older babies that DO happen to cry just to be picked up. and there should be limitations on how long the child is allowed to cry it out for and to what point. if you pay attention instead of just turning up the volume you can tell when the baby is actually crying because they need you and when they are only crying because they don't want to go to sleep.

some parents and babies find it better to cuddle and be rocked and there is nothing wrong with that too. i don't think it will cause spoiling any more than crying it out will cause trauma. its just a different method and sometimes it works better that way. i'd like to think i do a little bit of both.

i did let my son cry it out at 8 months when i put him in his own crib...it took two days and less than 20 minutes of crying each night and he slept on his own every night with out crying...it was magical. lol  so it worked for us, but i think we did it at just the right time and we were all ready for the change. i don't think letting any baby cry for hours every night at bed time for months is okay, not even weeks. thats excessive...but a little crying isn't going to hurt a baby...honestly...

Answer 8

well, it is good to let them cry here and there. if they know you'll pick them up at every wimpher then they will cry alot!

the ferber method is not for me. I rocked my little angels to sleep till 6 mos and slowly they learned to sooth themselves. a noise maker saved me!!! my kids loved them

Answer 9

I think it depends on the kid and how old they are - but in general I am for the cry it out method.  My baby is not scarred and I believe we are all getting better sleep because he cried and learned that he needs to fall asleep on his own.  

If it were really that psychologically hurtful, as some moms will argue, then we should be able to see whether an adult as a child was let to "cry it out" or not and that simply isn't the case.  

Babies need sleep and their brains need rest.  The brain needs rest to sort out the input it has received throughout the day.  The body needs rest to rejuvenate and release the growth hormone necessary in well... growing!

Answer 10

This is what I did with my daughter.  I started a routine of bath, bottle, then bed.  i put her to bed drowsy but not asleep.  For the first 2 weeks she would cry herself to sleep.  I would go in her room if she cried more than 15 min. and pat her on the back for a minute then leave the room.  The first three nights really sucked, but after that she started going to sleep within 10 min.  She is 8 months now and I lay her down at 8pm every night and she goes to sleep on her own with no fussing.  It was a struggle at first but it really paid off in the long run.  Everyone is getting the sleep they need.

Answer 11

letting an infant cry it out is mean and neglectful.

Answer 12

If my baby is not wanting to go to sleep, I don't force her. She sleeps when she's ready. Letting her "have a good cry" will not teach her that bedtime is a pleasant, peaceful experience.

We have a routine...not a schedule. There's a big difference. We don't watch the clock here. If she's ready for bed at 10, that's fine. If she's ready at midnight, that's fine. Whenever the routine is done for the day - and she signals that she's about had it - that's when she goes to sleep. Same  for naps. She's almost six months old. Things are easier now than in the beginning, and she's more predictable.

Answer 13

I pick my daughter up..I don't allow her to cry..I cuddle her to sleep everynight and really the cry it out method is not for me..nor do I agree with it..

Answer 14

well we let my neice cry for like 15 minutes. but then after that we pick her up, change her diaper, try giving her a bottle, burp her, change her clothes [if shes wearing long-sleeves we change her into a onsie and vice-versa] give her a nook, rock her in the rocking chair, put the musical mobile on above her bed, lay her down, rub her back...and if she starts crying again...we let her cry ot out because she just doesnt want to sleep if weve taken care of everything else.

Answer 15

Although I don't think you should just leave your baby cry all the time, if you've tried everything and it won't help, just let the baby cry itself to sleep.  

Answer 16

I'm going to get thumbs down for this but I don't care. It's lazy parenting. Your baby cries for a reason and it is up to you to figure it out. I couldn't imagine leaving my 4 month old to CIO, wondering where mommy is and why she isn't coming. It's ridiculous. Be a parent. It's a 24/7 job but you should have known that when you "signed up" for the job.

There have also been studies done that CIO IS damaging for your infant.

"Research suggests that allowing a baby to "cry it out" can cause brain damage.

Some experts warn that allowing a baby to "cry it out" causes extreme distress to the baby. And such extreme distress in a newborn has been found to block the full development of certain areas of the brain and causes the brain to produce extra amounts of cortisol which can be harmful."

ETA: Pilar, great quote!

Answer 17

"If your baby is not wanting to go to sleep do you pick him/her up and try something else or let baby have a good cry"

If she doesn't want to go to sleep, then I just wait another 30 minutes and try again. My daughter is 20 months old and has *never* cried herself to sleep. And never will.

There is no such thing as a "good cry." There are different cries, sure. Cries for hunger, cries for cuddles, cries for sleep..etc. But, there is no such thing as a "learn to self-sooth cry." Any parent who says that their infant needs to learn to self-sooth needs to take a step back and see how horribly ridiculous that sounds.

I understand all babies and parents are different, but this is one topic I just can't support. There's already evidence it causes harm, but still parents say "I ferberized" like it' something to be proud of..Trust me, it's not.

So, to answer your question (LOL) I would try anything and everything to settle my tired child down. But I would never let her cry.

ETA: What is with all the "It depends on how old the baby is." I'm sorry, but letting a toddler cry it out is just as bad as letting a newborn. Sometimes worse, in my opinion, because unlike a newborn, an innocent toddler *knows* mommy is in the other room, and just chooses not to come. And that is a very sad thing.

Answer 18

If you are looking for a way to get your baby to sleep with out the cryig I have found that establishing a routine, putting on jammies, listening to the same mellow album etc. my daughter starts falling asleep almost as soon as I put the album on. I disagree with ferberizing, but children also need to soothe themselves a routine is another way of helping them feel secure without having to sleep with them forever. I also got my daughter used to waking up with out me first.

Answer 19

Depends on how old the baby is.  Also -- depends on if they're tired or not. Sometimes when a baby is really overtired, it's hard for them to fall asleep. it's better to pick them up and sooth them (especially when they're under 6 months) -- otherwise they'll just cry & cry.  Often the reason a baby cries in his/her crib is because they're not tired at all. in that case, I pick my baby up, play with her and try again in 30 minutes (she's 7 months).  I HAVE let my baby cry -- I've done it when I know she's tired, when her cry is a fussy/whiny/tired cry, and when I know that picking her up and soothing her will not help her sleep.  I think we're the best judges of our own babies -- so my response always always always depends on my baby's needs and mood.  

I do think that one of the most important things you can do is teach your baby good sleep habits -- and that starts early (3 months).  Give them an opportunity to fuss and fall asleep on they're own. Don't be so quick to go in and "rescue" them.  That's what I've done and my baby is a great sleeper.  My friends always marvel at how "lucky" i am, but, I don't think it's luck.