When I'm upset with someone, instead of plotting revenge, how can I make myself feel better?

Question

When I'm mad at someone, I have anger, and it starts to build up. The only way it will go away is if I get revenge on that person. I will think of the worst things when I'm plotting revenge, I want it to stop. I try things to get rid of my anger such as breathing exercises, exercising, or writing it down. But the feeling won't go away until I get my revenge. I also say the most terrifying things to them. If I don't get them back for what they did, I'll start crying or I'll be depressed, the feeling won't go away.

Is there anything else I can do to stop my anger and make it go away, besides getting revenge? I think theres something wrong with me :(

Answer 1

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Answer 2

I think you have some impulse control issues, as well as some antisocial tendencies.

This is what I used to do (before I started yoga and meditation), but don't do it if you won't be able to stop yourself from acting it out in real life.

I imagine - very vividly and in great detail, sometimes more than once, me doing something terrible to them or just to some random person I don't really know that "symbolizes" them - like beating the c**p out of them.  I would really go over and over it in my mind for a long time until I felt tired from the effort - I mean like meditating on it almost, to where my energy and anger for them actually dissipated into this imagery.  It really did help me.

Answer 3

There are two things that I can think of to do:

1.  Take up a sport - racquetball, tennis, running, swimming.  I do not think of avenging people, but when I am really angry, sports has all been a good release for that emotion.

2.  Do something really kind for someone.  Offer your help to someone in need.  There is nothing like caring for another to help you realize the vulnerability of humanity.  It takes the steam out of wanting to hurt someone.

Answer 4

Girl, there is nothing wrong with a little bit of a revenge.

Answer 5

maybe u can buy a stress ball :] it helps me sometimes. make believe its the persons head & squeeze it HARD! or just go run around ur room screaming the things u want 2 do 2 that person when ur alone. & i mean SCREEAAAM til u feel like u got it all out

Answer 6

music....music is a great release!!!!!!!!!!!  Reall angry music....or sad lyrics that talk about how the person hurt you!!!!  The Fight Song by Marilon Manson is always a great choice.....

Just jump around and scream the lyrics at the world....do it until you're to tired to think....

You'll feel so much better.

Answer 7

Just ignore it and think about the good and positive things in life.

Think about your good friends that you have in life, your animals, your little brother and sister, and music.

I know its natural for human being to want to get revenge so theres nothing wrong with you Hannah...but if you think about it constantly..than it will only hurt you more...plus, its a waste of energy..=)

Answer 8

I have the problem of wanting to get back at people too.  It's to prove I was right about what I thought of them.  I reallyvwant to see the answers to this question.