When I answer martial arts questions, am I the only one that feels this way?

Question

From time to time someone ask a question that I feel I can answer better privately. I feel that if I offer to help if they contact me by email they should at least acknowledge my effort. But it seems that many ask then don't check to see what answers they get.

Does this bother anyone else?

Have you had similar experiences?

Answer 1

Yes!!

I've felt that way recently ,I recieved a private email asking advice and I replyed and even offered to forward one of my fav self defence books which I own in softback to them in pdf form.

Which begs the question why ask for advice in the first place or are they just trying to pick brains to see if we are genuine ??

Best wishes :)***

Answer 2

Bluto hit the nail on the head.

I rarely even come to this part of YA anymore.

Peace on to you all.

Answer 3

Generally it doesn't bother me, because I feel like I am answering my questions for the general public, as well as the person wanting to know.

I offer my help to plenty people via email, and a few take me up on it, sometimes I get more email from people whose questions I have never answered. Sometimes I get so busy with user messages I don't get to come here and answer anything... other times no kind of acknowledgement from my effort.

It is mildly annoying, kind of like when someone chooses a best answer and just says something like "ok". In a perfect world we would all like a little feedback, that is usually why forums are better than Y answers because then you can have multiple posts and a continued discussion with other people.

But it is what it is, it doesn't bother me too much.

Answer 4

I always try to answer questions to the best of my ability, sometimes people read the answers, sometimes they don't.  My reward is not in getting "best answer" cudos, but at best in helping someone with their perspective and maybe providing a little guidance.

People tend to ignore things inconsistent with their firmly held beliefs, but occasionally we reach people and help them, to me this is a great reward.

I have had 36 years in the field of Martial/Combat arts, and I am always thinking of different ways to do old tasks. If I can remotely provide some help or guidance, I am happy.

Does it bother me, no, why should it, I get to speak my mind, if people chose to listen to my voice and others, wonderful, if not, at least I did my best.  

Have I had similar experiences, I don't know, I know that sometimes people do read my postings and I am happy when people acknowledge this.

Answer 5

I understand where you're coming.  I certainly appreciate the effort you put in trying to enlighten people.  

But, honestly, there are far too many knuckleheads out there with an opposable thumb, a computer and an attitude problem.  I'm not interested in getting emails from some irate kid who didn't like what I said about subject X.  

And no, I haven't forgotten our debate regarding western fighting systems/combat sports and martial arts.  Call it egotism but I was quite underwhelmed by the lack of response to my question, and that's why I didn't get back to you.

Answer 6

yeah because sometimes there is grabbing and groping that  you don't want everyone to know about

Answer 7

I try to brush it off when something silly seems to happen here. As others have said (I noticed that most of us here in this Question are serious posters..nice!), the majority of people posting here are not very serious.

As my first teacher used to say...

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

I don't know if that is totally accurate but it is an easy image to relate to.

And the Forrest Gump "Stupid is as stupid does" also fits well... ha ha.

Answer 8

Bushido reflects my feelings about this.

I have offered in the beginning but I stopped after a while.

Many of them don't really want to learn anything good.

They just want someone who responds to them.

I would only assist certain people here.

Answer 9

don't take this forum so seriously.

most of the questions are stupid and the same regular people answer the same regular info.

most people are putting up questions to be stupid and many people don't even consider this a "martial arts" secion but a MMA fans of the sport section.

Answer 10

Yes...and it is not just in martial arts questions either. Normally, you just want your effort achnowledged and the fact that you actually put emphasis and thought into your answers compared to other people who post on this thing.

But yes, don't worry, you are not alone! =)

Answer 11

I feel roughly the same as Judomofro.

Occasionally (rarely) I make my email available for those serious inquiries, though I am not offended or bothered if they do not respond. I've had a few people continue conversations via email, and those that continue to ask questions the same. I also have people who half motivated respond and never follow through.

I used to get upset at the ignorant/arrogance on here, but have come to realize that its a waste of my precious energy and time. Now, I answer about 1/5 of what I used to, and try my best to remain objective, and worry-free.

I think that you shouldn't worry so much and just offer your advice on here in the open forum. If the person reads the answer and wants to know more they should try to contact you (as they should anyway, being the ones asking). I also agree with the fact that the answers may be better served in the public area helping more than one person, and that is how I try to make my answers... for everybody who reads them.

Just my humble opinion.

Answer 12

It bothers me for that moment sure, then I move on.  I think it is just rude not to acknowledge people in such a circumstance with the exception of those people who do not have their email open of course. I feel the same about people who don't choose an answer to a question they posted.

However, from a girls perspective, if you answered my question with "email me" or "I can email you with an answer",..I'd have to wonder about your sincerity, at which point I would not acknowledge you.

Answer 13

Dont waste your time they already know the answer they want .They aren't looking for answers they are looking for agreement and most of them have nothing constructive to say anyway.

Answer 14

I agree with judo and aaron j, but I also see your point. I am not well suited to some of the questions and answers here because my one prejudice I have is ignorent people lol.

I have offered to help people via E-mail and some have taken me up on it. I had one lady that was torn between what style to take in here area. i checked out the websites online for her and then narrowed it down to two that didn't look like a waste of time. She then asked for recomendations from those two styles. Last I knew she was in class and loving it, and sent me an excellent ty e-mail.

This is the reason I keep coming here and risk having a breakdown because of all the ignorance, because truly helping that one person is with it.

I also notice that most that have responded to your question are generally the only ones that have any useful advice, with a few being missing.

Answer 15

most ppl dont want an answer they want a concurrence to there usually misinformed incorrect opinion.i dont offer to help anyone although i dont mind if someone emails me for advice,at least when they do without it being offered to them i know thier genuine.i get quite a lot of emails asking my advice mainly from martial arts and i usually give a better answer than in the forum,time permitting of course.the biggest problem i find is quite often theres just to many emails to answer every one.