When You Are Adopting A Child, Is It Common that....???

Question

The case work sets up meetings with your friends and family??

My *boss* rang me about an hour ago, to tell me he has been asked to go into our case workers workplace, and have a chat. She also made a time to come and check my workplace out, and my Husbands workplace. I don't know if any others have been asked, we have been out on the farm most of the day, but I have a lot of missed calls. lol!

Also, will they ask my 4yo Godson (who we are trying to adopt) his opinions?? He isn't very verbal, but I think he understands a bit.

And will they ask our children??? Our tot's are nearly 3yo, and I was wondering if they'd be asked. Obviously they would have to be asked if they are comfortable, wouldn't they???

If they do ask, would we be present at all? We wouldn't be feeding them what to say, but since we have our Godson's Aunt fighting our claims, I don't want her there.

Thanks, sorry for the hundreds of questions!! I don't really have many around here who can help us answer them.

xxxxx

Answer 1

I have a friend that adopted and she went through all the things you mentioned. It's kinda crazy how in depth adoption agencies are. However, no one wants to assist an adoption where the kid ends up with crazy, abusive parents.

Answer 2

errr yes

Answer 3

we are in QLD and have just gone thru the adoption process and are waiting to find out if we are"deemed to be appropriate adoptive parents".They did not ask to speak to anyone else...friends or family...let alone work.Call your case worker or the adoption agency and ask them why do they need to do this...they will explain it all to you.

Answer 4

I know it sounds like they are prying but honestly it does sound like they are a good agency to be so thorough and they are covering their a$$es so that they Aunt cant turn around and say "well they didnt do xyz"

How old is the Aunt ? Does she have Kids ? what sort of a case does she present ?

Personally if you have a good set up on the farm with 2 sets of twins and manage well, and he has been living with you anyway, then I don't think she will stand a hope in h**l, and I think its good they are being so thorough for that very reason.

Try not to stress about it too much, you have enough on your plate as it is

Oh and I would ask to be present with your 3 year olds.

(((hugs)))

Answer 5

Yes, it is extremely common for all of those things to happen.

My adoptive parents went through the same thing with me.

It is well worth it though.

Answer 6

I doubt they'd ask children so young questions, maybe a few simple questions about home life. Things a 3 yo can answer!

It IS common they set up meetings w/ people you know, we will have to do that tw/ stepparent adoption.

Answer 7

Weird.  Our privacy laws are pretty strict and no way no how could my employer give out information to anyone without my permission, unless I put them as a reference.

Answer 8

Yes this is very common they will want to speak to family, close friends, co-workers, employees etc. In some cases they will even have this people write like an essay or something.  As far as speaking to your kids I’m not sure if the kids were older they probably would want to talk to them but since they are only 3 I sort of doubt they will. I would think they would more observe your godson maybe ask him if he’s happy but I doubt it would go beyond that.

Answer 9

Yes, it's part of the normal assessment procedure for adoption. Your case worker should have explained this to you. If you are in the UK, you will need to complete a form F with your case worker. Prior to this the whole process should be described to you. You are taking a big step when you apply to adopt. The authorities need to ensure that you are the right person for the child.

Answer 10

Absolutely.  It means you've a really good case worker.  They need to know that the child will be safe and a good fit in your world.  Some people can put on a good face in an interview but when you start talking to the family and you find out that the husband doesn't really want to adopt and would prefer a divorce, you know you have a problem.  Sometimes you find out that there are serious mental health problems with the parents to be, who have very unrealistic expectations of an adoption.  Sometimes there is a brother with an addiction and violence problem that tends to crash at the house whenever he is out of prison.  Also not an optimal condition.  What they want to hear is how you are very excited about the adoption, have a stable relationship, stable finances (they don't have to be great just stable), and have a good support system.  The thing to remember is that

the workers want this to work out.  They want to see a good

match.  Don't worry, be yourself and congratulations.

Answer 11

It is very common and they will also contact your kin