When a adopted child in the USA turns 18.....?

Question

Is the birth parents allowed to find him/her and contact them?Even if the child had no idea he/her was adopted?

Answer 1

Well I personnel think you should let him find you  all if that’s what he wants.  Register with a reunion site, and then if he does too one day you will be matched. Most people his age hopefully would know they were adopted.  I would not suggest just calling up who knows how he would take it, even more if he doesn’t know he is adopted.

A short letter might be best that way he can respond if he wants to , heck he doesn’t even have to read it if he doesn’t want too. But I wouldn’t send anything in till he is 18 or older.

Answer 2

Wait until he's 18. If the adoptive parents find out about the contact and don't approve of it, they can put a restraining order against you and then you won't be able to contact him until he's over 18 anyways. Legally once an adoptee is the age of majority that varies from state to state between 18 and 21, they can take the search upon themselves, by requesting their non identifying i nformation, joining the state registry ( if there is one ) or seaching via their own methods.

I would suggest having your wife and the adoptees biological father putting a form to consent their release of identifying information through the state or agency he was surrendered in and submitting that into the adoptees file.

Then when he's 18 contacting him via letter, phone, or meeting however you guys feel is the right way to do it.

Letters may give digesting time and make it more personal. Phone calls can be uncomfortable if adoptive parents are unsupportive of reunion and sitting next to you. etc. etc.

Answer 3

i think they have to go to the court and go that way so yes there is a potential chance but it will be hard, its easier for the child to look but that is in the uk

Answer 4

Hi Dave

It is very difficult - the adoption records are sealed.

Some states do allow the Court to order that the records can be opened, but it takes litigation first.

Some states have a registry where the biological parent can register with as much information as is available and if the adopted person also registers, they can make contact.

I think that there is a legitimate fear that some long gone biological relative will show up wanting to intrude in the adopted person's life or asking for a handout.

Answer 5

I am an adoptee and I got back in touch with my birthmother and siblings after I turned 18. There is no law against looking for someone in the USA.

Answer 6

If the child doesn't know that he is apopted, you could turn his whole world upsidedown.  Tread lightly. Hopefully they told him that he was adoptd but how would you know?  Personally, I think that all apdotive parents should tell their kids from the get go.

Answer 7

Maybe your wife or her ex can write a letter. This gives the child the option to respond. What makes you think the adoptive parents did not tell him? He has a right to know especially if it has been held away for 18 years.

Answer 8

Yes you can.  Once an adoptee turns 18 they ar no longer a child and can decide for themselves if they want contact with other adults!

Unfortunately, the States have archaic laws on the books that keep records sealed in 44 States so the only option in those States would be to find each other via registries and public records

The largest registry is ISRR.net

Hopefully, in this day and age there are no Adoptees growing up without the knowledge that they are adopted!

All the best