When a baby is adopted is he/she a "blank slate" that will easily fit into the adoptive family?

Question

When a baby is adopted is he/she a "blank slate" that will easily fit into the adoptive family?

Answer 1

No child, adopted or otherwise, just easily fits into it's family. We more conform to it than the other way around. :)

Answer 2

Two words:  NO WAY

Answer 3

Any child comes  with his or her unique biological make up that will to some extent determine how they will grow up -NO BLANK SLATES.

Answer 4

Only someone desperate delusional and in denial would "buy" into that theory.

Answer 5

Nope.  

If a German Shepherd was adopted by a Persian Cat the German Shepherd would always be a German Shepherd no matter how hard the Persian Cats tried to mold him into one of their own.

Answer 6

Yeah- Right.

then explain to me why My mother and I have such similar Personalities, and  life experiences - she didn't raise me or have ANY contact until I was in my 30's!

Answer 7

While I agree that no child is a blank slate, I was adopted when I was six months old, and have no idea where I was for the first six months.  I have no memory of any kind from those very early days.  With that said, however, I knew before I even understood what the word meant that I was adopted.  I knew that I was unique and not quite part of my parents although they loved me as if I was.  I have always been very independent.

Answer 8

The baby itself is a "blank slate" to be loved and cared for and reared by the parents, but the whole situation of adoption is not a blank slate.  For transracial adoptions, you'll always have questions about "oh, where is he/she from?" "oh is she adopted?" even though she's racially totally different.

For my wife and I, we're planning on adopting a sameracial child, so she will have a cleaner slate, but I would not say that it would be even a "clean slate."

Answer 9

Although I could post plenty of links, I 'm not going to do so, as it is very easy to find all of the scientific evidence one needs to see that the short lived blank slate theory is bunk.  When I was a young adolescent, I believed in it.  Research and life experience have both proven otherwise.

Answer 10

No, a baby is a human being not a blob that can be molded as an adult sees fit. Babies sense a lot more then they get credit for.

Answer 11

What we all want most in this world is acceptance...UNCONDITIONAL acceptance.  The answer to your question is no.  You cannot ask a human being, who was created by DNA from two people, and who grew inside one of those people, to become someone they are not.  That negates the person's very existence...the essence of who they are, at the core of their being.  If you plan to adopt, you must do everything you possibly can to honor the person you have brought into your life, exactly as they are (meaning, a product of others), and not try to make them into what you want them to be.

Answer 12

I was adopted at 7 mos. of age and I always thought I belonged to my family even though I found out later in life I didnt. I look pretty much like my adopted dad, so I never questioned it until they told me and I felt I fit in great. I was never made to feel like I wasnt their biological child (and they had 1 themselves that was biological). So I would say it depends on the home environment and how the family treated you and made the adoption known.

Answer 13

Blank slate? I don't think so...

How they will fit into a family depends on how willing the family is to accept their child the way they are.

I didn't "fit in" to my biologial family. I was half mexican/caucasion. so I did't fit it on either side.

I hope my son will feel free to be who he wants to be. His other family is still his family, so he can look to them for similarities that "run in the family".

Answer 14

No child is a blank slate- ever.  I think that babies will adjust a little easier into a family if they have not been abused...  but I don't think I'd ever say any child through adoption is an easy adjustment unless the've aleady been living with the family for a while...  and in that case their adjustment came earlier.

Have you ever seen Trading Spouses?  Look at the adults adjusting to a different family and enviroment.  Kids are probably sooooo be wildered, scared, confused, etc., at first with any placement.

Answer 15

Oh, you sound like my mother in law. No.  Children have experiences from birth, before birth. Our son seems to easily fit into our family; he was 7 months old when we got him, but he spent almost all of his 7 months in a home that was non-English speaking. He had foster sibs there. Since we sent our foreign exchange daughter home, he's an only child here. That kid has been through a lot and he's only 11 months old! We're anticipating issues in the future because of his past.

Answer 16

No child is a "blank slate". ALL parents should allow their children, adopted or not, the freedom to express who they are.

Answer 17

No.  Even newborn infants are aware of who they were born to; I mean for heaven's sake, they were intimately connected to their mother since conception, they heard her voice, were rocked to sleep by her movements and heartbeat, she was their whole world since the moment they came into being.

Have you given birth?

I have, and I can tell you that BOTH of my children knew exactly who I was the instant they were born.  While the nurses were busy weighing and mesuring and cleaning, and my babies crying because they didn't know what the heck was going on, it was MY voice that caused them to instantly calm down and search the room to find me.

It was MY arms they wanted to be held by.  Nobody else's.  They knew the difference between me and everybody else.

So to consider them blank slates who don't know their mother's from adam is, well, just ridiculous.