When a dad plays with his daughter, are occasional erections normal?

Question

My hunch is that this is normal, but it still feels awkward and so I wanted to get some support/normalization/advice.

When playing with my five year old daughter, I sometimes have an erection. I think its simply the way this silly body works --when my p***s is bumped, sat on, rubbed against, etc. (yes, with clothes on).

Do I have 'sexual thoughts' about her? No, I would never want to be sexual with her. However, the way guys are built, when erect, 'sexual feelings', etc. are present and I don't like have these feelings around her.

Once, while all three of us were snuggling in bed (me between my wife and daughter) I noticed I had an erection and it seemed like my wife had noticed too...so then I was insecure that she was worried and insecure that 'something was wrong with me'. Anyway, its all hard to explain and kind of awkward. Any thoughts or advice? I'm sure I must not be the only dad wondering about this stuff.

Thanks!

Answer 1

that's so not normal! Get some help, that makes me sick even reading this!

Answer 2

No its not normal my partner has an errection when i get close to him but not with the kids it stays down.

Answer 3

i would go see a doctor.

Answer 4

As long as its accidental touching, you have no erotic thoughts about your daughter and would never act on your arousal then I do not see you as having a problem.  I know that little boys often respond to being bathed, etc., so I think we have to think seriously about this being simply a natural reaction.

It took a lot of guts for you to ask this question and I applaud you.  Our fears of sexual predators and the number of people who have been assaulted as children have made us very panicky about anything of this nature.  I suspect that is why you received such a negative reaction.

I think its important to understand what is a natural reaction and what is not.  Women have known for years that sometimes they become a bit aroused by breastfeeding...yet no one would jump all over them for mentioning it.  

Answer 5

i dunno sounds sick and twisted to me bt hey it might be normal

Answer 6

Definitely not normal....

Answer 7

You don't give your age. I would have to say if its bumped or touched and your early 20's- late 20's that would be normal because for most men they would get an erection. If your 30 or above I'd say that's not normal. As men age, those bumps and touches don't automatically bring on arousal. I'd talk to your doctor and ask him/her for sure. I have never heard of this, but I'm sure someone somewhere has had this happen. Good luck and I hope you get to the bottom of it. As for your wife, I'd be open with her and just tell her the truth.  

Answer 8

You need serious help

Answer 9

Brother!

What a dilemma!  You don't want to inculate a sense of sexual shame in your daughter, but you don't want to have her get too friendly with that accidental lump in your pants.  

I think your reaction is perfectly normal.  The best you can do is try to limit the sort of play that brings that sort of contact, and talk to your wife openly about it.  I have two daughters, one 17 and one 8.  For lots of men, being tender and loving, combined with physical contact in that particular area is more than enough to give one a short lived physical erection reaction.  It's triggered by the contact AND by the tender, loving emotional state.  Of course you're not thinking of your daughter sexually at that moment, but don't you even get a similar reaction from cuddling your wife on your lap, even without any real throught of s*x?

Again, in my opinion and experience, I really think you're fine, and the only thing I would advise you to do is try to find other play methods which, while still tender and loving, don't create so much direct contact.  

I hope this helps, amigo.  

Answer 10

It is normal for an erection to occur when that area is bumped or rubbed against.  However, most of the time just the very fact that it is a child doing the rubbing is enough to prevent most men from getting erections.   The problem is that this type of thing actually can lead to sexual thoughts about your daughter/other young kids.   Many child molesters can trace their days back to this type of thing, however that doesn't necessarily mean you will become a child molester.   It just means you have to be very careful.

Answer 11

That sounds normal. That can happen, it's not only you

Answer 12

I really and truely have no idea about how normal this is. Might I suggest talking to your doctor about it? They have to be confidential and if it's normal, he'll reassure you, if it's not he'll refer you.

It really doesn't sound like you're a sicko, but I do think it is something that can get to be a problem if it is in fact, not normal.

Have you talked to your wife about this?

Answer 13

I think only a man can answer this question for you.

Answer 14

I don't think so, I think you need to see some one to help with this professionally

Answer 15

Well like most people said, I would talk to your doctor about this. It doesn't make you a "sicko" or anything. Having an erection doesn't always mean you're horny. It's just something that happens. I would consult your doctor about this, and not listen to the opinions of others.

Answer 16

Sounds like a normal physical response to me. Your body can't tell how old the person bumping into you is, or what relation they are. It's a reflex action. As you said, no sexual thoughts, so your mind isn't going there ahead of you. You're not doing anything inappropriate. Sounds perfectly normal to me. So long as you focus your thoughts and feelings on your wife, as it seems like you are, you'll be fine.

On your behalf, I put up an umbrella against the tirade of thumbs-down I'm about to get for disagreeing with the popular kneejerk reaction of "OMGPEDO!" You're not. Relax.

Answer 17

That's definitely not normal.  Seek the help of a doctor, please.

Answer 18

not healthy mate , please go to your doctor and try and talk about why you have these thoughts / feelings

Answer 19

I don't feel this is normal. My partner sits both kids on his lap, and does all the things you have mentioned, and he has never gotten an erection! I would be very uncomfortable if he ever did. When getting an erection your mind also has a part in it too.  

Answer 20

My husband plays with our 3 year old daughter every day and NEVER has this happened to him, It sounds quite strange. I'm not saying your a sicko or any thing but no i don't think its normal.

Answer 21

You can keep telling yourself that it's normal all you want, but guess what? IT'S NOT!

IF this is true (which I hope to God it's not), than your wife has a reason to be worried and you need some serious help.

Answer 22

your body acts in its own way, like someone else said "it" does not know who or what touched it. If you feel uncomfortable about it  research it ok or ask someone you really trust.

Answer 23

I don't think it's normal, but people are wrong to say it makes you a "sicko", erection does not necessarily mean you're horny, it's just a bodily function.

Answer 24

I would suggest asking a therapist.  Seriously, this sounds odd to me.  My husband never had that prpblem with our two daughters.

Answer 25

i agree with johno. i'm a woman, and as such i don't have a p***s so i don't know really when, how, or why one becomes erect, so i feel that the women that answered this negatively should calm down. sometimes my 10 month old son will poke at my b*****s while we're in the tub and i have to slap his hands away. when my nephew was younger he would suck on my fingers and let's just say that it caused a reaction that i'm not proud of so i'd have to shove him away. i'm not a perv and i've NEVER touched my nephew in an inappropriate way. it just sucks that the asker, as a male, has a body part that does what he doesn't want it to do, and its visible to others. i don't think the guy is a perv, i've heard my son's father say that strange things can cause strange reactions with penises.

*edit* try2, have you thought of asking this question in the men's health section? you'd get a different audience there.

Answer 26

That surely cant be normal but im only 18 so what do I know.

Im gonna check the other answers but it sounds weird to me.