When a man watches p**n is it because he isnt happy with his s*x life?

Question

My boyfriend has know forever that i dont like him watching p**n so he decided to do it behind my back and when i found a lot of it on his computer he tried to lie to me and say he didnt do it. finally he stopped lying but he didnt understand why i was so upset about it. i have told him how i feel about it plenty of times before so he knew. it makes me feel like im not good enough and makes me self-concious about myself because i dont look like all the p**n stars he watches. i have decided to pretty much cut him off from all sexual activities (even though he doesnt know that, ill let him find out the hard way) to kind of punish him. Is that wrong of me?

Answer 1

your not EVEN going to hurt him doing that.p**n is not a substitution for you.maybe he's taking lessons,have you ever thought of that??? instead of cutting him off,and making your realation suffer.why don't you try watching one with him......who says you have to be looking at the women.while my husband is looking at ****..I'M LOOKING AT GENITALS TRUST ME IT GET VERY EXCITING.maybe than he wont feel the need to hide or lie .

Answer 2

I believe that him watching p**n has nothing to do with you. I don't think watching p**n is healthy at all. Playing games with this is not the answer. I think that it is disrespectful to you and a form of running around on you! I would look at that and decide if this is what you want.  

Answer 3

Guys watch p**n because they like to m********e.  That is why I watch p**n.  I could have s*x every day and still watch p**n.  It comes with having a p***s.  You wouldn't understand.

Answer 4

  its all about the dong..... don't worry. its harmless and there is nothing wrong with you.  

Answer 5

Mostly men watch p**n because it is in their nature to look at naked women (mostly opinion here but I really believe this). Couples watch it to be turned on and men also pleasure themselves (and women also do this).  I actually think your over-reacting unless this is all he does all day long.  If so then he needs help, and you with holding s*x from here is surely not going to cure him.  He is not hiding this from you, and at least you can say he's being honest with what he does with his time.  You could explain how you feel but I really doubt him watching p**n has anything to do with the fact you feel your not good enough for him.  He's watching it because he's a typical horny man.  He is healthy.

I see many posts on here about p**n being upsetting and I'll be honest i was never with a man who watched it alone all the time.  I always watched it with my ex and found no problems with it, because if we weren't doing something he had no need for it.  These men who do watch it all day, perhaps they are lost in some type of fantasy land.  

Since you don't like to watch it with him what do you expect?  Why don't you try watching it with him one time and see what happens.  I bet you will be happy with the results.  

        

Answer 6

Please!  Men like p**n just because they like to see people nekkid going at it!  It has not a darn thing to do with his feelings for you, his feelings of attraction for you or anything else related to you.  It's all about HIM!  My advice is to let him have his way occasionally otherwise he'll just find better ways to hide it from you in the future!    

Answer 7

Man is Mars and woman is Venus. We are created differently. Don't try to find out more, don't try to know, don't ask, don't dig, don't stop him, don't stifle him, and don't make him feel bad... from whatever thing he is doing that may be purely a man's thing. Ignorance is bliss. You will be a much happier person.

And if you still want to choose to be bothered, then the rule of thumb is - if you can't beat him, join him. You may want to subscribe to the Playgirl magazines and have them delivered to where you and your boyfriend live. Be anticipative of his reaction and have fun after that.

Answer 8

You are not going to have a healthy relationship if you act like this...Firstly using s*x as leverage to get your own way will drive him to seek it elsewhere and secondly...If he is watching it alone an not in front of you then LET him..trying to make him conform or change will only create tension...You sound like you need to dominate him and have him conform to your rules...

Answer 9

you have it all wrong. first guy watch p**n cuz we are guys. He would rather be with you trust me. Don't feel so bad about your self .  

Answer 10

Do you think any of us look like the p**n stars? Really?! Come on...I don't have bleached blonde hair, big b*****s, or a perfect body ( I have been pregnant twice ). But sounds to me like you are serously lacking security, confidence and self esteem. And him looking at p**n is not the problem, its you. And how insecure you are. YOU need to get over this. Its a problem because YOU made it a problem. No wonder why he had to hide it from you. With a g/f like you...sounds like a nightmare. And with holding all things sexual....even more of a nightmare.

I think he would be smart to dump your a**. If your going to with hold s*x, especially to punish him...he's going to be going to real women. And is going to be sticking it in them. Hmmm, can't figure out which I would prefer.

You freak out about p**n and your going to be with holding s*x...come back in a few weeks and tell us how it went for you.

Answer 11

Its not wrong of you to feel this way because you cant help it. A man will do whatever he wants regardless of how you feel. He probably thinks its none of your business because its only him and his computer. As long as hes still giving it to you, then dont worry about it. Dont you watch p**n? Why dont you guys try it together so you dont feel like hes cheating on you with a screen.

I dont care what my fiance does by himself in private...as long as hes in bed with me at night thats fine by me.  

Answer 12

I don't think it means he is unhappy with you. He just likes to watch it. I think you're being a little harsh. He shouldn't have tried to be sneaky with it though.

Answer 13

It makes you feel like you're not good enough and makes you self-conscious because you don't look like that?

Sounds like the problem is yours, not his.

All men watch p**n.  Especially when their girlfriends cut off all sexual activity.

You should break up with him.  If you think that punishing a man in any way (much less by denying him s*x) is okay, you don't belong in a relationship with anyone except a good therapist.

Answer 14

I've been in your exact position.  I felt so horrible- like I wasn't good enough or our s*x life wasn't good enough.  We came very close to a divorce over this- not good.  

To me, I consider it being unfaithful, because he really knows how I feel.  But withholding s*x is not going to make anything easier- I think you'll really have to try to get your emotions in check (hard not to get emotional, I know), and talk to him about it- a long, serious conversation.  

Everyone will tell you it's a self esteem thing- and it probably is, but with today's society, it's hard for any woman that's NOT 5'5", 115lb. with a 22inch waist and 36DD to not feel bad about themselves.  I feel for you, I really do.  Just hang in there.  

Answer 15

I don't know about other guys, but I watch it because I virtually have no love / s*x life...

Edit : And for you women who believe that men warch p**n just because they're guys, you're dead wrong. Maybe some do, but for others among us, it's all we have. EVER THINK OF THAT?!!!

Answer 16

yeah, i guess the best way to have someone be secretive and watch p**n like a sneak, is to deny him s*x.  there is probably nothing wrong with you. his actions do not necessarily have anything to do with your attractiveness. noboby looks like a p**n star, not even the p**n stars since they are made to look great for the camera. people love each other for a variety of reasons. some guys love a woman but still find certain other women sexually attractive whom they never would spend time with. if he is there for you and you still feel inadequate, i suggest that you need to seek therapy about your own self image. this dear heart, is not about you. if you have good s*x with him, what is your problem? apparently you want to control him rather than love and understand him.

good luck, but when he goes someplace else because you have cut him off, decide whether it was worth it.

Answer 17

The only thing that I think is wrong is that your boyfriend is disrespecting your feelings.  What you feel is totally normal for a woman to feel, because they equate s*x with love and all of what you've described, while men can view s*x as just s*x.  That doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or anything like that, but to him, since he is a man and the male and female brain is totally different, he doesn't see it the same way that you do.  It isn't because he isn't happy with his s*x life.  I had an ex that used that as an excuse, it's because he's a man and it's no big deal to him.  Personally, I wouldn't appreciate my husband watching p**n, he doesn't anyways, but he knows how I feel about it and respects my feelings.  He may not understand why I feel the way that I do, but he is respectful regardless of that.  

Answer 18

you'll just be giving him a reason to watch more p**n! seriously though, my husband looks at p**n alone, i look at it alone and we watch it together. it has never caused any problems in our marriage. as long as we are still having s*x, i could care less.

Answer 19

I think that a guy who is unhappy with his s*x life would probably watch more p**n that one who is happy with it.  

But no, I don't think men watch p**n because they are unhappy with their s*x life.  I think they do it because their guys.

Answer 20

I feel for you. You are looking at it the wrong way. He has a problem and it has nothing to do with you. He would find another outlet for his sexual depravity if it were not for p**n. Do what is best for you. Stop worrying about him. There is someone out there who will love you, only you and not seek selfish gratification else where.  

Answer 21

Let me reassure you that nothing is wrong with you. Not ALL men but some of us are p**n addicted. Like any other engagement, the fleshy craves control the mind then it becomes very difficult not to react to its demand. Things can be done with some limit but the excess of it only reflects the thought tendency. Some may say that it is a man's thing but it is as untrue as having a woman to use s*x toys all the time. We, human beings, only respond to what is predominant in our mind. Cutting him off from all your sexual activities will not do the trick, never. He has to grow up, be involved in a rewarding endeavor and/or with time he will leave that behind.

Answer 22

y would he understand why you're upset?

i mean why would any guy understand??

we are only watchin p**n online!! not like we those ppl and will ever meet them or even thinking of doing anything with them.

you need to get used to us wathcing p**n.

it does have anything do wit you.

whether he was wit Bitney spears or Haleberry he would still watch p**n.

s*x life can always improve in most cases, but this is not the reason we watch p**n. we will never stop, it's like air to us.

we breath it, and feel it.

we picture it. cnt wait to get home to go online to check out the latest p**n episode while our wives are out shopping or in the shower.

we love our family but cant live wit out watchin p**n.

so cry me a river!! deal wit it.

WE CANT CHANGE!!! AND EVEN IF WE COULD, WE WOULDNT CHANGE!!