When a manager says "disappointed", "frustrated", and "concerned" .. what does that mean in manager speak?

Question

Our project team is in trouble for a decision we made, and our manager sent us little emails expressing how upset we made her by not getting her approval on the key part that she disagrees with. How do these words differ? I know the definitions, we are trying to figure out who the manager likes best and least.

One person ... "I am concerned that you made the choice..."

One person ... "I am disappointed that you decided to ...."

One person ... "I am frustrated that you chose to ..."

Obviously, they all mean that she is annoyed, but we are looking at the nuances.

Answer 1

Person 1:  She did not like the option but it is probable ok if the person can deliver it.

Person 2:  She was  not happy.

Person 3:  She was extremely not happy.   Must be something she had warned about but this person continue to do it.

Like mom said, it is time for your team to sit down with her.

Answer 2

1. What was he logic you used to come to this choice, who decided this?

2.This is not what I told you to do- are you listening

3. This is not how I would have handled the situation, why didn't you come to me for assistance?

This is how I would decode the words she used.  In general, yes she is annoyed, and apparently wanted you to come to her for your decision, because no matter what you decided you may have been wrong if you did not ask her first.

Answer 3

Looks like the entire team is getting fired! lol

Answer 4

It means if you don't come up with better ideas or understand exactly what it is she is looking for, your jobs may be in jeopardy down the road.

Answer 5

I would say that the second person is in the least of trouble but the third should be worried! when she says she's disappointed she was obviously expecting the most of this person, but when she goes "frustrated"...I think this is definitely not good.

good luck to u all  

Answer 6

When I am unhappy with things and use the following words with staff, this is what I mean;

Concerned - I use this when a staff member does something that they knew they shouldn't have or should have known better.

Disappointed - I use this when a staff member does something that I thought they would have known better but obviously didn't.

Frustrated - I use this when a staff member continuously makes mistakes or judgements and doesn't learn from them and I don't know what to do about their performance.

Answer 7

It sounds like she is extremely unhappy with all of your decisions.  I don't really see much in the way of nuances.

I think it's time for the team to sit down with her and hash this out.