When a person is dying, and the sense of humor...?

Question

How weird is it to joke around about funny things you could put on the headstone? I was thinking of things to put on my brothers...Or, joke about how big of a party the wake would be, etc.? We have always dealt with tragedy in a comedic way..

Answer 1

its not wrong its your way of dealing

i was 13 and in all black in a funeral home

sitting on a couch with a whole bunch of friends and family

telling stories that made everyone laugh

my grandmother yanked me out of the room by my hair

"why are you insulting your mother like this?" she said

i replyed "whatEVER she loved my stories just as much as these people do"

Comedy is sometimes helpful b/c i didn't look like "the dead womans sobbing daughter"

i was calm and wasn't exactly having fun but i was able to control my emotions until i was alone (i work through my emotions best when i'm alone)

Answer 2

It depends on who's dying if it was somebody who loved humor all the time, then I would take the joking slow, and if he responded well, maybe joke around a bit more to make him feel at ease.

Of course, if they were a crazed strict-down-to-the-tiniest-detail kind of person, I wouldn't even dare crack a joke.

Answer 3

Personally, I believe it is a fabulous way to deal with tragedy, provided it is accepted by all family, friends, acquaintances who are involved. If your family has a tradition of doing this, then it is clear this is the way you deal with it. However, do remember that grief of the loss of a loved one has its place. In may come in stages, or all at once. If you ignore this aspect, you will eventually suffer in the long run. Grief is natural and should be experienced. My doctor told me that people who don't allow themselves to grieve over loss, become eccentric and angry inside. It is because the loss is a hurt and hurts, when not dealt with, turn into anger, hate, rage, etc. Death is as much a part of life as being born and living.

ps. about the headstone? Whatever made your brother feel good about in life, is the best thing to write, whether funny or serious.