When adopting do you get to choose the child?

Question

I never said anything about a white girl!!! read before you insult i don't have a racial preferance

Answer 1

I believe that in most cases the adoptive parents are presented with a "situation" by the case workers, and the adoptive parents are given the choice of "yes" or "no" in the case that they are presented.  As far being presented with with a list of females under the age of 1 year old from which you can choose your "chosen child", I think that is highly unlikely.  The demand for young children is far too great.  Fortunately, we have gotten past the "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?" adoption scenario.

Answer 2

There are NOT plenty of young white girls that need homes....sorry to burst your bubble.

Yes, if you become a foster parent and adopt through foster care you get to chose your child.  You can even do a straight special needs adoption through foster care (a lot of people that REALLY want to help a child in need do this..they want to help, but don't feel they can handle loving a child and then losing it later).

You get to read the case files with a social worker and go over history, look at photos and such....

If you're looking for ANY child under the age of a year...get in line and don't hold your breath. I seldom get children that young, and when I do they generally go with family.  Actually, a child under 5 without major needs takes a long time, if you want a caucasian child to boot....like a said, don't hold your breath!

I'm not being rude, and I don't think it is awful to want to have a young child, I'm just stating the facts.

There is no promise you will connect with a child.  Being a mother is a connection....my mom has 5 kids and has 5 VERY different connections with all of them.

Answer 3

I know a lot of people have to say either yes or no. But that isnt true. If you want to adopt you should go to a Chinese place, most of them let you choose. Try going onto www.lovewithoutbounderies.com. My sixth grade teachers' sister adapted a girl. She got to choose.

Answer 4

We are adopting through foster care.  The way the process works for us is that our social worker sends us "bulletins" which include a photo, some basic information, and a blurb about the child's needs.  My husband and I talk about whether we think our family might be a good place for this child, and we pass on the information to our social worker.

After that, our homestudy is submitted to the child's caseworker.  The caseworker then looks through the homestudies that were submitted, and chooses three families that might be good placements for the child.  Then, those three families "go to committee", which means the social worker, caseworker, foster parent, and any others involved in the care of the child up to this point, all get together and look over the homestudies of the PAP's.  This committee decides which family the child will be placed with.

So, yes you get to decide which children you feel you could parent, but no, you don't get to choose which child gets placed in your home.  But the process is different state by state.  You will need to check with your local DHS to find out how the process works in your state.  Good luck!

Answer 5

I had recurring nightmares as a kid about being up on a shelf in a store with a bunch of other babies with the potential adopters walking by 'choosing'

I'd almost forgotten about it until I saw this question.  Thanks.

Oh, and No.

Answer 6

Yes, absolutely. Trust me, you asking if you can choose the child is much, much less worse than someone "returning" a child because it was not what they were looking for.

Answer 7

i dont think you get to select but you can talk about your preferences. with newborn adoption, i think the birth mother picks you but i dont know how foster care would work. then youre involving a government office so its probably a tossup. you should call an adoption advocacy group, theyll most likely tell you more than one agency or a lawyer will. good luck!

Answer 8

Well, that's a complicated question.  It's certainly not like going to Wal-mart and picking out some item that suits you.  When we applied for adoption we filled out forms with every question on it you could imagine.  In a way, you do get to choose.  You choose age ranges, whether or not you would want a child with disabilities, that sort of thing.  And, I suppose you always have the choice when a particular child does become available.  But it's really not like choosing the baby you like the best.  For us, we just wanted a child.  We had no preferences for hair color, or anything else for that matter.  And, for us the wait was years.  After 4 years of waiting, we decided to become foster parents, and ended up being able to adopt from foster care.  Adoption is such a very serious thing.  Please don't take it lightly.  Adoption is complicated as the adoptees on this site will all tell you.

Answer 9

Usually you do get the chance to meet with a prospective child and then "choose" which one you fit best with.

Answer 10

If you are adopting internationally, generally, they pick the child for you unless you have certain requirements (such as you already have a girl and want another girl, or as you say a child under 1 vs. an older toddler).  Another example is if you are willing to take a medical needs child, but want to choose between different children of medical needs.  

In domestic adoption, I don't really know.

Answer 11

Sure...Haven't you heard of the store Babies R Us? Just go pick out the perfect baby. For the amount you are paying you should get too choose! *sarcasm* (in case you couldn't tell)

Answer 12

If you are adopting a child you can choose the child you would like to become your child.  If you become a foster parent there is no choosing and the agency will attempt to place a child that would hopefully fit your criteria.  You are doing a very brave and wonderful thing.  I wish you and your husband a world of luck and may you soon have the child you have always wanted. Good things come to good people.

Answer 13

yeah

Answer 14

yes thats kinda the point of adopting

Answer 15

Since I'm a PAP, I hope I can help. With international adoptions, you don't always have a choice. Most times you don't.  A child is referred to you, meaning you will recieve information on a child, then get to decide if you want the child or not; this is before meeting the little one. Like in China, because of the laws and the government they have mostly girls. The wait is much longer for a boy. In S. Korea (I believe) you can only request the s*x of the child if you don't have any children, or if you have majority girl or boy children in the household. Otherwise they pick for you. Only places like Kazistan (Sorry, the spelling is wrong), Russia, and I think the Ukraine allow you to pick the s*x snd the kiddie before you sign any papers saying you want the child. PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG APs, but I think they you a binder with children's pictures and a brief description, then you narrow your choice down to a  few children that you look at. Keep in mind, this is only done in a very few countries, and it;s not the AP's choice, or the Agencies choice that these countries do this. The country chooses to do it this way.

In most cases, all countries let you pick the age group. I'm still learning about dometic, so I don't feel comfortable making guesses about it, but I would assume that we have a choice. A lot of international adoption is at the countries countrol. You've got to pick the country that best suites your preferences and needs. In that respect, I think that some countries take advantage of PAP and APs because they know the couples/families want a child. So, they'll do it on the countries terms- as long as it's legal.

I hope this helps,

Skatergurljubulee

Answer 16

As far as I nkow adoption process involves a lot of choice. Even when adopting from foreign countries there is a lot of choice in the gender and age of the child. I don't think they would ever deny you choices as the system doesn't want kids placed in homes where they weren't wanted so they should give you all the choices you could want.