When adoptions agencies do your background check, do they contact your ex-husband's/wive's?

Question

My husband and I are considering adopting a child or siblings. I was reading thru several applications from different agencies and noticed that some ask for contact information of ex-wives/husbands. My husband is divorced and has 3 children from his prior marriage. He keeps in contact with them as much as he possibly can, pays his child support and supplies them with whatever they need and ask for, when he can. So I have no worries there. The thing I am conserned about is that his ex-wife and he are not on good terms and she has said some nasty things about him on myspace and god only knows to whom else. Knowing the truth it never bothered me, but now that we are trying to start a family of our own thru adoption, I am worried about what she might say if she were to be contacted by the agency. Nothing else will stop us from being licensed to become adoptive parents. I am very conserned that contacting her might stop our dream from becoming a reality.

Answer 1

No.  They are really only concerned with who the adopted child will be exposed to....siblings, extended families etc.  Think about it - if agencies based their decision on what an ex's new wife might say adoptions wouldn't be so successful would they?  They do want a time line of your life and your husbands but it is more to form an opinion about the family as a whole.  I wouldn't worry at all.  They're really concerned with who's living under your roof.  Good luck to you both....it's a wonderful experience!

Answer 2

THEY dont check on the ex's. My husband and I are both divorced and they didnt get ahold of the exs dont worry. Trust me my ex and I are the same way. Go ahead and adopt:):) They look to see if you are a felon and that you arent in any trouble now. GOOD LUCK:)

Answer 3

Unless there were allegations of abuse, I don't think this should stop you from adopting on its face.  They want make sure you are a good, safe, and stable placement for the child.  If you can show that you should be okay.

Answer 4

I am pretty sure that the agency would NOT contact the ex spouse...for the very reasons you state.  Not everyone seperates under good conditions and I am pretty sure that they don't want to hear all the "horrors" that a sour ex wife has to tell them.

I would ask the agency though, because I would be afraid to adopt from an agency that would even think about asking an ex spouse anything about your husband!!

Answer 5

So your husband's kids are growing up without their father (sees them when he can?) right?

And now you want to adopt a child who will also be growing up without their bio family, to be raised in your home with your step children's father?

What a ridiculous, unnecessary mess!

Your selfishness appalls and disgusts me me.